WTF I psyched myself out of a nut

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by kingship, Jan 9, 2016.

  1. kingship

    kingship Well-Known Member

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    Early Friday afternoon, I realized that I was horny and just wanted to fuck. I sent the wife a dick pic w/ a message that I was using her that night as a fuck toy. It's a game we play where I talk to her like a whore and she asks permission to do things. Stuff like that.

    With two young kids, it's difficult to just throw down and fuck. With that, there were a few hours while the kids were still awake where we messed around while they were watching cartoons or playing. I'd suck on her tits for a minute. She'd give me head for a few minutes while the kids were brushing their teeth.

    Long story short, 90 minutes of fucking and sucking and I could not bust a nut. I was hard as a rock and the wife was happy, but I failed to launch the baby batter.

    The last time this happened, I had my depression meds changed. Tonight, I've got no excuse. We're going to try again tomorrow night in a semi-public place, as it's always been a fantasy of mine.

    Have any other guys had a similar issue where the equipment was working, but you couldn't close the deal? I'm 40, so I'm wondering if I might have a prostate issue.

    Please don't make a mockery of this.
     
  2. Mr. Potato Head

    Mr. Potato Head ~Would Like to Play~ Gold

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    Not unless I was really hammered. :wino:
     
  3. Captain

    Captain Alto, Blanco y Guapo

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    Mockery of what?


    You are in the right place, at the right time of night, for personal medical questions here on the HSS board. I always know the informed and loving arms of the posters in DawgShed await me after midnight on Fridays in the dead of winter.
     
  4. kingship

    kingship Well-Known Member

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    And that's why I like the Captain. He GETS it.
     
  5. max rockatansky

    max rockatansky I'm just here for the gasoline Gold

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    It randomly happens. Quit worrying yourself about it before you cause yourself to do it again. I had a day like that with an old girlfriend. I made the most out of it when I knew nothing was going to get me to come. I told her that there was nothing she could do to get me that excited. She took the bait and took it as a challenge. I wore out her asshole before she finally admitted defeat.
     
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  6. FishySausage

    FishySausage Original Nuttah VIP

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    90 mins of fucking???
    Damn
     
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  7. SouthernListen

    SouthernListen New phone who dis? VIP

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    Don't sweat it, she can't make me cum either.
     
  8. HigherPrimate

    HigherPrimate Well-Known Member VIP

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    Meds can do that. Xanax....too much Alcohol. No big deal. She had fun and let her know you had fun too. You'll drop off a bigger present when your ready.
     
  9. wife is a whore

    wife is a whore Tard News Team VIP

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    I've had that happen while on meth. Fucking bareback for 4-5hrs and no load. 2 hr nap later, it took about 5 tugs in the shower to nut all over my hand. Sometimes ya just lock up.
     
  10. Tranquil

    Tranquil Decent! VIP

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    My little friend can't get enough nuts in his mouth, I think he has a problem.
     
  11. XXXXX

    XXXXX Well-Known Member

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  12. IPrankNoOneElse

    IPrankNoOneElse Well-Known Member

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    I came inside my girlfriend earlier tonight if it makes you feel any better.
     
  13. wigtropolis

    wigtropolis Well-Known Member

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    you get the blue balls from this
     
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  14. lovetalkradio

    lovetalkradio Well-Known Member Banned User

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    Take beta prostate. You will thank me down the road. Do not want to end up
    Howig's wet dick problem. And I loved your radio wkly podcast of the show.
    Good voice too.
     
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  15. Shithead

    Shithead Well-Known Member

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    Was anal involved?...After 2 kids maybe you need something grippier
     
  16. SlinkyNeckStern

    SlinkyNeckStern Well-Known Member

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    When you feel like you've had enough just pull out a picture of Beth and within five seconds you'll be done. And your wife will totally understand.


    Beth isn't just for jerking off on the subway, kids. She can be used in the home as well. That's my advice.

    But I also have some advice from a far more powerful man;

    [​IMG]


    "Just imagine a big black cock going into your wife and you'll cum in no time. And it's totally not gay or deranged to think of that."
     
    Last edited: Jan 9, 2016
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  17. Ta Ta Toothy

    Ta Ta Toothy Well-Known Member

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    What are you bitchin' about? You had a good 90 minute session with the Mrs, she was satisfied, so where's the problem? Wouldn't it have been worse if you only lasted 90 seconds? Next time, just fake an orgasm when you've had enough. Women do it all the time.
     
  18. Calloused Shins

    Calloused Shins Well-Known Member

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    Married. 2 childrens. Time to get some strange.
     
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  19. Smartguy

    Smartguy This Space Is For Rent VIP

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    Have her check your prostate. Seriously.
     
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  20. HypocriteHowie

    HypocriteHowie Well-Known Member

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    I look forward to seeing what your wife looks like when the security camera footage is released.