It hasn't been spoken in public before. It's happened to you. Your secret shame.

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by gwartney, Jan 18, 2013.

  1. gwartney

    gwartney Is there gas in the car? Gold

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    I'm speaking, of course, of toilet paper breakthrough. You finish your movement with what you think is a clean break. You're back there cleaning things up. Shouldn't be too much, after all, you felt it plop in. By the time you realize it's a little more liquidy than you thought, it's too late. First your dominant cleaning finger rips through. The momentum pulls a couple more into the abyss. You instantly pull your hand away but it's too late.
    You give your hand a good look, maybe sniff it a couple of times to be sure then look up toward the sky and scream "Why Me!" at the top of your lungs. You have to be careful if you're the type that uses his or her hands for emphasis when talking.

    You successfully avoided changing your kid's diaper the whole 10 years he was wearing them for this exact reason. But Karma got you tonight. After you clean up, you keep sniffing your fingers. Is it your imagination or is there still some odorous evidence? What are you going to do if someone tries to give you a sandwich to eat? What if your wife says something while you are laying in bed tonight?:c
     
  2. Boss Ono

    Boss Ono New Member Banned User

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  3. jackie the jerk

    jackie the jerk Not Mexican VIP

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    Shitty thread

    (I see what I did there)
     
  4. Phil McKrakin

    Phil McKrakin AKA Howie VIP

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  5. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter Gold

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    :fail::lol:
     
  6. Artie Laugh

    Artie Laugh **** VIP

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    This is just a huge pile of :shit::shit::shit::shit:
     
  7. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter Gold

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  8. Capn Crud

    Capn Crud The Pride of Cucamonga VIP Gold

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    [video=youtube;qfRazBKBUc8]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qfRazBKBUc8&feature=player_embedded[/video]
     
  9. Phil McKrakin

    Phil McKrakin AKA Howie VIP

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  10. Reggae Mistress

    Reggae Mistress Old Catcher's Mitt

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    Shit doesn't scare me :hhh:
     
  11. Skyway

    Skyway New Member VIP

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    I stopped reading at "maybe sniff it a couple of times."
     
  12. Daveindiego

    Daveindiego Confirmed Internet Legend Banned User

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    This has never once happened to me, you fucking fecal freak. :c