I want to fuck with my neighbor ------ What do you think?

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by gwartney, Sep 30, 2012.

  1. gwartney

    gwartney Unafilliated Gold

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    I have this old guy living next door to me that is a real pain in the ass. Here are some of his quirks:

    - Told me the the divorced lady across the street and his two daughters were running a prostitution ring out of the house. They met their clients at the Whataburger a few miles away.
    - Has pointed out numerous homes in the neighborhood as being owned by homosexuals.
    - Single handedly harassed the city until they put speed bumps on our street.
    - Has called the FAA several times to report airplanes flying low over our neighborhood.
    - Turned in one neighbor to the city because he was having a wall built in his garage and didn't have a work permit. Got work stopped for about two weeks.
    - Told me that the neighbor across the street from him (a teacher) has pool parties with all of her other teacher friends and they smoke pot.
    - Knows every cancer victim, bank repossession, marital separation etc. for miles around.
    - One of my roof vents has a dent in it from a hail storm and he mentions it to me about once a month.
    Oh, I forgot to mention. He moved out of his last neighborhood because too many blacks moved in.

    As you might guess, this guy leans so far to the right, he almost falls over. He also thinks Obama was born outside of the US.

    When I open my garage door, the first thing I check is to see if he's out in his yard. If he catches me, it's at least 20 minutes of gossip.

    Anyway, I'm thinking of changing my wireless network name to something like "American Jihad." I know he'll see it because he's pretty tech savvy for an old codger and I'm sure he checks out everyone's security.

    Do you think I am asking for more trouble than it's worth? I'm sure he'll call the FBI if he sees it. Any other suggestions? I just want to fuck with him, not cause him any real harm. "Black Panthers" might be more safe. I'll consider any and all suggestions for giving this guy heartburn.
     
  2. Daveindiego

    Daveindiego Confirmed Internet Legend Gold

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    Burn his house to the ground, and stand outside laughing and pointing during the fire. :c
     
  3. keywordpk

    keywordpk Perpetual Geek Gold

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    Sounds a little like our neighborhood elderly rascal, 'shirtless Pete'


    Every neighborhood has one.
     
  4. Gomez

    Gomez Well-Known Member

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    old people, Texas :coffee:
     
  5. idiotbox

    idiotbox Looking for a dime and found a quarter. VIP

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    why not just murder him?







    the above is a joke








    allegedly
     
  6. gwartney

    gwartney Unafilliated Gold

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    All brick. It would be tough to get it started.
     
  7. Harry Gibbs

    Harry Gibbs the boss of all men

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    make your wifi network name "[the guy's real name] is a annoying faggit." take a bunch a pictures of him and post them here. videotape him saying this shit and post the videos online (including here) and tell him that he has no reasonable expectation of privacy in public. start leaving a banana in his driveway every say just to fuck with him. ask him if he's noticed the smell of curry in the neighborhood lately and ask him if its him.
     
  8. DarkFriday

    DarkFriday Fired as a MOD...Twice. Gold

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    You've got too much free time....and kill the neighbor :draw:
     
  9. PullMyFinger

    PullMyFinger Hors d'oeuvre Addict VIP

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    Do you have any black friends/acquaintances? If so, invite them over and make it look like you are showing them the house.

    When the old guy asks you about it(which he certainly will) tell him you are thinking about selling.
     
  10. PLZ callmeTED

    PLZ callmeTED National Treasure Gold

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    When I first read the title I thought it said, "I want to fuck my neighbor."


    I'm glad that got cleared up.
     
  11. doughhead63

    doughhead63 OD'd on life itself Staff Member

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    Gas leak?
     
  12. FatKidSullivan

    FatKidSullivan Smoking Cigars

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    I think the Jihad thing is asking for trouble.
     
  13. Chaos

    Chaos Active Member

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    I dunno dude. This guy seems to be the type to "suffer for the cause" and go the distance. You might want to think long and hard and make sure you willing to tangle with this dude. It will go the distance.
     
  14. Daveindiego

    Daveindiego Confirmed Internet Legend Gold

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    Fly me out. I'll burn the fucking thing to the ground. :smile:
     
  15. Daveindiego

    Daveindiego Confirmed Internet Legend Gold

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    Instead of the Jihadi idea, go with

    Big Gay Al's Bath House and Gayporium.
     
  16. PullMyFinger

    PullMyFinger Hors d'oeuvre Addict VIP

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    Same here. I was waiting for the part where the old grumpy dude had a really hot young wife. :dontknow:
     
  17. gwartney

    gwartney Unafilliated Gold

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    :jj: good suggestion (the wireless name). He's had his share of trouble because he's riled up the homeowners association and so forth. He's had the copper in his AC units stolen, some yard art stolen and some other stuff. (Our neighborhood has no crime at all) So the guy had cameras installed all over outside. Every once in a while something happens and when he tells me about it he always says "I forgot to turn the cameras on that day."
     
  18. Harry Gibbs

    Harry Gibbs the boss of all men

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    put an obama/biden sign in your front yard. talk to him about the theory of evolution and tell him you know it's true because he clearly descended from apes. ask him if he knows what the legal limit is on the number of assault rifles and the amount of ammo you can stockpile and when he asks why tell him "just in case."
     
  19. PLZ callmeTED

    PLZ callmeTED National Treasure Gold

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    Yeah, so much for that.
     
  20. zhukov

    zhukov Time traveler Gold

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    revenge.com
     
    Last edited: Sep 30, 2012