In a Shensche - A Dawg's Shed All-Star Salute to the Poetry of Emily Stern

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by TallTyrion, Aug 28, 2015.

  1. TallTyrion

    TallTyrion Triggered like a mofo VIP

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    Over the last few weeks, I've been inspired by Emily's incredibly vapid poetry submissions to the Jewish Journal

    So hopefully, we can keep this going for while.....here goes:

    Flea-Bitten
    I ponder the help as I sit idly by
    watching my father's cat collection
    wondering upon hope if again
    it can be complete again.
    I've got an itch
    maybe I can get some calamine
    to address all of these fleas
    in my snatch.

    Seclusion
    My mother told me how talented I was
    I only wanted to please my father
    but he spent most of his life in our basement
    Wacking off to babysitter porn
    hopefully someday
    I too will have children to ignore

    Twitter
    God speaks to me in 140 character blurbs
    but please @GaryPuppet
    stop asking me for crotch shots.
     
  2. MorningSong13

    MorningSong13 Well-Known Member VIP

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  3. BethSucks

    BethSucks Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Hamptons Pain
    Cat, cats everywhere
    Why so much despair
    Man buried deep in a closet
    The women really does cause it
    Fame and cash are drugs to some
    With coke she seems less dumb
    The man paints big black cocks
    While on air white people he mocks
     
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  4. TallTyrion

    TallTyrion Triggered like a mofo VIP

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    Hamburger
    I ask my step mother what's for dinner
    she told me to ask Juanita the Cook
    my father is eating a warm almond
    again I starve
    I wonder how normal kids live their lives?
     
  5. lilbuddy67

    lilbuddy67 A man with breath-taking anger management issues Banned User

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  6. TallTyrion

    TallTyrion Triggered like a mofo VIP

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    Broken
    Kept together by tape and tears
    that's how I look
    when my allowance runs out
    Zoo Za Zoo motherfuckers
     
  7. Trophy Knife

    Trophy Knife Well-Known Member

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    The trees cry for my attention

    the pickle on the floor
    the knish on the bedside table

    who tossed it?
    who lost it?

    My father -- wigged out
    howling at the Messiah

    I am a banana.
     
  8. TallTyrion

    TallTyrion Triggered like a mofo VIP

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    Eball
    Exfoliating
    by not taking a bath for 28 days
    that's how it's done
    smell my pits
    that's how it's done
    never told you
    that bearings are for apples
    what's my sign?
    feces
     
  9. LawyerLarry

    LawyerLarry Mr. Fuckmoney in the Bank VIP

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  10. LawyerLarry

    LawyerLarry Mr. Fuckmoney in the Bank VIP

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    ^That's the first time I've ever seen pictures of the cunt who did that horrible poem.
     
  11. Shedding Skin

    Shedding Skin Damp Banned User

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    Gayest thread of all time
     
  12. TallTyrion

    TallTyrion Triggered like a mofo VIP

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    LOL. I love it when people think they are talented.
     
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  13. LawyerLarry

    LawyerLarry Mr. Fuckmoney in the Bank VIP

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    Was she famous?
     
  14. TallTyrion

    TallTyrion Triggered like a mofo VIP

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    Come to think of it:
    Deez
    Why am I so miserable
    my dad won't get me a job
    on the hallmark channel
    like my step mom
    why does he care
    he doesn't even
    fuck her anyway
     
  15. TallTyrion

    TallTyrion Triggered like a mofo VIP

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    Liliane Rudabet Gloria Elsveta Sobieski (born June 10, 1983[1]), known professionally as Leelee Sobieski, is an American film and television actress. Sobieski achieved recognition in her mid-teens for her performance in the 1998 film Deep Impact and as the daughter of a costume store owner in Eyes Wide Shut (1999). She received an Emmy nomination for the 1999 TV movie Joan of Arc, and two Golden Globe nominations for Joan of Arc and the 2001 TV movie Uprising.
     
  16. LawyerLarry

    LawyerLarry Mr. Fuckmoney in the Bank VIP

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    So no, she was not famous.
     
  17. TallTyrion

    TallTyrion Triggered like a mofo VIP

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    nope
     
  18. PSU Shower Room

    PSU Shower Room Well-Known Member

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    This made me burst out laughing at work. .
     
  19. TallTyrion

    TallTyrion Triggered like a mofo VIP

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    I had to weave it in somewhere.

    Do you think some normal moron would get their vapid "thoughts" published in the Jewish Journal?
     
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  20. Rocinante

    Rocinante Well-Endowed Member Gold

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    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    My step mom is a golddigger
    My dad is a jew