ITT - convert me to a religion (POLL Included)

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Diogenes1, Apr 16, 2014.

?

Convert me to a religion

Poll closed Apr 21, 2014.
  1. Shintoism

    7.7%
  2. Jaininism

    15.4%
  3. Confucianism

    7.7%
  4. Bahaism

    7.7%
  5. Judaism

    30.8%
  6. Sikhism

    7.7%
  7. Buddhism

    23.1%
  8. Hinduism

    7.7%
  9. Islam

    30.8%
  10. Christianity

    30.8%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. Diogenes1

    Diogenes1 VIP Extreme Gold

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    I am spiritually destitute . . .

    I feel as empty as Ned Beatty's asshole in Deliverance.

    Please convert me to a religion of your choice.

    Only 10 are chosen to make my decision simple.
     
  2. RH Goatcabin

    RH Goatcabin Notable Member VIP

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    Botulism
     
  3. P-B

    P-B Honourary Canuck Gold

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    The People's Temple
     
  4. RH Goatcabin

    RH Goatcabin Notable Member VIP

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    Ned Beatty's asshole wasn't empty in Deliverance, it was full of hillybilly cark. :grad:
     
  5. nazdrowie

    nazdrowie Sultan of Sweat Gold

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    shut up
     
  6. Diogenes1

    Diogenes1 VIP Extreme Gold

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    dissenters will be kicked out on their atheistic asses

    do not make a mockery of this
     
  7. Diogenes1

    Diogenes1 VIP Extreme Gold

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    that cark emptied him of his bowels and his dignity and kickstarted a very fine acting career.
     
  8. RH Goatcabin

    RH Goatcabin Notable Member VIP

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    Marry me. :nojj:
     
  9. Satori Brah

    Satori Brah Well-Known Member

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    Gold Sponsoranity :dontknow:
     
  10. Diogenes1

    Diogenes1 VIP Extreme Gold

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    remember when that old man that wouldn't drive the cars to Aintrie started dancing to the banjo playing?
















































































































    yeah, that was cool . . .
     
  11. Stevie

    Stevie Now go...Ohm.

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    Scientology
     
  12. Mur

    Mur soon

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    Jehovah Witness:fil:
     
  13. Mlaw

    Mlaw Quite Contrarian Gold

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    If I were going to choose a religion, it would be Quaker---no middlemen
     
  14. Diogenes1

    Diogenes1 VIP Extreme Gold

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    everybody wants me to stay a soulless heathen
     
  15. Scott

    Scott Masshole Staff Member

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    Onanism.
     
  16. harlock

    harlock ancora imparo Gold

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    just be a pagan :dontknow:
     
  17. geo

    geo Well-Known Member

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    I worship at the church.........of baseball. :yes:
     
  18. Diogenes1

    Diogenes1 VIP Extreme Gold

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    corporate baseball?
     
  19. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP

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    I believe you should re-become a Jew: you will still feel like shit, still feel guilty, and still be desperate for attention (so you won't have to make a big adjustment in your lifestyle) but your income will increase dramatically so you will be better able to afford to assuage all these strong feelings and learn to blame them on dead people who, being dead, won't mind (or being brain-dead, like Dave, won't notice).
     
  20. Swedish John

    Swedish John I'm your huckleberry

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    I believe that you should convert to satanism.