It hasn't been spoken in public before. It's happened to you. Your secret shame.

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by gwartney, Jan 18, 2013.

  1. gwartney

    gwartney Unafilliated Gold

    Reputations:
    103,074
    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2010
    Messages:
    42,906
    Likes Received:
    15,339
    I'm speaking, of course, of toilet paper breakthrough. You finish your movement with what you think is a clean break. You're back there cleaning things up. Shouldn't be too much, after all, you felt it plop in. By the time you realize it's a little more liquidy than you thought, it's too late. First your dominant cleaning finger rips through. The momentum pulls a couple more into the abyss. You instantly pull your hand away but it's too late.
    You give your hand a good look, maybe sniff it a couple of times to be sure then look up toward the sky and scream "Why Me!" at the top of your lungs. You have to be careful if you're the type that uses his or her hands for emphasis when talking.

    You successfully avoided changing your kid's diaper the whole 10 years he was wearing them for this exact reason. But Karma got you tonight. After you clean up, you keep sniffing your fingers. Is it your imagination or is there still some odorous evidence? What are you going to do if someone tries to give you a sandwich to eat? What if your wife says something while you are laying in bed tonight?:c
     
  2. Boss Ono

    Boss Ono New Member Banned User

    Reputations:
    -6
    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2010
    Messages:
    21,398
    Likes Received:
    0
  3. jackie the jerk

    jackie the jerk Not Mexican VIP

    Reputations:
    1,791
    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2010
    Messages:
    16,495
    Likes Received:
    159
    Shitty thread

    (I see what I did there)
     
  4. Phil McKrakin

    Phil McKrakin AKA Howie POTY The Bar VIP

    Reputations:
    302,052
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2012
    Messages:
    80,161
    Likes Received:
    26,922
  5. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter

    Reputations:
    216,454
    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2010
    Messages:
    211,015
    Likes Received:
    33,726
    :fail::lol:
     
  6. Artie Laugh

    Artie Laugh ****

    Reputations:
    62,255
    Joined:
    May 10, 2012
    Messages:
    6,505
    Likes Received:
    4,954
    This is just a huge pile of :shit::shit::shit::shit:
     
  7. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter

    Reputations:
    216,454
    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2010
    Messages:
    211,015
    Likes Received:
    33,726
  8. Capn Crud

    Capn Crud The Pride of Cucamonga VIP Gold

    Reputations:
    92,002
    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2011
    Messages:
    63,497
    Likes Received:
    8,346
    [video=youtube;qfRazBKBUc8]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qfRazBKBUc8&feature=player_embedded[/video]
     
  9. Phil McKrakin

    Phil McKrakin AKA Howie POTY The Bar VIP

    Reputations:
    302,052
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2012
    Messages:
    80,161
    Likes Received:
    26,922
  10. Reggae Mistress

    Reggae Mistress Old Catcher's Mitt

    Reputations:
    202,543
    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2012
    Messages:
    21,391
    Likes Received:
    4,955
    Shit doesn't scare me :hhh:
     
  11. Skyway

    Skyway New Member VIP

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2013
    Messages:
    1,503
    Likes Received:
    0
    I stopped reading at "maybe sniff it a couple of times."
     
  12. Daveindiego

    Daveindiego Confirmed Internet Legend Gold

    Reputations:
    450,249
    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2010
    Messages:
    75,038
    Likes Received:
    29,547
    This has never once happened to me, you fucking fecal freak. :c