I just got home from the bar and something is wrong with me

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Mark Mayonnaise, Nov 2, 2015.

  1. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP

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    I'm taking my second shit in like 15 minutes. I have eaten barely anything today but my poos smell fucking atrocious and refuse to waft away.

    Twice today I've gotten weird, but intense pains in my ribs, like I pulled a muscle, but then my whole right arm goes numb. It only happens when I drive.

    On the plus side, the Blazers won, and I won in my fantasy league

    If I die tonight, please give my post count to Kanye West
     
  2. Danas Boyfrien

    Danas Boyfrien Trump's African American Gold

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    Maybe you're pregnant.
     
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  3. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP

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    Please, I haven't let a guy fuck me in like weeks
     
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  4. DarkFriday

    DarkFriday Fired as a MOD...Twice. Gold

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    @Chriza
    Patient 0.
    Monkey Pox 2015 pandemic.
    Nice going dum dum.

    :chimp:
     
  5. Mack

    Mack Well-Known Member VIP

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    Web MD says colon cancer.
     
  6. JameGumb

    JameGumb We're all out of toner!

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    Perhaps your insides are begging you to stop shoving greasy garbage down your gullet? :dontknow:
     
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  7. JameGumb

    JameGumb We're all out of toner!

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    You cant get pregnant from eating cum. My mom told me that.
     
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  8. DarkFriday

    DarkFriday Fired as a MOD...Twice. Gold

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    I had a double western bacon cheeseburger with no bbq sauce for lunch.
    It was a damn fine burger.
     
  9. DarkFriday

    DarkFriday Fired as a MOD...Twice. Gold

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    She told me the same thing.
     
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  10. MrPPV

    MrPPV The Shed Stopper

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    Maybe the new chick gave you something
     
  11. JameGumb

    JameGumb We're all out of toner!

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    I had a turkey sub and I'm lying to myself that I ate healthy.
     
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  12. JameGumb

    JameGumb We're all out of toner!

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    Go away
     
  13. Danas Boyfrien

    Danas Boyfrien Trump's African American Gold

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    I had a double western bacon cheeseburger for dinner. But I got mine with BBQ sauce because I'm not a homo.
     
  14. MrPPV

    MrPPV The Shed Stopper

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    Go make another shit thread that nobody will post in, bitch!
     
  15. DarkFriday

    DarkFriday Fired as a MOD...Twice. Gold

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    I'll have a kale smoothie after cardio tomorrow then sushi on Wednesday.
    I refuse to stop eating beef.
     
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  16. DarkFriday

    DarkFriday Fired as a MOD...Twice. Gold

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    :oops:
     
  17. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP

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    Oh wow that sounds delicious

    I'll follow your example and get a Big Mac with no Big Mac sauce

    I'm sure that'll make it better
     
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  18. DrivenByDemons

    DrivenByDemons Spinoff Jesus Staff Member

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    Hop in the car and drive. You'll feel better
     
  19. JameGumb

    JameGumb We're all out of toner!

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    How the fuck can you stomach sushi?
     
  20. DarkFriday

    DarkFriday Fired as a MOD...Twice. Gold

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    Piss off.
    I hope ur stomach got the AIDS :fil:
     
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