Im going bowling tonight, please provide your bowling tips in here.

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Jack-A-Roe, Aug 10, 2012.

  1. Jack-A-Roe

    Jack-A-Roe Active Member

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    I plan on destroying the competition and eating a hot dog too.
     
  2. MatthewT

    MatthewT Awaiting The Rapture VIP

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    Knock down all the pins on the first roll. If you don't, knock them all down on the second roll.
     
  3. Kanye West

    Kanye West Yeezus!

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    ill stick my tip in you
     
  4. flailingfish

    flailingfish New Member

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    2 beers per game are proper lubrication for maximum scoring.
     
  5. gwartney

    gwartney Unafilliated Gold

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    If you drink heavily, it will loosen you up and repress your inhibitions.
     
  6. gilaet

    gilaet Zen As Fuck Gold

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    You might fool the fucks in the league office, but you don't fool Jesus.
     
  7. LonghornJ

    LonghornJ VIP Extreme Gold

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    If you go over the line your score will be zero.
     
  8. h5htyt76757j

    h5htyt76757j Chyea Chyea Banned User

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    If you bowl a turkey by rule you must strut like ric flair then give your shirt an elbow drop.
     
  9. banksy

    banksy Hey. You ugly. You yo daddy's son. VIP

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    enjoy the athlete's foot you're gonna get from the rental shoes :up:
     
  10. Habit Forming

    Habit Forming Member

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    Roll the ball with two hands....between your legs.
     
  11. MatthewT

    MatthewT Awaiting The Rapture VIP

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    Jesus Quintana: Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger 'til it goes "click."
    The Dude: Jesus.
    Jesus Quintana: You said it, man. Nobody fucks with the Jesus.
     
  12. fletchman71

    fletchman71 Well-Known Member

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    Tip: Tell the guy at the bowling alley you have kids and you need him to put up the gutter bumpers. No more gutterballs!
     
  13. VAsiCkBoy

    VAsiCkBoy Well-Known Member

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    ^^this^^ then run out to the middle of the lane and scream "it smells like wet Reggie in here" at the top of your lungs.
     
  14. Albert

    Albert New Member

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    if at any point your score is exactly 111, draw a triangle over the top and call it a shithouse...we were some real badasses back in the day
     
  15. BearShit

    BearShit BearShit + Tom Hardy = BFF

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  16. Droog

    Droog Well-Known Member VIP

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    Similar to the advice I always give people. Throw strikes. If you don't thow strikes, make spares. Guaranteed you'll have a decent score if you follow these simple tips.
     
  17. eliasbboy

    eliasbboy Insert Witty Title Here Staff Member

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    I took my kids bowling a few weeks ago. I must have been away for awhile because I was shocked to see the bumpers are automatic now! I remember them being simple drain tile they rolled out and laid in the gutter.

    Now they are rails that pop up automatically. When you program they players names into the score computer there was a box to check for bumpers or not. When I asked for the bumpers the guy told me they were automatic and I of course replied "How do it know?"
     
  18. MatthewT

    MatthewT Awaiting The Rapture VIP

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    Quit ducking my question!!! :cuss:
     
  19. sfgirl

    sfgirl Well-Known Member VIP

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    Your thumb/wrist determines the directions of the bowling ball.
     
  20. DrSublux

    DrSublux Who am dis VIP

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    wear shorts with no panties. then with gentle abandonment glide over the the hand dryer and place your shorts and balls over it for glorious pleasure.