I have this old guy living next door to me that is a real pain in the ass. Here are some of his quirks: - Told me the the divorced lady across the street and his two daughters were running a prostitution ring out of the house. They met their clients at the Whataburger a few miles away. - Has pointed out numerous homes in the neighborhood as being owned by homosexuals. - Single handedly harassed the city until they put speed bumps on our street. - Has called the FAA several times to report airplanes flying low over our neighborhood. - Turned in one neighbor to the city because he was having a wall built in his garage and didn't have a work permit. Got work stopped for about two weeks. - Told me that the neighbor across the street from him (a teacher) has pool parties with all of her other teacher friends and they smoke pot. - Knows every cancer victim, bank repossession, marital separation etc. for miles around. - One of my roof vents has a dent in it from a hail storm and he mentions it to me about once a month. Oh, I forgot to mention. He moved out of his last neighborhood because too many blacks moved in. As you might guess, this guy leans so far to the right, he almost falls over. He also thinks Obama was born outside of the US. When I open my garage door, the first thing I check is to see if he's out in his yard. If he catches me, it's at least 20 minutes of gossip. Anyway, I'm thinking of changing my wireless network name to something like "American Jihad." I know he'll see it because he's pretty tech savvy for an old codger and I'm sure he checks out everyone's security. Do you think I am asking for more trouble than it's worth? I'm sure he'll call the FBI if he sees it. Any other suggestions? I just want to fuck with him, not cause him any real harm. "Black Panthers" might be more safe. I'll consider any and all suggestions for giving this guy heartburn.