i had an extended encounter with two homeless schizophrenics today

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Harry Gibbs, Jun 21, 2014.

  1. Harry Gibbs

    Harry Gibbs the boss of all men

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    i was on a bike ride this morning and stopped in the park to enjoy the beautiful morning sun and light breeze. this guy was at a bench nearby and started yapping about his bike and told me i should take a look at it.

    the bike was a piece of shit brick of a bike, a mongoose, that he bought at kmart. but he was proud of it, which was cute. he then proceeded to tell me his life story, the story of the bike, show me his bag of tools, tell me about the "schwinn titanium lock" that he bought for $12 but could withstand a .44 gunshot and still not open.

    then his "girlfriend" came up. she was a black lady who he introduced as "roberta." she said, "my name is bobretta." then she said, "i'm from tupelo mississippi. country girl. spent my whole life learning american and it took the country right out of me."

    then when i left my bike computer malfunctioned and my great pace was all fucked up. thanks wayne and bobretta, you homeless turds.
     
  2. Avery

    Avery Well-Known Member Banned User

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    homeless people are the worst
     
  3. artiesoffspring

    artiesoffspring Hugs and kisses

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    Did you take them in and bathe them?
     
  4. Harry Gibbs

    Harry Gibbs the boss of all men

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    i got a be honest. bobretta probably cleaned up pretty good. and wayne was a nice guy. but those two faggit homelessers wouldn't let me leave and all i wanted to do was sit in the quiet and enjoy the morning and ride.

    he told me his mongoose was the best bike made and told me it cost $300, with the kmart warranty. he asked me how much my bike cost and i just told him i didn't remember because i didn't want to make him feel bad.
     
  5. Reggae Mistress

    Reggae Mistress Old Catcher's Mitt

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    Did they compliment you on your smooth skin and excellent hygiene?
     
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  6. Harry Gibbs

    Harry Gibbs the boss of all men

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    no, but wayne, who was in his 50s probably, told me about how he had a 71 year old girlfriend who died last year and he had to put depends on her and carry her to the shitter. she shit all over everything. when she died her five sons didn't want nothing to do with wayne and they kept his chainsaw.

    he said the chainsaw could cut down that covered patio over there if he wanted it to.
     
  7. Harry Gibbs

    Harry Gibbs the boss of all men

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    100% serious: no.

    but bobretta had good teeth. she had garbage bags stuffed with all her belongings and one of them was open. she had a new bar of lever 2000 or lever 5000 soap and her toothbrush there.

    wayne had four packs of winston's. i think they were winston's. they came in red boxes.
     
  8. jdwhatever

    jdwhatever Fesh Gold

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    Do u have a basket and bell on your awesome bicycle.
     
  9. jdwhatever

    jdwhatever Fesh Gold

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    Wayne sounds a little bit like the poster Splash.
     
  10. Harry Gibbs

    Harry Gibbs the boss of all men

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    i'm telling carl!!
     
  11. Lou Loomis

    Lou Loomis Feel the Gern

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    That encounter sounds like a hangout sesh.

    If you smoked weed together, it was def more than an encounter
     
  12. Harry Gibbs

    Harry Gibbs the boss of all men

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    did splash get his ankle run over by a plumber's van in the late 80s?
     
  13. Harry Gibbs

    Harry Gibbs the boss of all men

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    no weed was smoked. but i actually had a decent time talking to those two bums. if i didn't want to hit the trail and move on with my day so badly, i'd have stuck around and chatted for a bit longer.
     
  14. Reggae Mistress

    Reggae Mistress Old Catcher's Mitt

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    Did they tell you they had schizophrenia?
     
  15. Harry Gibbs

    Harry Gibbs the boss of all men

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    it was funny that wayne didn't know his "girlfriend's" name. he introduced her as roberta and she got all mad and said her name was bobretta.
     
  16. Harry Gibbs

    Harry Gibbs the boss of all men

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    no but it was an easy diagnosis to make. circumstantial and tangential thinking; disorganized speech; paranoia; negative symptoms; etc.
     
  17. jdwhatever

    jdwhatever Fesh Gold

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    I do the same thing. I'm always usually probably too nice to people irl so I find myself having meaningless conversations with bums.
     
  18. jdwhatever

    jdwhatever Fesh Gold

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    Is that a yes or a no.
     
  19. Lou Loomis

    Lou Loomis Feel the Gern

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    When I meet people like that or watch a good comedian, I realize I'm a decent public speaker but don't have that gift of talking nonstop like diarrhea pouring out of a butt
     
  20. Reggae Mistress

    Reggae Mistress Old Catcher's Mitt

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    It doesn't always present itself in the same manner. I actually miss working with severe paranoid schizophrenia...most were boarder line brilliant in some way, similar to savants.