Husband has used a dominatrix

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Lucky Pierre, Jul 7, 2014.

  1. Lucky Pierre

    Lucky Pierre Well-Known Member

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    I would really appreciate any advice at all, or someone who has been in a similar situation, or knows anything about BDSM. After researching i can't find anyone who has been in a similar situation.

    My husband and i have been married for nearly 8 months and have been in a relationship for nearly 6 years. We have had arguments before because i found he was looking at interactive porn sites, where you have to pay a membership fee to join. I am not particularly against porn, i just don't really like the thought of him actually interacting, paying, and also one time he was caught using it i was just in the next room.

    In January after only being married for 2 months i found some text messages on his phone from a lady who he had been speaking to about BDSM (which means Bondage, Discipline, Submission and Domination. I have only just found this out myself). I was very upset and thought about leaving him but he promised not to do anything like it again, i told him i would leave him if i found out he had.

    Last month i discovered he had an alternative email address that i didn't know about. I got into it because i knew the answers to the questions you set when making an email address. I found approximately 30 emails to dominatrix's. Mostly trying to arrange a meeting with them. He even said in one of the emails thats he 'had to be honest, was married, with a young duaghter who he couldn't risk losing, and couldn't be marked'. Reading the emails he had sent to these women was very shocking and it didn't sound like him at all. It was obvious he did meet with one of these dominatrix ladies and has admitted to it. He says that this only happened once, which doesn't tie in with what he has said in these emails, but he states he was just saying he had met more. He has told me what they did, and they didn't have sex, which i am quite sure is true because most domintrix women don't have sex with the clients.

    Finding out this has made me feel very inadequate. I feel like i am generally not good enough and can't understand why he would risk losing his family to do it. How could he pay the money, we aren't exactly well off. We have always pretty much had a healthy sex life. Done the usual things couples do, dressing up etc. He has never mentioned to me about bondage and how he liked to be submissive.

    After going on our family holiday without him and staying at my parents we are going to try and make the marriage work. He says that it's just something he has always liked. A part of me feels like i should leave him. He has cheated on me. In ways i think its worse than an affair, as it was all pre-planned. I feel he married me without telling me the whole story. I am just really struggling to get my head round the situation.

    Previously i was very open minded, and didn't bat an eye lid about anyones sexual kinks. I am now finding myself becoming prudish towards it, because in my head i associate it with lies and deceit.
     
  2. Lucky Pierre

    Lucky Pierre Well-Known Member

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  3. Shivvy

    Shivvy VIP Extreme Gold

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    do you look like your av?
     
  4. Babs

    Babs VIP Extreme VIP Gold

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    Lucky, I thought you were a guy.
     
  5. Shivvy

    Shivvy VIP Extreme Gold

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    so did i :jj:
     
  6. Lucky Pierre

    Lucky Pierre Well-Known Member

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    post 2 genius
     
  7. TonyJax

    TonyJax White Privilege Denied. VIP

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  8. Gas Face

    Gas Face Well-Known Member

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    are you going to divorce him?
     
  9. Psyche

    Psyche Freethinker

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    This Pierre chick has issues.
     
  10. NipplesAndToes23

    NipplesAndToes23 Vice Regent to the Bar POTY VIP

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    Does your husband have a large cock?
     
  11. Gas Face

    Gas Face Well-Known Member

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    you're probably not putting out enough for him
     
  12. Kanye West

    Kanye West Yeezus!

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    Hey Pierre does your husband give you anal?
     
  13. wife is a whore

    wife is a whore Tard News Team VIP

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    She should go with him to a Domme session and direct.
     
  14. Orgy Pants

    Orgy Pants teklife

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    learn BDSM lucky. for the sake of your daughter!
     
  15. Gator

    Gator What?

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    Bobtraw? :eek:
     
  16. VeeB

    VeeB I have a Full Member VIP

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    Let her know I will beat the shit out of him for free.
     
  17. Scott

    Scott Masshole Staff Member

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    Jesus, my wife can't keep anything a secret.
     
  18. Tigger Please

    Tigger Please VIP Extreme Gold

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    Ha, yes; I know!
     
  19. Scott

    Scott Masshole Staff Member

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    Jesus, my wife can't keep anything a secret.
    She told you too? :eek:
     
    Tigger Please likes this.
  20. Dream Theater

    Dream Theater DAWGS E-BULLY Squad 2010 OG Gold

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    Lucky show us your tits!