Instructions for Noobs...

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Nurse Remulak, Apr 9, 2013.

  1. Nurse Remulak

    Nurse Remulak New Member

    Dec 25, 2012
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    Just a public service announcement for those who are too shy to ask.

    You will need the following supplies:

    1 bottle of KY warm sensation, personal liquid lubricant.
    1 roll of duct tape.
    1 bottle of Detol. (which is an alcoholic disinfectant)
    1 small to medium sized hamster.

    Try to buy the most energetic hamster, you will understand the reasoning behind this later. Dillute the detol in a bucket of water to kill off any harmful infections that may be on the hamster's skin, but make sure to avoid the hamster’s facial area, as we don't want to kill him yet. For the face, carefully use an alcohol pad. After he is clean, dry him off. Once that is done, apply a medium coat of the KY warm sensations liquid lubricant all over the hamster’s sexy little body.

    Before doing anything else be sure to keep the duct tape close by.. and leave the end of the tape a little open, so you can easily pull a strip later. (You might have to do the first part of the taping with one hand.)

    Now, grab him from the middle and start to slowly insert that cute lil' critter into your ass.. butt-first. This way, you'll be sure not to suffocate him too early. Use your free hand to kind of open up your bunghole and help slide the hamster in. As soon as you get the hamster fully inserted, use your index and middle finger to apply some gentle pressure to the hamster's head and push him in a bit more.

    Now, with your free hand, grab the duct tape. As soon as you take your fingers out of your ass, you must quickly push the duct-tape in, covering the anus. Once you get the first piece of tape in, just continue wrapping around the pelvis in a crisscross pattern, going between the legs and such.

    Now, the real fun begins!!! When hamster starts fighting, thrashing around, and trying to escape. Luckily the duct tape holds him in securely and the thrashing around feels marvelous. Combined with the warming lubricant, it is simply breathtaking. Once the hamster stops fighting, (which usually takes anywhere from five to seven minutes,) you can be pretty sure the hamster has expired. Unwrap the tape and shit him out. Wrap him in a plastic bag, and throw him away.

    Hope that helps. :hat:

    Maybe this can be a sticky.

  2. Stevie

    Stevie Now go...Ohm.

    Sep 3, 2010
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