I feel the text I've written to my latest song is way too dark and disturbing

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by garypagetwo, Nov 5, 2013.

  1. garypagetwo

    garypagetwo Mom Jeans Expert VIP Gold

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    It's about MONK and Dawg and about them being gay but now that its done i think its too gross :/
    I might start over and write more happy lyrics.

    What do you guys think?
     
  2. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP Gold

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    Do you have any friends in real life?
     
  3. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP Gold

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    You seriously write songs about strangers on the internet who think you're a faggot?
     
  4. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP Gold

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    Do you have any idea how fucking sad that is?
     
  5. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP Gold

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    By the way, did you get a job yet?
     
  6. nserafini

    nserafini Well-Known Member

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    Have you heard Schmoopy's thoughts on IED's ?
     
  7. Oderus

    Oderus Going to hell VIP

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    I think you should fuck off.

    [​IMG]
     
  8. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal Message Board Poster VIP

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    I liked the last lyrics about how RH Goatcabin wouldn't have sex with Dawg unless he put on 500 pounds.
     
  9. garypagetwo

    garypagetwo Mom Jeans Expert VIP Gold

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    thank you :jj:
    here's the first verse of the new song. is it too disgusting and dark?

    Here I am
    with a message
    no need here for salutations
    Dawg and MONK are gay lovers
    they like to have sex and pretend that they're brothers
    no one on the board will ever know
    what goes on behind closed doors
    both of them are infested with aids
    They never use condoms when they play




    Dawg likes to get cummed in all places
    but not in his face it gets stuck in his braces
    Monk he likes to take control
    close your eyes let him fill your holl
    he's on a mission for submission dont fight back just assume the position
    everybody needs to know
    the dirty truth behind these two assholes
     
  10. gilaet

    gilaet forum Tommy Jarvis Gold

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    You wrote a song about two dudes gaying off?
     
  11. gilaet

    gilaet forum Tommy Jarvis Gold

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    Is it called Living On A Prayer?
     
  12. Oderus

    Oderus Going to hell VIP

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    :jj:
     
  13. garypagetwo

    garypagetwo Mom Jeans Expert VIP Gold

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    I was going to call it MONK and Dawg are gay but now i might just scrap the whole thing
     
  14. Oderus

    Oderus Going to hell VIP

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    That song is likely the equivalent of chriza's :quote:spaghetti:quote:
     
  15. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP Gold

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    Fuck you Oderus
     
  16. Oderus

    Oderus Going to hell VIP

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    shit, sorry.
     
  17. Oderus

    Oderus Going to hell VIP

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  18. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal Message Board Poster VIP

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    I like it. I like your efforts and I don't think you should give up music. You're young and you should have fun, man.
     
  19. gilaet

    gilaet forum Tommy Jarvis Gold

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    [video=youtube;hmQY5CcgaSc]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmQY5CcgaSc[/video]
     
  20. Iroth

    Iroth мудак

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    You are terrible at writing, and rhyming.