I was woken up from a sound sleep at 3:30 last night by a catastrophic fart

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Phan Neepack, Apr 26, 2015.

  1. Phan Neepack

    Phan Neepack Well-Known Member

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    Consequently ...

    A
    ) laundry will need to be done much earlier than normal, today
    B) my daily shower has been completed hours earlier than usual
    C) I will no longer be consuming pre-cooked chicken-breast burrito's


    Should be a woooonderful Sunday :rolleyes::rolleyes:
     
  2. Gas Face

    Gas Face Well-Known Member

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    How fat are you?
     
  3. Napoleon V

    Napoleon V Swagggggg. ! !!!!!!!! !!!!! Banned User

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    I think you have unresolved issues from the anal stage of psychosexual development.
     
  4. nfbuckeye

    nfbuckeye Total Coverage Gold

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    Harry Gibbs likes this.
  5. banksy

    banksy My fav chil VIP

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    All that because of a fart?
     
  6. Capn Crud

    Capn Crud The pride of Cucamonga VIP

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    burritos
     
  7. Mur

    Mur WTF is this shit? Gold

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  8. Phan Neepack

    Phan Neepack Well-Known Member

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    172 lbs....... Obesity & gastrointestinal issues are not synonymous, sir
     
  9. Phan Neepack

    Phan Neepack Well-Known Member

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    A loaded fart
     
  10. Mur

    Mur WTF is this shit? Gold

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    You shit yourself? :puke:
     
  11. Daveindiego

    Daveindiego Confirmed Internet Legend Banned User

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    Was it one of those kinds where you are certain that flesh has torn?

    I have had a few of those kind, where you have to run to the bathroom to see if you're bleeding or not.

    :c
     
  12. GLguygardner

    GLguygardner I can afford $5 you bastards!!! 2010 OG VIP

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    One time, my ex farted so loud that I woke up at 5am.

    end thread.
     
  13. banksy

    banksy My fav chil VIP

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    That's called s shit you IDIOT
     
  14. Sharrack

    Sharrack Well-Known Member

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    Wow......i had 2 egg mcmuffins yesterday and had to pull over on a major hwy to
    Squirt mud behind a tree. I was 10 seconds from your catastrophic fart !!
     
    Napoleon V likes this.
  15. Babs

    Babs VIP Extreme VIP Gold

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    Awakened.
     
  16. Phan Neepack

    Phan Neepack Well-Known Member

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    I've never heard of s shit
     
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  17. Phan Neepack

    Phan Neepack Well-Known Member

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    No ... It was more like a shaken bottle of champagne ... Once the cork blasted, the contents just blasted out ....kinda like Mt. Saint Helens
     
  18. Daveindiego

    Daveindiego Confirmed Internet Legend Banned User

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    Well that is a Shart. :bigthink
     
  19. Cheri

    Cheri Legend VIP

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    You may want to seek a doctors advice. This doesnt sound normal.
     
  20. Sharrack

    Sharrack Well-Known Member

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    I projectile shit last year out in the desert.......mud sprayed at least 2ft.
    It was magnificent...