I Got Pulled Over Today By The Trooper From Hell

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Tigger Please, Sep 15, 2015.

  1. Tigger Please

    Tigger Please VIP Extreme Gold

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    Not even kidding! Sorry that this is long.

    I was sitting in a couple of miles of traffic going to work today. I had to visit about five different stores, around 35 miles from my house.

    There was an accident near a construction zone, so we were all stuck for about 10 or 15 minutes in one spot. I wasn't quite sure how far it was to the exit, and briefly considered rerouting to a different location on my list. I picked up my GPS to figure out where I was. Mind you, at this point no one is moving or going anywhere any time soon.

    All of a sudden I hear maniacal horn blowing and someone yelling. I look over next to me and a guy in an SUV is screaming at me to roll down my window. I thought my car was on fire or something. He is screaming, "You aren't allowed to do that! You need to pull over to do that." I explained I wasn't texting, that I was looking at my GPS. He loudly states that it was "distracted driving" and I needed to pull over to do that.

    Well, this was getting just plain weird and annoying, so I overstated the obvious that no one was driving anywhere anytime soon. I could have sat on the side of the road and looked at my GPS or sat right there; it was all the same.

    Suddenly, he puts on his blue lights (surprise--did not see those at first; this was unmarked) and tells me to pull over to the side! He had on a badge but not a regular uniform, and he asked for my license and registration. I have a rental car this week for my job, so I gave him the contract and my license.

    I asked him why there was a delay, and he said he did not know but was "going to check out the situation."

    He asked me where I was going, and I told him I was working on a project and that Springfield was my first stop. He said, "You don't need a GPS for that, everyone knows Springfield is exit 8." Yes, but my GPS was taking me form exit 7, thanks.

    Then he was angry because I did not know the address off the top of my head and needed to look it up on a clipboard. He berated me and said "How can you not know the address of where you are going?" Then he gave me a lecture about needing a GPS at all--that I should be able to figure things out " like people did before they were invented. "That I should know how to figure it out because I was even older than he was. That I lived in the area for over a year and should know where things are; why didn't I know where things were? What was my excuse? Then he gave verbal instructions on how to get to my location. He pointed out sarcastically that I should know where it was because it was "near Marshalls, and I KNOW you shop there."

    He told me to put the GPS on the windshield. I told him I prefer to not have it up there because I would rather have it next to me so I can listen to it. He then advised mounting it to the glass over the speedometer, etc. Then he said, "No, then you'll just complain that you can't see how fast you were going." He told me I was "lucky" he wasn't giving me a ticket.


    Honestly, this guy was bizarre, and I mean in the sense like that guy that shot those two people on the live newscast. Just weird and irrational. I spoke to a representative of the barracks to confirm the "law" about not handling a GPS while sitting in traffic. Even he was baffled. He said, "No one I know would have pulled you over like that nor spoken to you in that matter. The law strictly applies to texting while driving. If you are sitting in traffic and not moving, we would not want to prevent you from figuring out how to get yourself to work."
     
  2. BleedingGums

    BleedingGums Fesh Fox Faggot VIP

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    Are you a merchandiser?
     
  3. ChuckZ

    ChuckZ You're so pusillanimous, oh yea.

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    Lucky you didn't get a ticket.
     
  4. DrivenByDemons

    DrivenByDemons Spinoff Jesus Staff Member

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    omg I'm not reading that
     
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  5. ChuckZ

    ChuckZ You're so pusillanimous, oh yea.

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    Honestly, I just care about not getting a ticket. Yell at me all you want.
     
  6. Tigger Please

    Tigger Please VIP Extreme Gold

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    Today I was. Not my regular gig but a company I do other work with asked if I would be interested in helping out
     
  7. gwartney

    gwartney Unafilliated Gold

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    Did you get any identification of the officer? You might be doing his supervisor a big favor if you let him know what one of his officers is doing.
     
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  8. Tigger Please

    Tigger Please VIP Extreme Gold

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    There really wasn't a way to make it much shorter without leaving out most of the sheer stupidity
     
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  9. Gitfiddle

    Gitfiddle Live Deliciously

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    Did you show him your boobs anyway?
     
  10. Tigger Please

    Tigger Please VIP Extreme Gold

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    I saw his name on his badge
     
  11. Tigger Please

    Tigger Please VIP Extreme Gold

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    Not to this particular one
     
  12. crazypreacher

    crazypreacher Hey yo

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    Not reading. I adore you tig, but don't be in a hurry in your car.





    :owned:
     
  13. gwartney

    gwartney Unafilliated Gold

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    I'd call the PD and complain. Nothing will probably happen but you'll have the knowledge that you got his ass chewed out.
     
  14. Neesie

    Neesie Princess Parliaments VIP Gold

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    I read like a second, then I stopped because that was a lot of words and I really don't care. :D
     
  15. LonghornJ

    LonghornJ VIP Extreme Gold

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    You could have been killed!







    Seriously...
     
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  16. Tigger Please

    Tigger Please VIP Extreme Gold

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    At 0 MPH I wasn't in a hurry
     
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  17. crazypreacher

    crazypreacher Hey yo

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    Ms. Healthy Bowels weighs in.
     
  18. crazypreacher

    crazypreacher Hey yo

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    Mmmm hmmmm.
     
  19. Tigger Please

    Tigger Please VIP Extreme Gold

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    I think I'm gonna illustrate this with a storyboard and stick figures next time
     
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  20. Neesie

    Neesie Princess Parliaments VIP Gold

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    Keep it to like 3 panels, and there will need to be stick figure tits, of course.