i was on a bike ride this morning and stopped in the park to enjoy the beautiful morning sun and light breeze. this guy was at a bench nearby and started yapping about his bike and told me i should take a look at it. the bike was a piece of shit brick of a bike, a mongoose, that he bought at kmart. but he was proud of it, which was cute. he then proceeded to tell me his life story, the story of the bike, show me his bag of tools, tell me about the "schwinn titanium lock" that he bought for $12 but could withstand a .44 gunshot and still not open. then his "girlfriend" came up. she was a black lady who he introduced as "roberta." she said, "my name is bobretta." then she said, "i'm from tupelo mississippi. country girl. spent my whole life learning american and it took the country right out of me." then when i left my bike computer malfunctioned and my great pace was all fucked up. thanks wayne and bobretta, you homeless turds.