WTF I psyched myself out of a nut

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by kingship, Jan 9, 2016.

  1. kingship

    kingship Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2014
    Messages:
    2,458
    Likes Received:
    6,776
    Early Friday afternoon, I realized that I was horny and just wanted to fuck. I sent the wife a dick pic w/ a message that I was using her that night as a fuck toy. It's a game we play where I talk to her like a whore and she asks permission to do things. Stuff like that.

    With two young kids, it's difficult to just throw down and fuck. With that, there were a few hours while the kids were still awake where we messed around while they were watching cartoons or playing. I'd suck on her tits for a minute. She'd give me head for a few minutes while the kids were brushing their teeth.

    Long story short, 90 minutes of fucking and sucking and I could not bust a nut. I was hard as a rock and the wife was happy, but I failed to launch the baby batter.

    The last time this happened, I had my depression meds changed. Tonight, I've got no excuse. We're going to try again tomorrow night in a semi-public place, as it's always been a fantasy of mine.

    Have any other guys had a similar issue where the equipment was working, but you couldn't close the deal? I'm 40, so I'm wondering if I might have a prostate issue.

    Please don't make a mockery of this.
     
  2. Mr. Potato Head

    Mr. Potato Head ~Would Like to Play~ Gold

    Reputations:
    9,715
    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2010
    Messages:
    69,692
    Likes Received:
    24,803
    Not unless I was really hammered. :wino:
     
  3. Captain

    Captain Alto, Blanco y Guapo Gold

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2013
    Messages:
    6,330
    Likes Received:
    11,914

    Mockery of what?


    You are in the right place, at the right time of night, for personal medical questions here on the HSS board. I always know the informed and loving arms of the posters in DawgShed await me after midnight on Fridays in the dead of winter.
     
  4. kingship

    kingship Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2014
    Messages:
    2,458
    Likes Received:
    6,776
    And that's why I like the Captain. He GETS it.
     
  5. max rockatansky

    max rockatansky I'm just here for the gasoline Gold

    Reputations:
    19,027
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2012
    Messages:
    4,086
    Likes Received:
    10,809
    It randomly happens. Quit worrying yourself about it before you cause yourself to do it again. I had a day like that with an old girlfriend. I made the most out of it when I knew nothing was going to get me to come. I told her that there was nothing she could do to get me that excited. She took the bait and took it as a challenge. I wore out her asshole before she finally admitted defeat.
     
    Super Dave, Chrisboom, rogmar and 8 others like this.
  6. FishySausage

    FishySausage Original Nuttah VIP Gold

    Reputations:
    6,171
    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2010
    Messages:
    14,813
    Likes Received:
    25,792
    90 mins of fucking???
    Damn
     
    TeeDonkey and Zach like this.
  7. SouthernListen

    SouthernListen I don't follow the crowd. Sorry about that. VIP

    Reputations:
    14,794
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    40,981
    Likes Received:
    42,347
    Don't sweat it, she can't make me cum either.
     
  8. HigherPrimate

    HigherPrimate Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    12,018
    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2014
    Messages:
    1,821
    Likes Received:
    3,520
    Meds can do that. Xanax....too much Alcohol. No big deal. She had fun and let her know you had fun too. You'll drop off a bigger present when your ready.
     
  9. wife is a whore

    wife is a whore Stripped of POTY for butthurting staff VIP

    Reputations:
    17,394
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2012
    Messages:
    48,598
    Likes Received:
    85,171
    I've had that happen while on meth. Fucking bareback for 4-5hrs and no load. 2 hr nap later, it took about 5 tugs in the shower to nut all over my hand. Sometimes ya just lock up.
     
  10. Tranquil

    Tranquil Decent! VIP

    Reputations:
    3,673
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2012
    Messages:
    12,233
    Likes Received:
    8,416
    My little friend can't get enough nuts in his mouth, I think he has a problem.
     
  11. XXXXX

    XXXXX Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    171
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2014
    Messages:
    4,216
    Likes Received:
    12,302
  12. IPrankNoOneElse

    IPrankNoOneElse Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    30
    Joined:
    Dec 24, 2012
    Messages:
    909
    Likes Received:
    932
    I came inside my girlfriend earlier tonight if it makes you feel any better.
     
  13. wigtropolis

    wigtropolis Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    1,047
    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2012
    Messages:
    19,828
    Likes Received:
    11,024
    you get the blue balls from this
     
    Zach likes this.
  14. lovetalkradio

    lovetalkradio Well-Known Member Banned User

    Reputations:
    9,892
    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2014
    Messages:
    8,800
    Likes Received:
    9,225
    Take beta prostate. You will thank me down the road. Do not want to end up
    Howig's wet dick problem. And I loved your radio wkly podcast of the show.
    Good voice too.
     
    kingship likes this.
  15. Shithead

    Shithead Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    5,463
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    14,579
    Likes Received:
    24,912
    Was anal involved?...After 2 kids maybe you need something grippier
     
  16. SlinkyNeckStern

    SlinkyNeckStern High Pitch Mike Lookalike

    Reputations:
    6,114
    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2014
    Messages:
    8,100
    Likes Received:
    29,791
    When you feel like you've had enough just pull out a picture of Beth and within five seconds you'll be done. And your wife will totally understand.


    Beth isn't just for jerking off on the subway, kids. She can be used in the home as well. That's my advice.

    But I also have some advice from a far more powerful man;

    [​IMG]


    "Just imagine a big black cock going into your wife and you'll cum in no time. And it's totally not gay or deranged to think of that."
     
    Last edited: Jan 9, 2016
    Zarathustra, Jayla, kingship and 4 others like this.
  17. Ta Ta Toothy

    Ta Ta Toothy Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    1,065
    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2014
    Messages:
    3,348
    Likes Received:
    11,752
    What are you bitchin' about? You had a good 90 minute session with the Mrs, she was satisfied, so where's the problem? Wouldn't it have been worse if you only lasted 90 seconds? Next time, just fake an orgasm when you've had enough. Women do it all the time.
     
  18. Calloused Shins

    Calloused Shins Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    5,804
    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2014
    Messages:
    7,525
    Likes Received:
    12,727
    Married. 2 childrens. Time to get some strange.
     
    rogmar, kingship, Vagineer and 2 others like this.
  19. Smartguy

    Smartguy This Space Is For Rent VIP

    Reputations:
    461
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2012
    Messages:
    2,338
    Likes Received:
    3,197
    Have her check your prostate. Seriously.
     
    Vagineer likes this.
  20. HypocriteHowie

    HypocriteHowie VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    1,908
    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2012
    Messages:
    4,893
    Likes Received:
    14,938
    I look forward to seeing what your wife looks like when the security camera footage is released.