Conspiracy ITT We discuss all the times we encountered the police and lived to tell about it -

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Willy Pfister, Sep 27, 2016.

  1. Willy Pfister

    Willy Pfister VIP Extreme Gold

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    I'll start

    It was early/mid April about 10 years ago, Masters week.

    I live in Georgia and the Masters is a pretty big deal.

    We didn't have tickets that year but I took the week off anyway and we had some out of town guests from up north. They'd come down to enjoy the weather, tee it up a few times, watch the golf, have some cocktails, and so on, you get the picture.

    Anywho, it was Wednesday night (really Thursday morning) and we'd just gotten home from the bars. Three couples, everybody is well tuned up.

    I had a bunch of (at that time illegal) fireworks. I started launching mortars of my back deck. I lived at the top of a hill, above a river valley and the acoustics were tits. A boom was amplified, a big boom, deafening.

    After about a dozen, I see headlights coming up my driveway.

    I'm thinking it's: A) a neighbor coming by to tell me to knock it off. B) a neighbor coming to join the fun or C) the cops

    It was C

    He comes around the back side of my house (everyone else ran inside like teenagers at a kegger), flashlight out and hand on the butt of his sidearm.

    "Let me see your hands!"

    (The cat had to be nervous, it was a rural neighborhood. 5-10 acre lots, wooded and the call may well have been for gun shots...)

    I held my hands up and stayed still.

    Once he knew I wasn't a dickhole, he removed his hand from his weapon. He said, "number one, it's 3 o'clock in the morning, number two, it's Wednesday, number three, fireworks are illegal in Georgia. I believe I'm not out of line by asking you to stop"

    I said, "you're right, I'll call it a night"

    He left.

    I didn't shoot any more mortars.

    No one died.

    Who's next?

    ,
     
  2. Rod-Stroker

    Rod-Stroker Streptococcus Gingivitis Halllllllllllllitosis

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    I shot a man in Reno just to watch him bleed
    I got the Folsom state blues
     
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  3. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal Oh, that's a nice headlock, sir. VIP

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    The best folk in the world are prison folk, Rod.
     
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  4. Scott

    Scott Masshole Staff Member

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    I was 18 years old, had a full time job and a brand new Pontiac Firebird (it was the 80s, fuck off) I went to a bar that served anyone with money in Dorchester. On my way home, I shouldn't have been driving but whatever. I got pulled over. I thought I was going to get a DUI. Suddenly there were about 9 cruisers surrounding my car and they were on the loud speaker instructing me to put one hand on the top of the car and open the door with the other etc. There were at least 10 Boston cops surrounding me with their weapons drawn. I nearly pooped in my pants.

    I got out and they had me lay prone and they cuffed me. They frisked me and tore my car apart and then came back and told me that they were looking for a similar car in the area driven by a white male who made threats on a CB radio and said he had a gun and was going to shoot someone. They told me to put my car back together and go home. I don't even think they noticed that I was shitfaced and underage.

    Not only did I not have a gun, I didn't have a CB radio.
     
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  5. hoochieking

    hoochieking Well-Known Member

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    He should have shot you. Only a true douchebag shoots off fireworks at 3am.
     
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  6. Stretch5000

    Stretch5000 Well-Known Member

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    I had an officer draw his gun on me during a routine traffic stop when I was a teenager. It was my fault though. Took me way too long to figure that out.
     
  7. Hugh Blowmont

    Hugh Blowmont Just be funny

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    When stopped by police, I am protected by my good manners and my white privilege.
     
  8. HowardsPrenup

    HowardsPrenup Well-Known Member

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  9. beetlejosh

    beetlejosh I got a head that's large Gold

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