I went to a strip club last night. Sorry, no photos

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by gwartney, Aug 15, 2015.

  1. gwartney

    gwartney Is there gas in the car? 2010 OG Gold

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    I went to the Golden Horseshoe last night in Ranson, WV at approximately 8:30 PM. The $10 cover almost kept me from going in. It is fairly dumpy looking. I was about the 15th customer and the first and only wearing cargo shorts and a shirt with a collar. Beers $3.75. The waitress looked like a stripper about 5 years retired. I ordered bottle beer as I would never touch anything that gets washed in that place. Giving her a 5 for the $3.75 beer earned me some squeezes on the shoulder. Everyone but me seemed to be a regular or a friend of a stripper as they were all hanging out together. Two couples were in there as well. Hideous is all I can say.

    All the girls that I saw were white. No surprise there for West Virginia. There were two girls at a time on the floor, very listlessly kind of rubbing on the poles. Goat would have loved one of them. There were a lot of girls that were way out of shape and there were some girls that were in very good shape. The out of shape ones flashed their beav a lot more in hopes of getting tips. Really bad tattoos seem to be a job requirement. One girl had wings tattooed on her back. I hope to god that wasn't the finished tat. I did not take a seat along the stage as the place was pretty nasty and I did not want any contact with the strippers.

    One girl looked like a lesbian. I know but sometimes you can look at someone and tell they might be gay. She had the real short hair and she was skinny to the point of having a boyish body. She was one of the few that tried to put on a bit of a show.

    There was another girl that freaked me the fuck out. She looked underage. scary underage. I'm out in WV in a small town where everyone knows everyone, whose to say they didn't let an aspiring stripper work on Friday night. She came over and asked me if I wanted any company. She looked really young up close too. I sent her away. If she's really of age, she could make some dough in porn. BTW, she was in really good shape and pretty.

    There was one girl that was really good on the pole. She was probably the prettiest and in best shape of any that I saw. I'm guessing that she won't work there long. The music sucked. I swear the music and announcements were pretaped because I thought I saw the dj sitting with some people when he was also talking to the crowd.

    I stayed long enough for two beers. The place seemed friendly enough but a stranger by himself can't be too careful. Plus the strippers were starting to hover around me. I didn't want to have to touch any of them and sure didn't want to have to pay them for a visit or whatever they call it. Stripper talking to stranger seemed like it could be a recipe for violence. Oh, the place allowed smoking too. The smoke wasn't bad because the place was practically empty.

    I don't think I'd go back. I sure wouldn't make a special trip. These places are supposed to be kind of stimulating. This place was far from that. On a scale of 1-10 nipples, I'd give it about 3.
     
  2. BleedingGums

    BleedingGums Fesh Fox Faggot 2010 OG VIP

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  3. larryluncg

    larryluncg Birthdays were the worst days VIP Gold

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    That place sounds really depressing.
     
  4. wife is a whore

    wife is a whore Dawgshedwiaw@gmail.com VIP

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    WV lap dances are a waste of money. One joint I was in had handles above yer shoulders that you had to hold onto while the whore did an air dance in front of you. I got up and went back to the bar before she finished.
     
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  5. Chief

    Chief I'm all sixes & sevens & nines Staff Member

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    That place has always been a shithole. You should have gone up on route 11. They're a bunch of nicer places out there.
     
  6. baltimore mike

    baltimore mike Well-Known Member 2010 OG Gold

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    You should have went online and looked at reviews it is 2015
     
  7. gwartney

    gwartney Is there gas in the car? 2010 OG Gold

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    I did. I was closest to it so I went there. The girls actually looked better than the ones on their web site.
     
  8. gwartney

    gwartney Is there gas in the car? 2010 OG Gold

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    I almost did. I was at the casino and this place was closest.
     
  9. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal Welcome to my underground lair.

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    Is this the one goat would have liked? I found their page, don't tase me, bro.

    [​IMG]
     
  10. RH Goatcabin

    RH Goatcabin Time to pulsate. Time to yearn. 2010 OG POTY The Bar Gold

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    Thank you for your in depth analysis. :hat:
     
  11. RH Goatcabin

    RH Goatcabin Time to pulsate. Time to yearn. 2010 OG POTY The Bar Gold

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    I could work with that.
     
  12. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter 2010 OG Gold

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    :wtf::right:
     
  13. DarkFriday

    DarkFriday This is me Gold

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    :bm::hersh:
     
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  14. LonghornJ

    LonghornJ Well-Known Member 2010 OG Gold

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    This made me remember that I haven't been to a titty bar since 2009
     
  15. snowdog212

    snowdog212 Well-Known Member VIP

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    Fuck looks like Artie
     
  16. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal Welcome to my underground lair.

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    They only had five or six girls on their site. I wouldn't say any of them were downright hideous, as gwart is describing.
     
  17. Shedding Skin

    Shedding Skin Damp Banned User

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    So gwartney is a pedophile?
     
  18. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal Welcome to my underground lair.

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    He sent her away like a bowl of soup with a hair in it.
     
  19. Teabag

    Teabag iz naught tha 1 2 b fucked wit VIP

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    The champagne room is where the real action is.
     
  20. PullMyFinger

    PullMyFinger Hors d'oeuvre Addict 2010 OG VIP

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    This was the most depressing "Hey guys, went to a strip club last night" thread I've ever read. :crying:
     
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