i was recounting my sexual history earlier tonight and i had a stark realization.

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Harry Gibbs, Sep 1, 2013.

  1. Harry Gibbs

    Harry Gibbs the boss of all men

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    for the first time, the hilarity of what i did just hit me: i fingerbanged a presbyterian minister's daughter when we were in high school.

    that's so fucking funny. :jj:

    true story.
     
  2. Lemmy

    Lemmy Douchebag Extraordinaire Gold

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  3. Phillip

    Phillip Well-Known Member VIP

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    Fuck you and footloose
     
  4. Toothdecay

    Toothdecay New Member Banned User

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    Who didnt
     
  5. Harry Gibbs

    Harry Gibbs the boss of all men

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    that guy had to be baptist. my story is true. her name was katie, she had a big toothy grin, huge super firm boobs and a super nice vagina.
     
  6. Harry Gibbs

    Harry Gibbs the boss of all men

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    you didn't bro there ain't no presbyterian philippinas.
     
  7. Scott

    Scott Masshole Staff Member

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    I dated a girl who's parents were holy rollers. She wasn't even allowed to watch TV. They of course didn't know about me. One day I went to her house when the parents were at work and we had our hands down eachother's pants and her father walked in the door unexpectedly. I had sweat pants on and ran all the way home with a huge boner.

    She broke up with me after that. :sad:
     
  8. Harry Gibbs

    Harry Gibbs the boss of all men

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    :lol: start to finish lollys
     
  9. Toothdecay

    Toothdecay New Member Banned User

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    Don't be stupid ya moron
     
  10. Chief

    Chief I'm all sixes & sevens & nines Staff Member

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    There was a private boarding school for rich girls just outside the town where I lived. It was like having a private hunting preserve. :hhh:
     
  11. Stew Nod

    Stew Nod Well-Known Member Banned User

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    I wuz banging this crazy German guy's daughter one night at her dad's house...It was like 3AM and he came downstairs calling her name, walking around with his shotgun...holy fuck, we hid under the dining room table till he went back upstairs...He def woulda shot me :rofl: fucking angry alcoholic
     
  12. alittlebitcunty

    alittlebitcunty Well-Known Member

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    I can't tell my story until the statute of limitations expires :(
     
  13. Harry Gibbs

    Harry Gibbs the boss of all men

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    ya mormon.
     
  14. NipplesAndToes23

    NipplesAndToes23 Mediocre Negro VIP

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    I finger banged a chick in a bus full of people on the way to a church ski trip. My dad was the pastor of the church. I still remember how soft her pubes were...
     
  15. Harry Gibbs

    Harry Gibbs the boss of all men

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    good stuff bro. elementary school trip?
     
  16. Harry Gibbs

    Harry Gibbs the boss of all men

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    :lol:
     
  17. Mlaw

    Mlaw Quite Contrarian VIP Gold

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    everyone else was getting it in
     
  18. Chief

    Chief I'm all sixes & sevens & nines Staff Member

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    :hhh:
     
  19. NipplesAndToes23

    NipplesAndToes23 Mediocre Negro VIP

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    The first set of tittays I ever felt were on a girl whose house we were at for a gathering of minsters' families. She asked me to give her a massage and a few minutes in she unhooked her bra because it was "uncomfortable". Her nips felt like pencil erasers. I was only 13 or 14. I pulled her pants down and looked at her bush, but I was too naïve to fuck her. Her 8yo sister was in the room sitting in front of us. The fingerbangee had a note in her purse from another girl at her church. In the note the girl said, "I put a hotdog in myself and it felt good." Her dad was the pastor of the church my uncle is now the pastor of, although the church's name has changed. He cheated on his wife with the choir director several times. At one point his wife got a baseball bat and put the chick in the hospital.
     
  20. Scott

    Scott Masshole Staff Member

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    White girl?