It's gonna be one of those fucking daze.....

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by monsoon, Dec 2, 2014.

  1. monsoon

    monsoon Who are you with?

    Reputations:
    89,972
    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2012
    Messages:
    3,703
    Likes Received:
    14,730
    So you guys know I got really drunk and cut the fuck outta my foot so I'm stuck at home..and it's raining.
    Peopoe in Ca. freak when it rains so I stay in...I hear the cleaning service come in my house, i'm in the game room.
    I'm not supposed to be at home, usually at the barn this time...


    SO GET FUCKING THIS:argh:

    I went into my bedroom and this chick is sitting at my vanity and has my nail box out and is doing her fucking nails with all my shit...so the bitch see's me and jumps up..dropping a bottle of opi blackest black nailpolish...it hits the travertine floor and just fucking explodes..coincidentally so did I...it was everywhere...all over my new WHITE linen chair and it fucking nailed my pink
    PAMELA ANDERSON to the knee UGG boots..........:argh:

    Like I will ever find another fucking pair...So stupid bitch grabs the cotton and acetone and proceeds to try to clean up
    a spilt bottle of fucking black nail polish. who would guess I wear black nail polish..taking the sealer off my fucking stone....I just lost it....
    So i'm screaming get the fuck out of my house now you stupid bitches...I'm moving in rage and fucked my foot even
    more b/c of this stupid lazy stealing bitch...
    So while this is happening...............

    Holy shit...I look outside and there's a fucking huge egret trolling my fucking fishpond....I bust my ass on that thing..
    I have bullfrogs I raised from tadpoles and shit like that...I jump up to save my fish..this bird had no fear. I fucked
    my mother fucking foot up and now it hurts like holy hell...I'm smoking a fatty and waiting for the 2 extra vicodin es to fucking work...slamming coffee.

    fuck these things come in 3's.................:blabla:

    Seriously everybody...god fucking dammit.....I'm so flipping pissed..
    My Dobes are hiding.........:facepalm:...

    Stern related cause I wish this happened to moooose and not me cause I'm a fucking good person...

    right:pissedoff:

    f-mutt
     
    Slickwoody, kippy, babybear and 7 others like this.
  2. h89fvh8dfha8hfv9a0

    h89fvh8dfha8hfv9a0 Xavier's water boy Banned User

    Reputations:
    28,165
    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2012
    Messages:
    6,588
    Likes Received:
    4,823
    White people problems
     
    Lester, Wesmantooth, ARM and 3 others like this.
  3. R.P. McMurphy

    R.P. McMurphy Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    199,092
    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2012
    Messages:
    41,581
    Likes Received:
    40,972
    ...so wag your finger and get some dude to come over and help you get the poison out. oh does this maid service have any insurance?
     
    monsoon likes this.
  4. Thikken Vaney

    Thikken Vaney What's everyone looking at?

    Reputations:
    79,857
    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2014
    Messages:
    2,927
    Likes Received:
    2,875
    That'll teach your ass to fake it and stay home from work.
     
    monsoon likes this.
  5. monsoon

    monsoon Who are you with?

    Reputations:
    89,972
    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2012
    Messages:
    3,703
    Likes Received:
    14,730
    I'm so flipping mad...I feel violated...what else have they been doing. Oh yeah I already went nuts on the Company.
    Waiting to hear back...my chair was new...the boots old but their iconic to someone like me...
    Threw away all my nail stuff...yuck.



    f-mutt
     
    XaltedSmoke likes this.
  6. h89fvh8dfha8hfv9a0

    h89fvh8dfha8hfv9a0 Xavier's water boy Banned User

    Reputations:
    28,165
    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2012
    Messages:
    6,588
    Likes Received:
    4,823
    #WouldBang
     
    XaltedSmoke and monsoon like this.
  7. R.P. McMurphy

    R.P. McMurphy Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    199,092
    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2012
    Messages:
    41,581
    Likes Received:
    40,972
    ...do you know any lawyers? i bet you do.
     
    monsoon likes this.
  8. Thikken Vaney

    Thikken Vaney What's everyone looking at?

    Reputations:
    79,857
    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2014
    Messages:
    2,927
    Likes Received:
    2,875
    If you think you feel violated now, wait until next time you decide to play hookey from work.

    I'm going to have the mexi-crew over to shoot ropes all over your pillows, toothbrushes, curtains, inside food containers, and ON your toilet seat.

    Then mail you the tape of it
     
    AllAboutHim Ed and monsoon like this.
  9. meanredhed

    meanredhed Well-Known Member VIP Gold

    Reputations:
    184,941
    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2012
    Messages:
    7,631
    Likes Received:
    19,979
    Well, now I don't feel so bad about dropping a full bag of fucking flour on my floor. That sucks Monsoon and it should have happened to Beth.
     
    Caffeinated and monsoon like this.
  10. monsoon

    monsoon Who are you with?

    Reputations:
    89,972
    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2012
    Messages:
    3,703
    Likes Received:
    14,730
    :bug:


    f-mutt
     
  11. monsoon

    monsoon Who are you with?

    Reputations:
    89,972
    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2012
    Messages:
    3,703
    Likes Received:
    14,730
    I'm starting to think I should have gone with klonopin instead of vicodin...

    f-mutt
     
  12. Blur

    Blur Alumnus

    Reputations:
    74,772
    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2014
    Messages:
    6,434
    Likes Received:
    9,574
    Remember: insist only on genuine Fucking Flour(tm) for all your baking needs.
     
  13. R.P. McMurphy

    R.P. McMurphy Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    199,092
    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2012
    Messages:
    41,581
    Likes Received:
    40,972

    ...was it pre sifted gold medal?
     
    meanredhed and monsoon like this.
  14. Jayla

    Jayla Ou ai-je l'esprit? Gold

    Reputations:
    815,321
    Joined:
    May 12, 2013
    Messages:
    31,256
    Likes Received:
    65,225
    Funny. That's pretty much EXACTLY how my morning went too. Uncanny.
     
  15. The Booey

    The Booey Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    112,355
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    11,162
    Likes Received:
    21,175
    You made me think of The Witches of Eastwick...

    Jack Nicholson: You haven't seen any snowy egrets around here, have you? Not that I would know a snowy egret if I were pissing on one. Lunch?

    Cher: I think it's a little late in the season.

    Jack Nicholson: For lunch?

    Cher: No, pissing on birds.
     
    Jayla and greenchiclets like this.
  16. meanredhed

    meanredhed Well-Known Member VIP Gold

    Reputations:
    184,941
    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2012
    Messages:
    7,631
    Likes Received:
    19,979
    It was Robin Hood enriched & pre-sifted All Purpose flour
     
  17. R.P. McMurphy

    R.P. McMurphy Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    199,092
    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2012
    Messages:
    41,581
    Likes Received:
    40,972
    ...oh the robin hood. that shit gets everywhere. what a mess.
     
    meanredhed likes this.
  18. meanredhed

    meanredhed Well-Known Member VIP Gold

    Reputations:
    184,941
    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2012
    Messages:
    7,631
    Likes Received:
    19,979
    Yup. Not as bad as black nail polish though.
     
    Petal, Jayla and R.P. McMurphy like this.
  19. Thikken Vaney

    Thikken Vaney What's everyone looking at?

    Reputations:
    79,857
    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2014
    Messages:
    2,927
    Likes Received:
    2,875
    You have a choice?
     
  20. R.P. McMurphy

    R.P. McMurphy Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    199,092
    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2012
    Messages:
    41,581
    Likes Received:
    40,972
    ...id like to have someone come here and clean too but i dont trust anybody. monsoon has every reason to be livid.
     
    Petal and meanredhed like this.