In the wake of the tragedy in Paris, this is the time we change

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by newcastlefan, Nov 14, 2015.

  1. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP

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    Everyone has to look towards the only religion that can stand up to the insane militant muslims.

    Islam cannot contain their aberrant since their own bible advocates murder.

    Judaism & Christianity cannot confront them, unless we all agree to fully support the efforts, and so far we cannot even agree on the time of day.

    Pastafaria is the religion of last resort: islam promises its murderous followers 72 virgins when they die. Big deal: The Church of the FSM's heaven has beer volcanoes and stripper factories.

    Some religions hold that people were created by a deity; science demonstrates that people evolved from lower lifeforms, and evolution says humans and chimpanzees differ by only 3% of DNA. Pastafaria proves that people evolved from pirates because people and pirates share 99.999% common DNA. No other lifeforms are closer to people than pirates so Pastafaria is obviously the most accurate and true.

    Religions claim their followers can only eat certain foods at certain times of the year. Pastafaria requires that The FSM's followers eat foods at all times of the year, followed before and after by strippers and beer.

    Knowing all this, which religion has the best chance of making the most people happy for the most time?

    It is time that we all follow Pastafaria so that He will lay his noodly appendages to solve all our problems. After all He boiled for our sins.

    [​IMG]
     
  2. larryluncg

    larryluncg Empty VIP

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    What's he saying Robin?
     
  3. Nunz

    Nunz Lar's lurking. VIP Gold

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    :facepalm:

    :no: Carbs is never the solution.
     
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  4. walterHwhite

    walterHwhite Heisenberg

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    Flying Spaghetti Monster !!!

    [​IMG]
     
  5. Chrisboom

    Chrisboom Well-Known Member

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    Americans don't care about world problems . Black Friday and Thanksgiving travel will get more coverage from the U.S. media here..pathetic.
     
  6. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP

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    word of advice: do Black Friday and Black Monday online this year: stay out of the shopping centers - its very easy to blow up a Macy's or a large mall.
     
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  7. GLguygardner

    GLguygardner "That guy's the drizzling shits!" VIP Gold

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    This will all be forgotten in about 3 days.
     
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  8. redshirt

    redshirt Well-Known Member

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    Church of the Subgenius ftw

    [​IMG]
     
  9. RH Goatcabin

    RH Goatcabin Notable Member VIP

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    Beer volcanoes and stripper factories :backlol:
     
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  10. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP

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    which do you want to go to? 72 virgins who don't know how to do anything, as your reward for killing innocents, or beer volcanoes and and an endless supply of strippers just for existing and killing nobody?
     
  11. RH Goatcabin

    RH Goatcabin Notable Member VIP

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    The latter
     
  12. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP

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    its been a long long time since i've known any virgins within my age range, and the ones i remember were high emotional maint for nothing.
     
  13. doughhead63

    doughhead63 OD'd on life itself Staff Member

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    Believing in a "higher power" :nojj:
     
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  14. gilaet

    gilaet Zen As Fuck Gold

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    Please don't mock my pasta God.
     
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  15. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP

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    does He look like a higher power to you?
    [​IMG]
    granted you might be jealous of the size of his noodly appendages, but that's nothing to be ashamed about.
     
  16. doughhead63

    doughhead63 OD'd on life itself Staff Member

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    He is as believable as any godlike entity.

    :lookatme:
     
  17. yosemite sam

    yosemite sam VIP Extreme Gold

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    Your god goes good with marinara and meatballs.
     
  18. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP

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    and he directly contributes to our well-being by providing meals, beer, and strippers.
     
  19. doughhead63

    doughhead63 OD'd on life itself Staff Member

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    I may have rethink this atheist thing.
     
  20. BaddFunn

    BaddFunn Kick ass fuck yeah VIP

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    what's a beer volcano?