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Is this a portion of almonds?

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Quite Frankly, Feb 19, 2013.

  1. Quite Frankly

    Quite Frankly Well-Known Member

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    Right after Christmas I got bronchitis and Googled how to get over it (if you don't have health insurance), and almonds came up as one of the miracle cures- they seemed to help, and I'm trying to eat them regularly now. Although tasty, they do stick to your teeth and it certainly seems like they make your bowels go a little haywire- Beth could benefit from that, oh so much. She should join her special fella in a portion of almonds after dinner every afternoon at about 5 o'clock.

    They say this container has NINE portions? That means that what you see in these pics (26 almonds) is actually not even a full portion. Maybe it's a little secret that elderly people like Howard hold closely: prune juice is too pathetic/obvious so they use almonds for a full colon cleanse (no wonder he uses so many baby wipes).

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  2. telecaster

    telecaster Get Yer Ya Ya's Out Gold

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    I received a tin of smoked almonds and other assorted nuts for Xmas and ate them like crazy. The shit that I'd take was like creamy peanut butter the next day if I sat there the night before and drank beer all night. I've gotta put those things back in the cupboard and out of sight or I'll eat the whole thing.
     
  3. knu3421

    knu3421 Well-Known Member VIP

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    Almond joys got nuts mounds don't
     
  4. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP

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    take your hand and hold it palm up. now cup it as if you are holding a boob. a normal boob, not a RM sized boob. now fill your cupped palm with almonds. thats about 4 oz of cooked rice or 2 oz of almonds. 2oz of shelled nuts is usually one serving.

    before my surgery, an RM boob-size was one portion of nuts, which is why i needed the surgery.
     
  5. UncaDollas

    UncaDollas Well-Known Member Shot Dead

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  6. SouthernListen

    SouthernListen I got them "Paul Walker Eyes" VIP

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    I just tossed 3 jars of Jiff in the garabage. Thanks.
     
  7. BudBudha

    BudBudha Male Underwear Model

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    The almond bloom has started here in the San Joaquin Valley :tadah:

    Here's a vid so you guys see where your food comes from:
    [video=youtube_share;CSZmxU1pc4A]http://youtu.be/CSZmxU1pc4A[/video]
     
  8. Tans Lover

    Tans Lover Active Member

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    I ate a whole tin of plain almonds last Wednesday night then went straight to bed. Woke up in the morning feeling shitty, puked out a bunch of chewed almonds, and went to work. They are addictive when you start eating them but beware.
     
  9. Avery

    Avery Well-Known Member

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    My shit looks like a marbled brown steak when I eat a bunch of pistachios.
     
  10. Avery

    Avery Well-Known Member

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    Where are the amazing immigrants that prevent me from starving to death!? :bigcry:
     
  11. BudBudha

    BudBudha Male Underwear Model

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    They mostly pick lettuce, tree fruit, and table/raisin grapes. Most nut crops and all of my wine grape acreage are machine harvested.

    Once the farmworkers figure out that working ag is bust ass labor then they hit the cities for minimum wage or just pop out kids for the endless welfare so every engineer in this valley is designing some cool shit.

    The big cantaloupe town of Mendota has 40% unemployment but much of that is due to our environmental friends turning off the water. Rather than farming some excellent ground, we'll just import more fruit & tomatoes from Mexico :facepalm:
     
  12. Vashier

    Vashier VIP Extreme Gold

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    Awwww man, aint nobody gots time for the bronchitis!
     
  13. Avery

    Avery Well-Known Member

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    My brain just blew up because I only listen to NPR and MSNBC. /sarc