Howard's Eating Habits

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by BethSucks, Apr 3, 2013.

  1. BethSucks

    BethSucks Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    This excerpt from MarksFriggin is full of material. First off doesn't he ever get tired of dry salmon. He must be exceeding the limit of some toxin by eating it twice a day. He has all that money and he eats like a teenage girl. Then he alludes to Beth doing the grocery shopping, that's the closest to comedic that the show has seen in a while. Then the Beth hasn't eaten sugar in years comment, didn't he say she always eats ice cream or chocolate fairly recently.


    Howard Eating And Watching TV. 04/03/13. 7:15am
    Howard said he has such a small breakfast. He said he has egg whites and half a pita. He said it's almost no bread. He said he has some fruit during the show but very little. Then he has a baked potato with some salmon for lunch. He said that fills him up. then all afternoon he's fine. Howard said he goes home at night and that's when he fucks up. He said he eats a reasonable dinner. He said he had steamed salmon with vegetables and some egg plant with no sauce. Howard said he has 3 tablespoons of sauce. Howard said he has some brown rice and some string beans. He said he mixes it all up.

    Howard said he loves to watch TV and eat cashews and raisins. He said he told Beth to get rid of that stuff but she won't do it. Then she'll buy him more when he asks her not to. Howard said he loves nuts and that's his downfall. Howard said Beth doesn't eat any of that stuff. He said she hasn't had sugar treats in years. He said she loves sugar though. Howard said her mother sent him a bag of pistachios for Christmas but he told Beth that they're going to kill him. Howard said he eats them constantly. Howard said he has some belly on him.
    Howard said he can go through handfuls of cashews. Howard said he'll start to talk to himself and tell himself what he can eat and not eat. He said he'll start eating fruit to get away from the nuts. Howard said he gets in front of that TV and he has to eat. He said he'll eat an apple and then he'll want more nuts so then he'll get some grapes. He said the grapes are no good for you either. Howard said he eats so much of this stuff that he's gassy. He said he woke up this morning and had to take a dump.
    Howard said his goal weight is 190 but he's 199 pounds. He said he gained 3 pounds just eating that stuff last night. He said he's not sure what he's going to do. Robin said it seems to her that he has to give up the trigger. She said that's TV. Howard said he only does it when he's in that one room watching actual TV. He can watch on his iPad and not eat. Robin said he has to get rid of the food. Howard said Beth won't do it. Howard said he has to drop some weight for AGT. Robin said he has to stay in a neutral room and watch his iPad.
     
  2. Herc

    Herc New Member

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    He should take his own advice and remove a rib to look skinnier . . . :coffee:
     
  3. Herc

    Herc New Member

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    He should take all his nutrition through an IV Drip . . . :coffee:
     
  4. Beth143nacho

    Beth143nacho Well-Known Member VIP

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    Howard could stand to lose 10-15 lbs
     
  5. bznick

    bznick Hustling, Flowing, and Hating! Gold

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    If he's going to "binge" on grapes, pistachios, and raisins then he should just purge. Problem solved.
     
  6. artful dodger

    artful dodger Well-Known Member

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    i eat ice cream almost everyday and i'm a perfect human specimen :dancin:
     
  7. Herc

    Herc New Member

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    They natives in Somalia eat better than Howard does . . . :D
     
  8. DaBUU

    DaBUU Active Member

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    I remember way back when Howard was just like us.
     
  9. GaryPuppet

    GaryPuppet Well-Known Member

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    A $Billion in the bank and perhaps the most miserable mother fucker on the planet. I love it!
     
  10. BethSucks

    BethSucks Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    He probably "binges" at night because he's pissed that his wife is out with Katie Lee Joel and friends spending his money while he's home with a bowl of nuts.
     
  11. Herc

    Herc New Member

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    Howard's real nutrition is Marbles. That's his sustenance . . . :coffee:
     
  12. bznick

    bznick Hustling, Flowing, and Hating! Gold

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    A bowlful or a chinful?
     
  13. artful dodger

    artful dodger Well-Known Member

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    eat a more substantial breakfast, for starters, howard :dancin:
     
  14. chapped

    chapped Well-Known Member

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    lets see howard has someone buy the food for him, cook it for him, and pretty sure he can afford someone feed him like a bird so ... yea fuck him
     
  15. BethSucks

    BethSucks Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    He's dreaming about one while eating the other.
     
  16. GaryPuppet

    GaryPuppet Well-Known Member

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  17. bznick

    bznick Hustling, Flowing, and Hating! Gold

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    All his carbs are high glycemic; white potatoes, raisins, grapes, and he doesn't eat enough of anything else. All those high GI carbs spike his blood sugar and keeping him bloaty. He's obsessed just with calories... its what's IN the calories Howard, asshole.
     
  18. Herc

    Herc New Member

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    Write down "My wife has a HorseFace. And pretends she's a Supermodel" . . . :D
     
  19. Bentknee

    Bentknee Well-Known Member

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    I'm pretty sure that there is sugar in that marshmallow dessert that she makes. She probably tells Howard that they are sugar-free marshmallows and he believes her.
     
  20. 922Wine

    922Wine Well-Known Member

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    He's not evolved enough to know his diet contains too little protein and too much sugar between the raisins, fruit, potatoes and rice.

    Edit: Wrote my post before I saw yours

    THIS.