Everyday I see dudes walking around holding hands with trolls looking happy as fuck. But when I'm out with a girl I'm super self conscious about any little flaw that she has. I feel like everyone is making assumptions about how much money I make based on the chick I'm with. I met this really pretty chick who has a fucking PhD, but she is a little chunky. She's cool as fuck but I'm uncomfortable walking around with her. I'm fucking 40 years old and I shouldn't give a flying fuck, but I do. I feel the same way about cars, too. I'm cheap as fuck and I wish I could drive a Hyundai but I always feel people will think I'm poor if I have one. I also am very self conscious about eating fried chicken in public. Yesterday I was really busy and I didn't eat lunch. On my way to the football game (Raiders beat the Seahawks, nigga!) I stopped at Popeye's and got a three piece. I drove to the BART station and sat in my car and ate it. I felt like everyone who walked past me was laughing at me and thinking, "wow, how fucking typical." I didn't finish my soda because I was uncomfortable taking with me on the train because it was in a Popeye's cup. At my last job they had orange soda in the kitchen and I would only drink it if no one else was still in the office. And I NEVER EVER eat watermelon at company picnics. No fucking way.