In this thread I will complain about my coworkers

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Mark Mayonnaise, Feb 14, 2014.

  1. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP

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    Two of them in particular

    One of them is annoying just because he's stupid and oblivious. He's the kind of guy who can't see a conversation happening anywhere within 200 yards of him without walking right up and joining it, completely uninvited. I fuckin HATE that. Doesn't matter who is talking, doesn't matter what it's about. He has this attitude like "HEY I'M ONE OF THE GUYS, DERP! :smile:" and he is to an extent, but Jesus fuck. I will be talking to a coworker about something totally unrelated to work, something from either of our social lives, etc, and he will eavesdrop from ten feet away until he hears someone say something that he can jump on, and immediately he is cutting us off to interject his opinions. I can't tell you how many times I've seen him just walk up to two people, having a conversation that had literally nothing to do with him, and just stand there, forming a triangle of annoyance, to laugh and kiss ass and act like a general retard.

    The other is a nightmare of personal hygiene. He used to smell on hot days, just of B.O., but that phase passed a while ago. Maybe someone talked to him, who knows. The big problem now is that pretty much every person here has seen him do something gross, and when all our stories of him combine, it makes for a disgusting individual indeed. About half the office has seen him scratching his ass by DIGGING IN IT, HAND DOWN THE BACK OF HIS PANTS, HIS FINGERS CLEARLY INSIDE HIS ASSCRACK. In plain view of people. Hand washing does not follow. The real bugaboo in all this is when community or "pot luck" food is involved, I.E., today. He will put his hands all over it, he will eat off serving spoons and then PUT THEM BACK IN THE BOWL/POT, he is just fucking gross. We've actually taken to hiding food from him, or avoiding bringing it in when he is here. Today, for example, we got 2 pizzas. We ordered them when he was out of earshot and picked them up, hurried them back, and scarfed them down all while he was away at lunch. Then we hid them in a place we believe he won't find them, and he comes back all like SNIFF SNIFF SAY THAT SMELLS LIKE PIZZA SNIFF SNIFF and literally spent about 10 minutes hunting for it.

    Here is a picture of Emma Roberts


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  2. Kanye West

    Kanye West Yeezus! Gold

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    didnt read :dancin:
     
  3. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP

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    Well it's not exactly your native tongue, taco bender
     
  4. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter Gold

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    Holy shit! I'm not reading that!
     
  5. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP

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    Oh thank God, this thread is saved :pray:
     
  6. h5htyt76757j

    h5htyt76757j Chyea Chyea Banned User

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    Hey Schmoopy, what are your plans for the weekend?
     
  7. freds

    freds you broke it VIP

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    "digging ass crack down his pants"?



    just shoot him.
     
  8. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter Gold

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    I'm not gonna answer Clutch.:cwl:
     
  9. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP

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    Holy fuck

    You think Miss Chriza would let me go to this


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  10. Danas Boyfrien

    Danas Boyfrien Mediocre Negro Gold

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    What do you do for a living?
     
  11. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP

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    I am so not answering this for a seven billionth time :endit:
     
  12. freds

    freds you broke it VIP

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    Hey schmoopy, do you dig asscrack down your pants?
     
  13. Swedish John

    Swedish John I'm your huckleberry

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  14. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter Gold

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    She might be attracted to your gf. You never know....
     
  15. Danas Boyfrien

    Danas Boyfrien Mediocre Negro Gold

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    Okay, I'll just have to make assumptions then. You should hide you coworker's mop the next time he joins your conversation.
     
  16. Kanye West

    Kanye West Yeezus! Gold

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    go anyways flapjack tits
     
  17. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter Gold

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    You too:lol:
     
  18. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP

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    Oh God if I could make that happen :jerk:
     
  19. Swedish John

    Swedish John I'm your huckleberry

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    Ooooooh custom cd players. Sign me up.
     
  20. freds

    freds you broke it VIP

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    i think Chriza works for a government intelligence agency.