Reality is starting to sink in. I lived so many years on barely any money, which I got in the form of student loans/my parents, that I thought making a real income would basically be life-changing. I'd be able to buy the stuff I wanted, travel, etc. But it's not like that at all. My credit debt keeps going up and down. I pay it off one month, and it bounces up again before my next paycheck. Also...going on trips and stuff. Saving up for it is going to be a fucking bitch. Like, what the hell...this isn't the life I imagined. And I want to get the new iphone xs 256gb so I can use my apple watch 4 that's been collecting dust since I got it, but a $1500 phone never seems to work for my budget. And the worst part is that I realize now that I won't be able to live the life I want unless I make REALLY good money, and fast, before I become an old geezer. Really good money, btw, would be around $200k.