In the wake of the tragedy in Paris, this is the time we change

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by newcastlefan, Nov 14, 2015.

  1. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP

    Reputations:
    41,522
    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2011
    Messages:
    71,408
    Likes Received:
    29,531
    Everyone has to look towards the only religion that can stand up to the insane militant muslims.

    Islam cannot contain their aberrant since their own bible advocates murder.

    Judaism & Christianity cannot confront them, unless we all agree to fully support the efforts, and so far we cannot even agree on the time of day.

    Pastafaria is the religion of last resort: islam promises its murderous followers 72 virgins when they die. Big deal: The Church of the FSM's heaven has beer volcanoes and stripper factories.

    Some religions hold that people were created by a deity; science demonstrates that people evolved from lower lifeforms, and evolution says humans and chimpanzees differ by only 3% of DNA. Pastafaria proves that people evolved from pirates because people and pirates share 99.999% common DNA. No other lifeforms are closer to people than pirates so Pastafaria is obviously the most accurate and true.

    Religions claim their followers can only eat certain foods at certain times of the year. Pastafaria requires that The FSM's followers eat foods at all times of the year, followed before and after by strippers and beer.

    Knowing all this, which religion has the best chance of making the most people happy for the most time?

    It is time that we all follow Pastafaria so that He will lay his noodly appendages to solve all our problems. After all He boiled for our sins.

    [​IMG]
     
    Psycho2, doughhead63 and walterHwhite like this.
  2. larryluncg

    larryluncg Fuck you, that's my name VIP Gold

    Reputations:
    80,562
    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2012
    Messages:
    15,902
    Likes Received:
    15,340
    What's he saying Robin?
     
  3. Nunz

    Nunz Lar's lurking(# 11a). VIP Gold

    Reputations:
    29,422
    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2011
    Messages:
    12,589
    Likes Received:
    21,509
    :facepalm:

    :no: Carbs is never the solution.
     
    BethsFeet and wensday like this.
  4. walterHwhite

    walterHwhite Heisenberg

    Reputations:
    4,387
    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2014
    Messages:
    8,850
    Likes Received:
    5,724
    Flying Spaghetti Monster !!!

    [​IMG]
     
  5. Chrisboom

    Chrisboom Well-Known Member Banned User

    Reputations:
    -4,661
    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2014
    Messages:
    3,230
    Likes Received:
    4,893
    Americans don't care about world problems . Black Friday and Thanksgiving travel will get more coverage from the U.S. media here..pathetic.
     
  6. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP

    Reputations:
    41,522
    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2011
    Messages:
    71,408
    Likes Received:
    29,531
    word of advice: do Black Friday and Black Monday online this year: stay out of the shopping centers - its very easy to blow up a Macy's or a large mall.
     
    walterHwhite likes this.
  7. GLguygardner

    GLguygardner "I break bread, ribs, hundred dollar bills..."

    Reputations:
    55,964
    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2010
    Messages:
    16,072
    Likes Received:
    38,799
    This will all be forgotten in about 3 days.
     
    JesusTwins and Chrisboom like this.
  8. redshirt

    redshirt Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    9,963
    Joined:
    May 28, 2012
    Messages:
    6,565
    Likes Received:
    6,776
    Church of the Subgenius ftw

    [​IMG]
     
  9. RH Goatcabin

    RH Goatcabin Vice POTY VIP

    Reputations:
    80,257
    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2010
    Messages:
    104,241
    Likes Received:
    36,667
    Beer volcanoes and stripper factories :backlol:
     
    NipplesAndToes23 likes this.
  10. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP

    Reputations:
    41,522
    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2011
    Messages:
    71,408
    Likes Received:
    29,531
    which do you want to go to? 72 virgins who don't know how to do anything, as your reward for killing innocents, or beer volcanoes and and an endless supply of strippers just for existing and killing nobody?
     
  11. RH Goatcabin

    RH Goatcabin Vice POTY VIP

    Reputations:
    80,257
    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2010
    Messages:
    104,241
    Likes Received:
    36,667
    The latter
     
  12. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP

    Reputations:
    41,522
    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2011
    Messages:
    71,408
    Likes Received:
    29,531
    its been a long long time since i've known any virgins within my age range, and the ones i remember were high emotional maint for nothing.
     
  13. doughhead63

    doughhead63 OD'd on life itself Staff Member

    Reputations:
    45,523
    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2010
    Messages:
    37,393
    Likes Received:
    16,201
    Believing in a "higher power" :nojj:
     
    newcastlefan likes this.
  14. gilaet

    gilaet mind wandering... Staff Member

    Reputations:
    49,652
    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2010
    Messages:
    99,582
    Likes Received:
    35,706
    Please don't mock my pasta God.
     
    newcastlefan likes this.
  15. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP

    Reputations:
    41,522
    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2011
    Messages:
    71,408
    Likes Received:
    29,531
    does He look like a higher power to you?
    [​IMG]
    granted you might be jealous of the size of his noodly appendages, but that's nothing to be ashamed about.
     
  16. doughhead63

    doughhead63 OD'd on life itself Staff Member

    Reputations:
    45,523
    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2010
    Messages:
    37,393
    Likes Received:
    16,201

    He is as believable as any godlike entity.

    :lookatme:
     
  17. yosemite sam

    yosemite sam Camel Jockey

    Reputations:
    3
    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2012
    Messages:
    27,340
    Likes Received:
    20,342
    Your god goes good with marinara and meatballs.
     
  18. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP

    Reputations:
    41,522
    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2011
    Messages:
    71,408
    Likes Received:
    29,531
    and he directly contributes to our well-being by providing meals, beer, and strippers.
     
  19. doughhead63

    doughhead63 OD'd on life itself Staff Member

    Reputations:
    45,523
    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2010
    Messages:
    37,393
    Likes Received:
    16,201
    I may have rethink this atheist thing.
     
  20. BaddFunn

    BaddFunn Kick ass fuck yeah VIP

    Reputations:
    24,247
    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2012
    Messages:
    37,159
    Likes Received:
    19,045
    what's a beer volcano?