I propose a new federal law

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by gwartney, Dec 21, 2011.

  1. gwartney

    gwartney Unafilliated Gold

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    Henceforth, All stoplights will be required to have a "brain" that will detect:

    1. If cars are sitting at the red light and no car goes through the green for 10 seconds, the light will change.
    2. The Turn only light will not come on unless a car is sitting in the turn lane. It will change back to red if no car goes through for 10 seconds.
    3. Lights will be able to monitor traffic flow so during rush hour, the lanes that have more cars traveling in them will stay green longer.
    4. When there is a train blocking access in one direction, the other directions will stop cycling and remain green.
    5. The length of the yellow light will be determined by the speed and frequency of cars going through the intersection.
    6. On non-main streets, after 10:00 PM, lights will start blinking red if traffic decreases to a certain point.

    We have the technology to do this. I'll be lenient and allow existing stoplights 90 days to get retrofitted.

    I spend more time sitting at red lights with no cars going through the other direction. I'm going to start running red lights and if I get a ticket claim it as an act of civil disobedience.
     
  2. Gomez

    Gomez Well-Known Member

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    the redneck town I live in has cameras on top of the traffic lights, no can run..
     
  3. Gas Face

    Gas Face Well-Known Member

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    Vans or trucks shouldn't be able to park on corners.:hat:
     
  4. DrivenByDemons

    DrivenByDemons Spinoff Jesus Staff Member

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    Don't we already have most of these requests???
     
  5. gwartney

    gwartney Unafilliated Gold

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    In DFW, there doesn't seem to be any sync with other lights or monitoring. They just put two lights on a road I take almost every day at intersections that feed into neighborhoods. I've sat and looked at empty lanes into the neighborhoods every time I've hit red at these two. At major intersections, the turn lights come on whether there is a car waiting or not.
     
  6. HeinousMark

    HeinousMark Creepy-Ass Cracka VIP

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    I used to curse that shit in Dallas, too. Also, the lights should be timed so that driving near the speed limit, on a major thoroughfare, you pass through the lights, not stop at every fucking one...
     
  7. DrivenByDemons

    DrivenByDemons Spinoff Jesus Staff Member

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    No shit? We have wire loops that they embed in the asphalt of each lane and track cars/traffic. Everything you request we already have.
     
  8. banksy

    banksy You wrote "I love you" in lipstick on the mirror VIP

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    doesn't seem to be an issue here in Houston. but we got lotsa beaners... :D
     
  9. SIPAWITZ

    SIPAWITZ Bialy Whore Banned User

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    i second this 100%
     
  10. Ano

    Ano Dawg Supporter

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  11. k4D3t

    k4D3t Reverse Apache Master VIP

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    I wish they all worked like that, but there are an estimated 300,000 signaled intersections in the U.S. -- who is going to pay for all the upgrades? :dontknow:
     
  12. gwartney

    gwartney Unafilliated Gold

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    To punish them for inconveniencing us, each elected official will be assessed a fee based on the number of lights in their area and their ability to pay.
     
  13. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter

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  14. k4D3t

    k4D3t Reverse Apache Master VIP

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    probably a good idea since they are all getting rich off insider information anyway
     
  15. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter

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    gold_dog_penis.jpg :cwl:
     
  16. Ridic Too2

    Ridic Too2 New Member Banned User

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    I just alerted on Schmoopy again for MORE beastiality
     
  17. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter

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  18. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter

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    Bestiality :facepalm:
     
  19. k4D3t

    k4D3t Reverse Apache Master VIP

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    [​IMG]

    :jj:
     
  20. hockeygrl

    hockeygrl Cancer hand Gold

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    Schmoopy- knock it off with the dog penis pics. Though you obviously enjoy looking at them, others here do not. Quit posting them.