If Sam Kinison hadn't died, would Howard still have him on the show? Would he come?

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by TelegramSam, Feb 21, 2013.

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Would Sam do THSS? Would Howie have him on?

Poll closed Feb 27, 2013.
  1. Yes, Sam would be loyal despite Howard's becoming Hamptons Howie.

    3 vote(s)
    5.8%
  2. Howard would never have him on, the show has evolved into a steaming pile of shit.

    37 vote(s)
    71.2%
  3. Sam would appear once, and be banned for life.

    10 vote(s)
    19.2%
  4. Howard would dump Sam for Bobcat and Whoopie.

    2 vote(s)
    3.8%
  1. TelegramSam

    TelegramSam I love Sam's cock Banned User

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    I tried to listen to some of the past few months shows to catch up, and just couldn't. All of this got me thinking, though. Howard now mentions Kinison in a sort of reverential way, and acts as if the two would be the best of friends and have all of this common ground were he to suddenly come walking through the door. Yet, Sam made tons of AIDS/Gay jokes, racially insensitive jokes, and insulted religion in a way that Howard hasn't in years. I have a hard time believing he would let him on, or that Kinison would still be allowed within 5 miles of The Hamptons. Thoughts?
     
    Last edited: Feb 21, 2013
  2. Horff

    Horff Well-Known Member

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    He would treat him like he does Gilbert. One or two visits a year with Howard mostly talking over Kinison. I'm sure Gary would have to explain to him before the appearance how the show has "evolved."
     
  3. ClownPocket

    ClownPocket New Member Banned User

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    Howard's guest list is now composed of Buchwalds clients, people Beth wants to be friends with, or Hamptonite nouveau riche. Unless Kinison fits into one of theses slots, the answer is no. See Dee Snyder as an example.

    Also Sam couldn't stomach this new and evolved shitbag.
     
  4. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP

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    By now Sam would have done a stretch in fedpen for tax evasion. upon his release Sam would have returned to Jesus. He and Billy Baldwin would have a traveling ministry and would both avoid the show because Howard encourages whores, drug addicts, and demon lovers.
     
  5. IlluminatiJones

    IlluminatiJones New Member

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    I can't imagine Sam living longer than he did. It's like he was born to be a tragic figure, a cautionary tale, a bloated drug-addict retard, etc.

    But if he was still alive he would have had a(nother) falling out with Stern and wound up on the O&A side of things, taking occasional shots at Howard with Howard pretending not to hear them.
     
  6. Jake Dog

    Jake Dog Well-Known Member VIP

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    [​IMG]


    Actually, Howard died years ago too but he just refuses to accept it. "Go To The Light Howard!!!"
     
  7. TelegramSam

    TelegramSam I love Sam's cock Banned User

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    I'm with you to a point, but to be fair to Sam, he was hit by a drunk driver. Not the other way around. And he had cleaned up quite a bit just before the end, so I'm inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt. I also don't think Sam would have "found" Jesus again, because he actually still attended and gave money to Pentecostal Churches right up until his death (he just didn't whore himself out for Jesus as a business model like his family).
     
  8. Chuck Kongo

    Chuck Kongo Well-Known Member

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    Who knows, but if Sam had lived..by now he'd probably have become almost as pathetic as Dice is now.....
     
  9. IlluminatiJones

    IlluminatiJones New Member

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    Besides cocaine, autopsy findings indicate Kinison had the prescription tranquilizers Valium and Xantac in his system as well as the prescription painkiller codeine, said Dr. Irving Root, who retired as the San Bernardino County coroner's chief pathologist in 1991.


    http://articles.latimes.com/1992-05-29/news/mn-346_1_sam-kinison

    again: a tragic figure, a cautionary tale, a bloated drug-addict retard, etc.
     
  10. Night Ape

    Night Ape Well-Known Member

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    I can't vote because there's no "There's No Way In Hell Sam Kinison Would Still Be Alive Today" option
     
  11. KillVampires

    KillVampires Racist Banned User

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    Actually Sam's problem was that he paid for everything. Including taxes. He would make $500,000 and spend $750,000. He was taking out loans for houses, cars, and private planes when he died. There's the legendary story where he was flying with his entourage and Jessica Hahn showed up the airport....so he rented out an entire plane for just the two of them to fly from NY to CA. Because he wanted to impress her. Fucking ridiculously expensive lay that must have been.

    Bill Kinison's book has all sorts of hilarious details about Sam's money. Sam would sign up for a movie, violate the contract by refusing to show up for work, and then have to pay six figures to get out of legal trouble. So Sam would pay $200,000 to a movie studio to drop out after one week of filming. Sam also paid for all of his friends to party. Would fly himself out to go on Howard's show on his own dime. Flew himself into U.S. Open Sores on his own dime.

    Legendary burning of money. But he only owed money to the banks. Worst case scenario, had he lived, he declares bankruptcy and sells off a house. He also gave a ton to charity when he was alive. Even raising $100,000 for Lenny Bruce's mother just because it was Lenny Brucer's mother.
     
  12. joyceface

    joyceface Queen of Everything VIP

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    There's no doubt in my mind that had Sam lived, Howard would have quickly tired of his antics. Sam was too immature and unevolved for elder, more mature Howard. Sam probably wouldn't even want to be on the evolved show, or around phoney Hamptoms Howard.
     
  13. Tans Lover

    Tans Lover Active Member

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    Sam wasn't clean but it's a shame that he was killed by a drunk driver. Any drugs they found in his body were just keeping him normal.
     
  14. Wangold

    Wangold Well-Known Member

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    Howard wouldn't piss on Sam today.
     
  15. ZevonFan

    ZevonFan VIP Extreme Gold

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    I think that, at this point in Howard's "evolution." Sam would be rolling in his grave if he knew that Howard held all the rights to Sam's story. Now that nobody's interested, Howard has done another non-project, like Porky's. I think Sam would be bad-mouthing him all the way.
     
  16. ravenrules

    ravenrules Well-Known Member

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    He and Howard would've had a falling out, and Sam would be banned from the show like Pat Cooper is now.
     
  17. Kanger

    Kanger Well-Known Member

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    Has been Howard would have him on but Gary would brief him on what is now taboo on the show. Sam would come in and 30 seconds in call Howard out on being a PC fag and would be banned from the show.
     
  18. Greekfreak

    Greekfreak New Member Banned User

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    "Brother Sam". Great read. I think it's out-of-print now but the movie was going to be based on the book. Did you ever hear the WTF podcast interview Maron did with Carl LaBove? Compelling stuff.

    Sam was going back to great comedy when he died--the posthumous "Live From Hell" album has bits approaching the genius of his first album. I don't think he would have been rendered as irrelevant as Dice at this point, had he lived.
     
  19. tired

    tired Well-Known Member

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    howard is howards friend.
     
  20. SouthernListen

    SouthernListen I don't follow the crowd. Sorry about that. VIP

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    Listening to several Sam appearances in replays, I have to say, they're not very entertaining. One of the few old things I switch the channel on now.