I love jolly ranchers

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Gomez, Jul 4, 2015.

  1. Gomez

    Gomez Well-Known Member

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    esp the cherry ones

    [​IMG]
     
  2. Neesie

    Neesie Princess Parliaments VIP Gold

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    Watermelon FTW
     
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  3. crazypreacher

    crazypreacher Maker of Lists Gold

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    This guy agrees.

    [​IMG]
     
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  4. gwartney

    gwartney Is there gas in the car?

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    This.
     
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  5. Anfkid

    Anfkid Blue Banner Mafia Staff Member

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    Haven't had those since I was a kid. Loved Big League Chew and Tangy Taffy grape.
     
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  6. Danas Boyfrien

    Danas Boyfrien Mediocre Negro Gold

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    The apple ones literally give me wood. They need to start making the sticks again. :fil:
     
  7. Anfkid

    Anfkid Blue Banner Mafia Staff Member

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    This is prolly the best place on the planet to get candy you haven't seen in decades. I got my professor a 60's basket when I graduated.
    http://www.oldtimecandy.com/
     
  8. gwartney

    gwartney Is there gas in the car?

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    Cracker Barrel restaurants carry a lot of old time candy.
     
  9. crazypreacher

    crazypreacher Maker of Lists Gold

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    I bought a box of strawberry jolly rancher jello. Tastes the same as strawberry jello.
     
  10. gwartney

    gwartney Is there gas in the car?

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    There are jolly rancher Jelly Beans. They are really good.
     
  11. Anfkid

    Anfkid Blue Banner Mafia Staff Member

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    Never been to one. :dontknow:
     
  12. Capn Crud

    Capn Crud Needs a beer VIP Gold

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    Green Apple FTW

    Does anybody even eat the purple ones?
     
  13. Bro

    Bro Corporate Fascist VIP Gold

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    I throw the purple ones away or give them away. Harrible
     
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  14. Bubbleguts420

    Bubbleguts420 2 word review, shit sandwich

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    They just opened (or are about to open) an old fashioned candy store in Deep Ellum.
     
  15. Neesie

    Neesie Princess Parliaments VIP Gold

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    Deep Ellum kinda sounds like a technical term for part of your colon. :c
     
  16. DrivenByDemons

    DrivenByDemons Spinoff Jesus Staff Member

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    Steve and his girlfriend Samantha went off to college in August. She went to Florida State, he went to Penn. So, she decides to fly to PA to visit him. He was really happy to see her so he decided to give her some oral action.

    He had done this numerous times before and he always enjoyed doing it...but for some reason, this time, she smelled really horrible, and she tasted even worse. He didn't want to offend her though because he hadn't seen her in months...so he put a Jolly Rancher in his mouth to cover it up, even though it didn't do much to help.

    In the course of eating her out, he accidentally pushed the candy inside of her... and stuck a finger in to grab it out. He took it out, and put it back into his mouth and bit it. Only...it wasn't the Jolly Rancher.

    It was a nodule of gonorrhea.

    As in, the blister-like structure that gonorrhea makes filled with diseased pus was the size of a fucking Jolly Rancher and the poor guy BIT it. I guess it was really dark in the room. He freaked out and started vomiting all over the place when it exploded in his mouth...

    He demanded to know what was going on, turns out she had cheated on him at a club like, the first week of college, and fucked some random guy and the stupid bitch had no clue what was wrong with her. She noticed a strange smell though.

    So now, Steve is freaking out that he now has gonorrhea of the mouth and God knows what else.
     
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  17. Capn Crud

    Capn Crud Needs a beer VIP Gold

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    Purple ones do that to me minus the mouth gonorrhea
     
  18. Orgy Pants

    Orgy Pants teklife

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    jolly rancher vodka is pretty solid.
     
  19. Bubbleguts420

    Bubbleguts420 2 word review, shit sandwich

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    :woowoo:
     
  20. Bro

    Bro Corporate Fascist VIP Gold

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    God dammit, I'm eating. :confused: