If you were asked to "fix" the HSS what would you do?

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by MatthewRosa, Oct 10, 2013.

  1. MatthewRosa

    MatthewRosa New Member Banned User

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    If for some reason Howard held a contest to "fix" the HSS or Gary stopped drugging Howard's breakfast every morning(let's face it, that's the only way he is still employed as an EP and not just an in studio voice) how would you go about fixing it?

    My suggestions:
    -Promote Kaplan to CEO w/ability to fire anyone, even the Fab Five.

    -Bring Artie Back but put him in Robin's spot

    -Move Robin to one day a week for a one hr at most news segment.

    -arrange the schedule to work Mon-Fri and whatever vacation time they have take it like a month or two off at a time. This would allow for very detailed specials or perhaps even bring a show like Abe Kanan and Bubba in for mon-fri to give us live programming.

    -rotate the "Artie Chair" with Sal, JD,Jon Hein, Kaplan, Will and other staffers. I know that sounds kind of cheesy however I truly believe Artie was so great because he basically had a staffer mentality and brought that to the air a lot. It's one of the reasons I loved "Back Office Radio" so much.

    -eliminate H101 and move those shows to H100 because there is absolutely no reason to replay the show with the OnDemand options.

    -Make Kaplan, Will, JD , Lieberman or other behind the scenes staffers the cohost of the wrap up show and get rid of Gary. He is way to invested in the show and will never say a bad thing about the caliber of guests or content on the show. Also make the Wrap Up Show a minimum of 3hrs and open the range of topics talked about. They should conduct interviews with smaller caliber guests, kind of like GeekTime and JHTV show did.

    -Fire everyone on the news staff except Lieberman.

    -I would say get rid of HTV but I believe that might happen although if what I've heard is correct they are just moving to a different platform in 2014. However if that isn't true I'd keep DePace and Doug around for comedic value.

    I'm sure I'll think of more but how would you save the show?
     
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2013
  2. Winst

    Winst Well-Known Member VIP

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    Go out in style.......burn it all down.


    ...which BTW...is the near exact direction that I think certain things might possibly be headed towards.


    ............. :whistle:
     
  3. Phillipmcd

    Phillipmcd Active Member

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    Fire Howard Stern
     
  4. SEGA

    SEGA Permanent Vacation VIP

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    Too much too fix at this point, it's beyond damaged...the scripted fake parts are beyond repair now, leaves us to now believe all those fun scenarios back in the day were all fake :mad:

    I wouldn't even bother signing up for the job to fix it.
     
  5. SEGA

    SEGA Permanent Vacation VIP

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    His so full of himself, he said yesterday with the doctor on the phone "we must say penis cause we dont wanna sound graphic for the kids who listen".......then 40mins later he says "the dick being rammed in the ass"
























    :facepalm:
     
  6. ElRexican

    ElRexican Well-Known Member VIP

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    Team Kaplan!
    Team Young Will Murray!
    Team RuffyPup!


    :mexican:
     
  7. DanMullins

    DanMullins New Member Banned User

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    Cut the lovely Beth O's limbs off one-by-one and then slash her throat while the mic is right at her fat mouth while Howard is tied up and forced to watch. Then slowly disembowel Stern. Do it on the air for maximum ratings and promotions for all! :backlol2::backlol:
     
  8. Phillipmcd

    Phillipmcd Active Member

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    I agree with that one. Put Kaplan in charge without the fear of Howard trying to go behind the scenes to fire him. I hate Jason but he's probably the only one who isn't completely brain washed. If Gary was 100% in charge he wouldn't change a thing, he's like the battered housewife.
     
  9. killallposers

    killallposers VIP Extreme Gold

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    you gave me a great idea. with her being killed, she is no longer of use to him, so his only care is that her herpes blood may get on him. my idea is to tie her up. each day she is fed 5000 calories of fast food while howard sits and watches her get fat fast. he also has to watch her shit. we do this until she bursts. meanwhile, we put only pasta and chinese food (sauce on food) in front of howard. he will more slowly gain weight as he agonizes over every pound, standing on a scale. each day there are fun challenges which will show just how strong that love, which we are all jealous of, is. then, we kill neither. they go free, together. the next phase is the aftermath.
     
  10. DanMullins

    DanMullins New Member Banned User

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    Mah knigga!

    [​IMG]
     
  11. LaserT

    LaserT You have to have fun. Gold

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    Bring back KC.
     
  12. 1Vegasgirl

    1Vegasgirl Well-Known Member VIP Gold

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    :)
     
  13. BonDuckwald

    BonDuckwald Active Member

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    Invent time travel.
     
  14. Jokie Jokeman

    Jokie Jokeman Well-Known Member

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    It's really not that hard.

    Find a reliable, honest way of seeing how many listeners he has, and base his salary on that.

    For the last 8 years, there has been no real performance to pay incentive. He's been getting paid a ton more than he ever got on terrestrial radio, and had less listeners, but has been completely sheltered from that by the fact that it doesn't matter how many listeners he has. Do you think that he would EVER say that he would piss on his fans , or have Dierdre Stern if he knew that his salary would suffer for it?

    Make him actually WORK for his money, that's the only thing that will motivate him.
     
  15. guruhugz

    guruhugz Well-Known Member

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    It's over. It cannot be fixed.
     
  16. Beth143nacho

    Beth143nacho Well-Known Member VIP

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    I'd explain to the audience that the patient is dead, then pull the plug and post an ever-repeating apology.
     
  17. Ynnek4

    Ynnek4 Well-Known Member

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    Construct an exact replica of the K-Rock studio. The smaller intimateness of that studio would improve the show.[h=3][/h]
     
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2013
  18. jackieavenger

    jackieavenger Well-Known Member

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    BRING

    [​IMG]

    BACK
     
  19. jimbronie

    jimbronie Well-Known Member

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    I'd put Howard in the Budd Dwyer position.
     
  20. BringBackJackie

    BringBackJackie Well-Known Member Banned User

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    More kittens