I'm fucking free!

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by LawyerLarry, Jul 3, 2014.

  1. LawyerLarry

    LawyerLarry Mr. Fuckmoney in the Bank VIP

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    So most of my friends here know me from my thread about my problems with my gf. Well she just left me moments ago. We were in our regular argument that I'm so used to. The final straw on her part came down to this - I complained that she had too much of her shit in my bathroom. Shampoo, lotion, lip gloss, etc. She took offense to that. I didn't back down. Then it came down to me not buying her shit on non-holidays.

    I'm drunk. I got off work at 1:30 and hung out at my friend's house after work. She works at the bank across the street from my friend's crib, and she probably saw us on his balcony and got all jealous that we were having fun while she was at work. Yada yada yada. A whole bunch of shit combined. The shit hit the fan. I went to take a piss and she was gone when I came out of the bathroom. However, she didn't leave my keys behind. I want my motherfucking keys back! I wanna be free! I wanna fuck all the bitches I want!
     
  2. Joe Bauers

    Joe Bauers Well-Known Member

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    A lawyer that is Free ? :no:
     
  3. Dirty South

    Dirty South Large Member

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    Tread (sleep) lightly until you get the locks changed, fuck a key.
     
  4. F Vick

    F Vick Stuck up cunt Banned User

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    Change your locks and be done with it, if you're serious.
     
  5. harlock

    harlock ancora imparo Gold

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    just change your locks and call it good.
     
  6. harlock

    harlock ancora imparo Gold

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    :ninja:
     
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  7. LawyerLarry

    LawyerLarry Mr. Fuckmoney in the Bank VIP

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    Now I'm watching "The Leftovers" on my dvr. Gonna enjoy my Friday night.
     
  8. SouthernListen

    SouthernListen I don't follow the crowd. Sorry about that. VIP

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    So it sounds like sharing her nudie pics here is ok now. Fire away!
     
  9. LawyerLarry

    LawyerLarry Mr. Fuckmoney in the Bank VIP

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    I got a chain and another home-made lock on the top of the door. So she can't get in to kill me in my sleep.
     
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  10. F Vick

    F Vick Stuck up cunt Banned User

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    Great minds...
     
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  11. HooHoo

    HooHoo Well-Known Member

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    Larry -- its party time.

    [​IMG]

    P.S. You're not free, not by a longshot. She'll be back swinging on your balls when she cools off. I had a friend whose girl told him "If you walk out that door I'll be dead when you get home" then locked herself in the bathroom. He went to work because he'd been through that pattern with her enough times not to take it seriously anymore, and when he came home she was in the kitchen cooking dinner- "Hi honey".
     
    Last edited: Jul 3, 2014
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  12. LawyerLarry

    LawyerLarry Mr. Fuckmoney in the Bank VIP

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    I'm gonna watch this show. I'll call back in an hour. You better not.
     
  13. Dirty South

    Dirty South Large Member

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    She can come back when youre gone and trash your priceless wrasslin' belts/deer heads/confederate flag, though.
     
  14. chuk

    chuk Well-Known Member

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    :secret:she's still in the house...
     
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  15. HowieStearn

    HowieStearn HateClub

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    box up the shampoo, lotion, lip gloss, etc. and FedEx it to her

    [​IMG]
     
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  16. Tish

    Tish Well-Known Member

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    I started a thread about suicide. I'm one of those people that think you're a coward to kill yourself. Something's wrong. I really felt like it's easier to check out. I need a different job and friends!! I know I'd never hurt myself. But for a few minutes I thought, wow pain free. What if heaven is real! I'm jaded, and don't think it is. LL KEEP LIVING THE GOOD LIFE!!!
     
  17. HooHoo

    HooHoo Well-Known Member

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    This is the correct answer. He's gonna open the wrong door and there she is on the floor-- "Not like this. I won't let it end like this..."

    [​IMG]
     
  18. HowieStearn

    HowieStearn HateClub

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    [​IMG]
    got a nickle?
     
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  19. Jayla

    Jayla Ou ai-je l'esprit? Gold

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    I don't mean to offend, but it seems like you are really into drama.
     
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  20. LawyerLarry

    LawyerLarry Mr. Fuckmoney in the Bank VIP

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    Hey baby. If you're not too shabby, I'm free.