I was woken up from a sound sleep at 3:30 last night by a catastrophic fart

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Phan Neepack, Apr 26, 2015.

  1. Phan Neepack

    Phan Neepack Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    21,210
    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2013
    Messages:
    10,107
    Likes Received:
    3,873
    Consequently ...

    A
    ) laundry will need to be done much earlier than normal, today
    B) my daily shower has been completed hours earlier than usual
    C) I will no longer be consuming pre-cooked chicken-breast burrito's


    Should be a woooonderful Sunday :rolleyes::rolleyes:
     
  2. Gas Face

    Gas Face Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    68,098
    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    33,292
    Likes Received:
    3,741
    How fat are you?
     
  3. Napoleon V

    Napoleon V Swagggggg. ! !!!!!!!! !!!!! Banned User

    Reputations:
    35,042
    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2015
    Messages:
    7,979
    Likes Received:
    5,457
    I think you have unresolved issues from the anal stage of psychosexual development.
     
  4. nfbuckeye

    nfbuckeye Beam me up, Mr. Speaker. VIP

    Reputations:
    46,968
    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2012
    Messages:
    12,319
    Likes Received:
    7,772
    Harry Gibbs likes this.
  5. banksy

    banksy You wrote "I love you" in lipstick on the mirror VIP

    Reputations:
    66,745
    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2011
    Messages:
    72,319
    Likes Received:
    7,891
    All that because of a fart?
     
  6. Capn Crud

    Capn Crud The Pride of Cucamonga VIP Gold

    Reputations:
    91,996
    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2011
    Messages:
    63,495
    Likes Received:
    8,344
    burritos
     
  7. Mur

    Mur soon VIP

    Reputations:
    6,349
    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2011
    Messages:
    8,072
    Likes Received:
    1,012
  8. Phan Neepack

    Phan Neepack Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    21,210
    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2013
    Messages:
    10,107
    Likes Received:
    3,873

    172 lbs....... Obesity & gastrointestinal issues are not synonymous, sir
     
  9. Phan Neepack

    Phan Neepack Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    21,210
    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2013
    Messages:
    10,107
    Likes Received:
    3,873


    A loaded fart
     
  10. Mur

    Mur soon VIP

    Reputations:
    6,349
    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2011
    Messages:
    8,072
    Likes Received:
    1,012
    You shit yourself? :puke:
     
  11. Daveindiego

    Daveindiego Confirmed Internet Legend Gold

    Reputations:
    449,616
    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2010
    Messages:
    74,986
    Likes Received:
    29,486
    Was it one of those kinds where you are certain that flesh has torn?

    I have had a few of those kind, where you have to run to the bathroom to see if you're bleeding or not.

    :c
     
  12. GLguygardner

    GLguygardner WE DA BEST!! VIP Gold

    Reputations:
    216,134
    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2010
    Messages:
    12,569
    Likes Received:
    25,650
    One time, my ex farted so loud that I woke up at 5am.

    end thread.
     
  13. banksy

    banksy You wrote "I love you" in lipstick on the mirror VIP

    Reputations:
    66,745
    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2011
    Messages:
    72,319
    Likes Received:
    7,891
    That's called s shit you IDIOT
     
  14. Sharrack

    Sharrack Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    -2,538
    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2012
    Messages:
    740
    Likes Received:
    354
    Wow......i had 2 egg mcmuffins yesterday and had to pull over on a major hwy to
    Squirt mud behind a tree. I was 10 seconds from your catastrophic fart !!
     
    Napoleon V likes this.
  15. Babs

    Babs Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    120,135
    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2012
    Messages:
    64,298
    Likes Received:
    19,009
    Awakened.
     
  16. Phan Neepack

    Phan Neepack Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    21,210
    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2013
    Messages:
    10,107
    Likes Received:
    3,873

    I've never heard of s shit
     
    GentlemenBroncos likes this.
  17. Phan Neepack

    Phan Neepack Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    21,210
    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2013
    Messages:
    10,107
    Likes Received:
    3,873


    No ... It was more like a shaken bottle of champagne ... Once the cork blasted, the contents just blasted out ....kinda like Mt. Saint Helens
     
  18. Daveindiego

    Daveindiego Confirmed Internet Legend Gold

    Reputations:
    449,616
    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2010
    Messages:
    74,986
    Likes Received:
    29,486
    Well that is a Shart. :bigthink
     
  19. Cheri

    Cheri Skunk VIP

    Reputations:
    203,173
    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2011
    Messages:
    27,686
    Likes Received:
    13,061
    You may want to seek a doctors advice. This doesnt sound normal.
     
  20. Sharrack

    Sharrack Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    -2,538
    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2012
    Messages:
    740
    Likes Received:
    354
    I projectile shit last year out in the desert.......mud sprayed at least 2ft.
    It was magnificent...