WTF I need some advice from homeowners here, please

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Neesie, May 2, 2016.

  1. Neesie

    Neesie Princess Parliaments VIP Gold

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    Yes, this is my first thread in here.

    Can we please dispense with all the "GFYS", "Who the fuck is this faggit", and whatever else you're gonna say and stick to the topic at hand? Thanks :hat:

    ANYHOO...

    I have neighbors that just moved in next door to me about a month or so ago. Last weekend, I was out in my back yard cleaning things up, pulling dandelions, checking on things I planted last year, when the wife next door came out and greeted me. We introduced ourselves and chatted for a while. Then she starts talking about work they're planning to have done on their place. Mostly having pretty much ALL of the trees on their lot cut down. She not so subtly mentions how a tree on my property "looks dead" (It's NOT dead. It's Spring, and the thing is producing leaves like nobody's business. The tree is FINE). She says something to the effect of "Well, since the tree guys are going to be here anyway, I could send them over to talk to you. If you say yes, it's fine, and if you say no, that's fine too." With a look on her face that tells me she won't take no for an answer.

    So I look at her like this :surprised: and we exchange a few more uncomfortable pleasantries and she goes away.

    I think I dodged a bullet. Until...
     
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  2. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP

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  3. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal Oh, that's a nice headlock, sir. VIP

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    You faggot
     
  4. WillyBest

    WillyBest Achiever Gold

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    Who the fuck is this faggit?
     
  5. Daveindiego

    Daveindiego Confirmed Internet Legend Gold

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    GFYS.


    And you're fucked. You shouldn't have never made eye contact, let alone talk to, your new neighbors.
     
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  6. Joe Bauers

    Joe Bauers Well-Known Member

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    Fuck Her, Don't get involved with your Neighbors.
     
  7. WillyBest

    WillyBest Achiever Gold

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    What's your question?
     
  8. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal Oh, that's a nice headlock, sir. VIP

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    How should she cut down her tree
     
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  9. R.P. McMurphy

    R.P. McMurphy Well-Known Member

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    ...meh. let her do what she wants to her house and if you need a tree cut down you can arrange that for yourself too.
     
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  10. Neesie

    Neesie Princess Parliaments VIP Gold

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    Today when I came home for lunch, I saw that the tree guys were next door. I made a beeline for the house, had my lunch, and went back to work without anyone approaching me. I figured she got the hint, and the whole thing was over.

    So tonight I'm outside spreading mulch in the front yard and the husband comes out and approaches me.

    FUCK...
     
  11. Scotty4x4

    Scotty4x4 Light It Up Blue!! Staff Member

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    Offer her a sandwich, she will forget about all those dead trees, she may even give you a courtesy call the next time your basement light is left on.
     
  12. WillyBest

    WillyBest Achiever Gold

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    If the question is about the tree, it's on your property so she can fuck off. She can legally trim the branches that go over her property, but if she kills your tree, you can sue her.
     
  13. Bro

    Bro Oligarchical Corporatocracy VIP Gold

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    [​IMG]
     
    Horse Be Gone and GIRLY like this.
  14. Kool

    Kool Well-Known Member

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    Always maintain a healthy relationship with your neighbors
     
  15. Mack

    Mack Well-Known Member

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    Tell her the tree was planted by your grandmother and it has tremendous sentimental value. Hopefully you can muster some tears for dramatic effect.
     
  16. Wangold

    Wangold Well-Known Member

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    Did you find out if they are swingers?
     
  17. LawyerLarry

    LawyerLarry Mr. Fuckmoney in the Bank VIP

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    Sounds like the neighbors have got you over a barrel and you don't have a leg to stand on. You're gonna have to remove the tree and pay them thousands of dollars.
     
  18. Bro

    Bro Oligarchical Corporatocracy VIP Gold

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  19. Captain

    Captain Alto, Blanco y Guapo Gold

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    Soak your tree in gasoline. Light match. Everyone is happy.
     
  20. Mack

    Mack Well-Known Member

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    Too much sauce and the lettuce looks hot and gross.