I feel the text I've written to my latest song is way too dark and disturbing

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by garypagetwo, Nov 5, 2013.

  1. garypagetwo

    garypagetwo Adios, farewell, goodbye. Gold

    Reputations:
    116,008
    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2012
    Messages:
    30,869
    Likes Received:
    25,560
    It's about MONK and Dawg and about them being gay but now that its done i think its too gross :/
    I might start over and write more happy lyrics.

    What do you guys think?
     
  2. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP

    Reputations:
    168,260
    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2010
    Messages:
    215,535
    Likes Received:
    105,219
    Do you have any friends in real life?
     
  3. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP

    Reputations:
    168,260
    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2010
    Messages:
    215,535
    Likes Received:
    105,219
    You seriously write songs about strangers on the internet who think you're a faggot?
     
  4. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP

    Reputations:
    168,260
    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2010
    Messages:
    215,535
    Likes Received:
    105,219
    Do you have any idea how fucking sad that is?
     
  5. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP

    Reputations:
    168,260
    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2010
    Messages:
    215,535
    Likes Received:
    105,219
    By the way, did you get a job yet?
     
  6. nserafini

    nserafini Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2010
    Messages:
    5,260
    Likes Received:
    769
    Have you heard Schmoopy's thoughts on IED's ?
     
  7. Oderus

    Oderus Going to hell VIP

    Reputations:
    1,356
    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2012
    Messages:
    55,757
    Likes Received:
    3,821
    I think you should fuck off.

    [​IMG]
     
  8. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    123,286
    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2010
    Messages:
    57,594
    Likes Received:
    34,045
    I liked the last lyrics about how RH Goatcabin wouldn't have sex with Dawg unless he put on 500 pounds.
     
  9. garypagetwo

    garypagetwo Adios, farewell, goodbye. Gold

    Reputations:
    116,008
    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2012
    Messages:
    30,869
    Likes Received:
    25,560
    thank you :jj:
    here's the first verse of the new song. is it too disgusting and dark?

    Here I am
    with a message
    no need here for salutations
    Dawg and MONK are gay lovers
    they like to have sex and pretend that they're brothers
    no one on the board will ever know
    what goes on behind closed doors
    both of them are infested with aids
    They never use condoms when they play




    Dawg likes to get cummed in all places
    but not in his face it gets stuck in his braces
    Monk he likes to take control
    close your eyes let him fill your holl
    he's on a mission for submission dont fight back just assume the position
    everybody needs to know
    the dirty truth behind these two assholes
     
  10. gilaet

    gilaet underwear warrior Staff Member

    Reputations:
    62,361
    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2010
    Messages:
    102,123
    Likes Received:
    38,859
    You wrote a song about two dudes gaying off?
     
  11. gilaet

    gilaet underwear warrior Staff Member

    Reputations:
    62,361
    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2010
    Messages:
    102,123
    Likes Received:
    38,859
    Is it called Living On A Prayer?
     
  12. Oderus

    Oderus Going to hell VIP

    Reputations:
    1,356
    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2012
    Messages:
    55,757
    Likes Received:
    3,821
    :jj:
     
  13. garypagetwo

    garypagetwo Adios, farewell, goodbye. Gold

    Reputations:
    116,008
    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2012
    Messages:
    30,869
    Likes Received:
    25,560
    I was going to call it MONK and Dawg are gay but now i might just scrap the whole thing
     
  14. Oderus

    Oderus Going to hell VIP

    Reputations:
    1,356
    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2012
    Messages:
    55,757
    Likes Received:
    3,821
    That song is likely the equivalent of chriza's :quote:spaghetti:quote:
     
  15. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP

    Reputations:
    168,260
    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2010
    Messages:
    215,535
    Likes Received:
    105,219
    Fuck you Oderus
     
  16. Oderus

    Oderus Going to hell VIP

    Reputations:
    1,356
    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2012
    Messages:
    55,757
    Likes Received:
    3,821
    shit, sorry.
     
  17. Oderus

    Oderus Going to hell VIP

    Reputations:
    1,356
    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2012
    Messages:
    55,757
    Likes Received:
    3,821
  18. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    123,286
    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2010
    Messages:
    57,594
    Likes Received:
    34,045
    I like it. I like your efforts and I don't think you should give up music. You're young and you should have fun, man.
     
  19. gilaet

    gilaet underwear warrior Staff Member

    Reputations:
    62,361
    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2010
    Messages:
    102,123
    Likes Received:
    38,859
    [video=youtube;hmQY5CcgaSc]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmQY5CcgaSc[/video]
     
  20. Iroth

    Iroth мудак VIP

    Reputations:
    20,973
    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2010
    Messages:
    9,212
    Likes Received:
    10,054
    You are terrible at writing, and rhyming.