I need good thoughts/positive vibes for my anus

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Dave, Sep 17, 2012.

  1. Dave

    Dave Well-Known Member

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    So I find out I'm unexpectedly working late tonight right? No problem, head down to the 7-11 for the usual standard Grilled Ceaser Chicken Wrap and a water for dinner. 20 minutes after eating this apparent abomination, I'm in the crapper and while I don't want to get too descriptive, it was like my asshole was throwing up. There's this liquid coming out of me (I did detect some solid chunks but not many), but then it would stop, see? Then I think "OK, go for the TP it's over" then BLAMMO, it's off to the races again. This happened like maybe 5 times. It was like vomiting but out the other end. For a moment there it actually burned and I could here Dominic in my head "mayday mayday, I'm on fire! I'm on fire!" But really, I could have easily put out a small fire with my ass a moment ago.

    Sweet Jesus, if any of you want to send out some good vibes to my asshole, I sure could use them right now.
     
  2. Daveindiego

    Daveindiego Confirmed Internet Legend Banned User

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    Oh, u fucked. :c
     
  3. Daveindiego

    Daveindiego Confirmed Internet Legend Banned User

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    Are you doing this?

    [​IMG]
     
  4. Napoleon V2

    Napoleon V2 New Member Banned User

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    Your b-hole is in my thoughts and prayers.
     
  5. MatthewT

    MatthewT Awaiting The Rapture VIP

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    sounds like day after mexican food day :dontknow:
     
  6. Dave

    Dave Well-Known Member

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    I don't know, I'm pretty sure it was straight water somehow.

    :pray: Thanks
     
  7. wetback

    wetback #1 Asshole VIP

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    grilled chicken from 7-11? :barf:
     
  8. BudBudha

    BudBudha Male Underwear Model

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    I'm shocked the usual standard Grilled Ceaser Chicken Wrap from 7-11 would cause such a colon blow, shocked i tell you!
     
  9. dawg

    dawg In The Dog House Staff Member

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    Holy shit you are brave. You have to expect this from eating slop at 7-eleven.

    you ever see those nasty hot dogs they have sitting out? :puke:

    You cant get a healthy sandwich instead from a deli?
     
  10. Daveindiego

    Daveindiego Confirmed Internet Legend Banned User

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    Hate to break it to you, boss.

    Food poisoning doesn't come on in 15 minutes, that shit needs to fester for like 18 to 24 hours to get truly ripe.

    You married, ABC? Did your wife poison you last night? You should pick up a bag of oranges on your way home tonight.
     
  11. Dave

    Dave Well-Known Member

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    Nonono, I've had this before. This was my go-to thing when I have to work late, it's made my an outside company, not by the store.
     
  12. Dave

    Dave Well-Known Member

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    This is an industrial area, the Deli's do breakfast and lunch, then they close down in the afternoon.
     
  13. Ridic Too2

    Ridic Too2 New Member Banned User

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    :jj:

    Hope you feel better man.
     
  14. Dave

    Dave Well-Known Member

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    Thanks, mild headache and a slight chill. Just have to sleep this off and I'll be right as rain tomorrow.
     
  15. keywordpk

    keywordpk Perpetual Geek Gold

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  16. JJR

    JJR New Member

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  17. beetlejosh

    beetlejosh Do I look like I'm not stupid, Sal?! Gold

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    Tim Sabean's home movies? How'd you get a hold of that?
     
  18. RH Goatcabin

    RH Goatcabin Old Sea Captain VIP

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    These are brutal times. My best to your throbbing asshole. Having to unleash a brutal war crime at work is psychologically scarring.
     
  19. Daveindiego

    Daveindiego Confirmed Internet Legend Banned User

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    You are really doing this wrong.

    If I get explosive shit AT work, I'm definitely getting 2 to 3 days off. I am NOT going to stick around to get a few more hours of work done.
     
  20. Popeye Saavedra

    Popeye Saavedra Well-Known Member

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    This thread is pointless without pics.