Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Jack-A-Roe, Aug 10, 2012.
I plan on destroying the competition and eating a hot dog too.
Knock down all the pins on the first roll. If you don't, knock them all down on the second roll.
ill stick my tip in you
2 beers per game are proper lubrication for maximum scoring.
If you drink heavily, it will loosen you up and repress your inhibitions.
You might fool the fucks in the league office, but you don't fool Jesus.
If you go over the line your score will be zero.
If you bowl a turkey by rule you must strut like ric flair then give your shirt an elbow drop.
enjoy the athlete's foot you're gonna get from the rental shoes
Roll the ball with two hands....between your legs.
Jesus Quintana: Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger 'til it goes "click."
The Dude: Jesus.
Jesus Quintana: You said it, man. Nobody fucks with the Jesus.
Tip: Tell the guy at the bowling alley you have kids and you need him to put up the gutter bumpers. No more gutterballs!
^^this^^ then run out to the middle of the lane and scream "it smells like wet Reggie in here" at the top of your lungs.
if at any point your score is exactly 111, draw a triangle over the top and call it a shithouse...we were some real badasses back in the day
Similar to the advice I always give people. Throw strikes. If you don't thow strikes, make spares. Guaranteed you'll have a decent score if you follow these simple tips.
I took my kids bowling a few weeks ago. I must have been away for awhile because I was shocked to see the bumpers are automatic now! I remember them being simple drain tile they rolled out and laid in the gutter.
Now they are rails that pop up automatically. When you program they players names into the score computer there was a box to check for bumpers or not. When I asked for the bumpers the guy told me they were automatic and I of course replied "How do it know?"
Quit ducking my question!!!
Your thumb/wrist determines the directions of the bowling ball.
wear shorts with no panties. then with gentle abandonment glide over the the hand dryer and place your shorts and balls over it for glorious pleasure.