I need good thoughts/positive vibes for my anus

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Dave, Sep 17, 2012.

  1. Dave

    Dave VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    4,047
    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2012
    Messages:
    3,615
    Likes Received:
    604
    So I find out I'm unexpectedly working late tonight right? No problem, head down to the 7-11 for the usual standard Grilled Ceaser Chicken Wrap and a water for dinner. 20 minutes after eating this apparent abomination, I'm in the crapper and while I don't want to get too descriptive, it was like my asshole was throwing up. There's this liquid coming out of me (I did detect some solid chunks but not many), but then it would stop, see? Then I think "OK, go for the TP it's over" then BLAMMO, it's off to the races again. This happened like maybe 5 times. It was like vomiting but out the other end. For a moment there it actually burned and I could here Dominic in my head "mayday mayday, I'm on fire! I'm on fire!" But really, I could have easily put out a small fire with my ass a moment ago.

    Sweet Jesus, if any of you want to send out some good vibes to my asshole, I sure could use them right now.
     
  2. Daveindiego

    Daveindiego Confirmed Internet Legend Banned User

    Reputations:
    124,302
    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2010
    Messages:
    87,609
    Likes Received:
    44,013
    Oh, u fucked. :c
     
  3. Daveindiego

    Daveindiego Confirmed Internet Legend Banned User

    Reputations:
    124,302
    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2010
    Messages:
    87,609
    Likes Received:
    44,013
    Are you doing this?

    [​IMG]
     
  4. Napoleon V2

    Napoleon V2 New Member Banned User

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2010
    Messages:
    15,796
    Likes Received:
    9
    Your b-hole is in my thoughts and prayers.
     
  5. MatthewT

    MatthewT Awaiting The Rapture VIP

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2011
    Messages:
    63,470
    Likes Received:
    9
    sounds like day after mexican food day :dontknow:
     
  6. Dave

    Dave VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    4,047
    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2012
    Messages:
    3,615
    Likes Received:
    604
    I don't know, I'm pretty sure it was straight water somehow.

    :pray: Thanks
     
  7. wetback

    wetback #1 Asshole VIP

    Reputations:
    430
    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2011
    Messages:
    43,070
    Likes Received:
    4,531
    grilled chicken from 7-11? :barf:
     
  8. BudBudha

    BudBudha Male Underwear Model

    Reputations:
    184
    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2012
    Messages:
    8,291
    Likes Received:
    16
    I'm shocked the usual standard Grilled Ceaser Chicken Wrap from 7-11 would cause such a colon blow, shocked i tell you!
     
  9. dawg

    dawg In The Dog House Staff Member

    Reputations:
    201,313
    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2010
    Messages:
    150,466
    Likes Received:
    142,525
    Holy shit you are brave. You have to expect this from eating slop at 7-eleven.

    you ever see those nasty hot dogs they have sitting out? :puke:

    You cant get a healthy sandwich instead from a deli?
     
  10. Daveindiego

    Daveindiego Confirmed Internet Legend Banned User

    Reputations:
    124,302
    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2010
    Messages:
    87,609
    Likes Received:
    44,013
    Hate to break it to you, boss.

    Food poisoning doesn't come on in 15 minutes, that shit needs to fester for like 18 to 24 hours to get truly ripe.

    You married, ABC? Did your wife poison you last night? You should pick up a bag of oranges on your way home tonight.
     
  11. Dave

    Dave VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    4,047
    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2012
    Messages:
    3,615
    Likes Received:
    604
    Nonono, I've had this before. This was my go-to thing when I have to work late, it's made my an outside company, not by the store.
     
  12. Dave

    Dave VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    4,047
    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2012
    Messages:
    3,615
    Likes Received:
    604
    This is an industrial area, the Deli's do breakfast and lunch, then they close down in the afternoon.
     
  13. Ridic Too2

    Ridic Too2 New Member Banned User

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    6,217
    Likes Received:
    1
    :jj:

    Hope you feel better man.
     
  14. Dave

    Dave VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    4,047
    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2012
    Messages:
    3,615
    Likes Received:
    604
    Thanks, mild headache and a slight chill. Just have to sleep this off and I'll be right as rain tomorrow.
     
  15. keywordpk

    keywordpk Perpetual Geek Gold

    Reputations:
    693
    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2010
    Messages:
    35,586
    Likes Received:
    3,816
  16. JJR

    JJR New Member

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2012
    Messages:
    7,081
    Likes Received:
    0
  17. beetlejosh

    beetlejosh Naw man, I don't eat dragon. Gold

    Reputations:
    150,192
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    35,984
    Likes Received:
    40,689
    Tim Sabean's home movies? How'd you get a hold of that?
     
  18. RH Goatcabin

    RH Goatcabin One Man Four Banner Mafia 2010 OG POTY The Bar VIP Gold

    Reputations:
    51,687
    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2010
    Messages:
    117,054
    Likes Received:
    44,909
    These are brutal times. My best to your throbbing asshole. Having to unleash a brutal war crime at work is psychologically scarring.
     
  19. Daveindiego

    Daveindiego Confirmed Internet Legend Banned User

    Reputations:
    124,302
    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2010
    Messages:
    87,609
    Likes Received:
    44,013
    You are really doing this wrong.

    If I get explosive shit AT work, I'm definitely getting 2 to 3 days off. I am NOT going to stick around to get a few more hours of work done.
     
  20. Popeye Saavedra

    Popeye Saavedra Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2012
    Messages:
    37,706
    Likes Received:
    2,135
    This thread is pointless without pics.