I could write better poetry than Emily Stern...

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Dlist, Nov 2, 2012.

  1. Dlist

    Dlist Well-Known Member VIP

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    Loved my dad once
    but not anymore b/c
    wife number 2
    is such a whore...


    #1 on Amazon, true story.
     
  2. pontius pilot

    pontius pilot #TeahmGandhiStarver VIP

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    i wrote one for robin....for future use.

    [​IMG]
     
  3. Dlist

    Dlist Well-Known Member VIP

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    Poetry by Beth Stern
    "My dog just died
    My spouse is a mess
    Wash him away in a flood,
    I couldn't care less"
     
  4. DogStar69

    DogStar69 Well-Known Member

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    Roses are Red
    Howard's show blew
    It needed the money.
     
  5. Dlist

    Dlist Well-Known Member VIP

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    #2 stanza
    "my spouse is a louse
    he couldn't care less
    about gary and his family
    and his CT house.."
     
  6. WillyBest

    WillyBest Achiever Gold

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    Hickory, dickory, dock,
    My dad like beer can cock,
    Hash oil and orgies of pole,
    Then he goes out to bowl.
    Hickory, dickory, dock.
     
  7. yippeekyaa

    yippeekyaa Moved forward. VIP

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    Let's do an add your own line to mine version and see what we come up with.

    There once was a man from long island.
     
  8. WillyBest

    WillyBest Achiever Gold

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    Who had the best radio show in the land.
     
  9. Dlist

    Dlist Well-Known Member VIP

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    There was once a man from long island
    who said private parts is a love story?
    But sure as it will, and sure as it is
    Left his wife for a bleach blonde cat loving snore whorey..
     
  10. WillyBest

    WillyBest Achiever Gold

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    There once was a man from long island,
    Who had the best radio show in the land.
    The laughs kept on coming with Billy and Jackie,
    But even Artie left and now it's just
    hacky!
     
  11. Dlist

    Dlist Well-Known Member VIP

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    I hate my dad
    I hate my life
    and I so hate
    his gold digger wife..
     
  12. Dlist

    Dlist Well-Known Member VIP

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    I hate my dad
    so in a limba
    but my mom said
    he would go for a bimba.
     
  13. SuperFarts

    SuperFarts Well-Known Member

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    My hook nosed jew bastard dad wears a wig,
    Blobbin had surgery on her gunt.
    It sucks to be Howard Stern's daughter,
    Hes got a small cox and I got a hairy, smelly stinky cunt.
    Zoo za zoo za zoo.
     
    Last edited: Nov 2, 2012
  14. Rufus

    Rufus Well-Known Member VIP

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    Roses are red
    My husbands a Jew
    I won't blow him
    But I'll fuck you
     
  15. MutteringJohn

    MutteringJohn Well-Known Member

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    There once was a man from NantucketWhose dick was so long he could suck it. And he said with a grin As he wiped off his chin,"If my ear were a cunt, I would fuck it."

    [h=2][edit][/h]
     
  16. Capn Crud

    Capn Crud The Pride of Cucamonga VIP Gold

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  17. Free Food

    Free Food Well-Known Member

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    Better than the following? No way.



    The mountain is high, but it appears larger
    Not wanting to go backwards, I break from my past
    You have just caught me spiriling downwards
    I feel like I’ve made it inside at last.
    The branches are deeper, much fuller, much richer
    My legs are resting like two grains of sand
    With beauty abundant, my soul snaps a picture
    Of this parcel of moistened, well grounded land.
    Zoo Za Zoo Za Zoo Za Zoo
    I love you
    You always said you knew I was gifted
    But you never could figure out just how much
    Cause my body is baffled as my spirit is lifted
    Each time I surrender to your elegant touch.
    Tonight’s the recital for these old, creepy oak trees
    They’re flouncing and flampant in their constant rebuttle
    The squirrel, who listens while waiting on bent knees,
    has inspired the leaves to fall towards a puddle
    Zoo Za Zoo Za Zoo Za Zoo
    I love you
    We’ve evolved the wrong way, how can I go backwards?
    How can I take credit for these things I’ve not named
    Needing another has come to be misused
    And added to the premise I only can blame.
    Zoo Za Zoo Za Zoo Za Zoo
    I love you
    The pulsing ground welcomes this beautiful dream catcher
    The plump snake that sits at the base of my spine
    Is telling my heart that I need not go faster
    That G-d’s making room for His precious friend, Time.
     
  18. Lostronaut

    Lostronaut Well-Known Member

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    You're a Poet
    and didn't know it
     
  19. Chimney Portions

    Chimney Portions I drink cum Banned User

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    Father.
    Farther.
    Farther away than ever. Newly single, but sad.
    Jew single. My dad.
    Not ready to mingle. Mad
    Oh damn you, Jezebel
    You blonde haired fluzy
    The Mossad should murder you
    With Semtex and an Uzi!

    I hope my father gets over you
    And you vanish
    And he stops lusting after my loins
    When I dare speak some Spanish.

    Now please excuse me, dad,
    Stop bothering me, you dolt!
    But keep sending those checks,
    Make them payable to my cult.

    -Emily Stern
     
  20. MutteringJohn

    MutteringJohn Well-Known Member

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    There once was a girl from Nantucket Who crossed the sea in a bucket, And when she got there They asked for a fare So she pulled up her dress and said "FUCK IT"