If I were Beth's PR coach....

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Dlist, Jun 15, 2012.

  1. Dlist

    Dlist Well-Known Member VIP

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    1)handcuff those hands to a chair. (gold phoenix suggestion)
    2) drop that voice down 2 octaves
    3) complete a sentence
    4) change the hairstyle...It's been the same since you were 13.
    5) don't consider yourself an "expert" at anything
    6) learn how to pronounce common english words like old

    and after much thinking I guess I would say
    7) just walk the dog, blow howard, shut the fuck up, and fade into oblivion.
     
  2. Mr Fantastic

    Mr Fantastic Found Nemo VIP

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    Cash the check asap
     
  3. Gena

    Gena Member

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    A-fuckin-men to number 7, it should be number one lol. Though i imagine blowing howard would be like sucking on a tic tac but without the nice flavor.
     
  4. pontius pilot

    pontius pilot #TeahmGandhiStarver VIP

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    not do a massive rail of blow five minutes before air time*


    *allegedly
     
  5. Dlist

    Dlist Well-Known Member VIP

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    crap you've given out too many reps...will have to rep pontiffs later
     
  6. pontius pilot

    pontius pilot #TeahmGandhiStarver VIP

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    ha ha. thanks! +r
     
  7. skytzoboy

    skytzoboy not a fuck to give

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    8) brain transplant :derp:
     
  8. AlPachinosBaby

    AlPachinosBaby Well-Known Member

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    Number 6! Lol!

    In Hartford, Hampshire and Hamptons, hurricanes hardly happen.

    The rain in Spain stays mainly in jamacia plains .
     
  9. Dlist

    Dlist Well-Known Member VIP

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    Well that is asking a bit much. They do hand and feet transplants though, right? That might up the IMDB ratings.
     
  10. Mr Marbles

    Mr Marbles Member

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    Her last PR coach

    [​IMG]
     
  11. schnauzer

    schnauzer Well-Known Member

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    Firstly, there needs to be continuity in the type of programmes she hosts. For some reason, Beth's latest incarnation wants to gain popularity with an untried demographic -- daytime tv-watching, suburban, soccer moms (WHY?). This is doomed to fail. But if she really wants to give it her best shot, she needs to be more relatable. That will demand an immediate cessation of all diamond ring/handbag logo flashing when posing for photographers & generally dressing less Bergdorf Goodman & more Walmart. Of course, she'd never dream of implementing such advice & therein lies the problem
     
  12. Dlist

    Dlist Well-Known Member VIP

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    Schnaz, I agree she needs to be relatable, but any 40 yr old who says she has a two story "girl cave" is so out of touch.
     
  13. Dominic GPS

    Dominic GPS TIT: Texan-In-Training VIP

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    hahaa fucker beat me to it! +r
     
  14. schnauzer

    schnauzer Well-Known Member

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    I do wonder if some pervy Polish uncle diddled her 13yr old clit -- because that's where her brain's at. Beth's life is the realisation of a young teen girl's fantasy -- she plays with cute animals all day long & plays dress-up.
     
  15. Dominic GPS

    Dominic GPS TIT: Texan-In-Training VIP

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    I just thought of my version and it wouldn't be so bad to bang hot chicks and play video games all day.
     
  16. aquadog

    aquadog Well-Known Member

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    Yup! She's schizo. Mom Caves...look at me in my cutsie hat, coming to "decorate" your house. I'm just a regular "mom" to my cats who wants to give you advice on your closet. No wait...now look at me in me half naked holding a cat in my multimillion dollar mansion. No wait...look at me with my insanely overpriced and oversized purse on this Hamptons red carpet. She's got to pick a thing and go with it. She can't have it both ways.
     
  17. tv910

    tv910 Well-Known Member

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    The best advice anyone could give her is to go home and stay there.