ITT: we post awkward sexual moments (100% srs) (homo/no homo)

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Satori Brah, Feb 26, 2012.

  1. Satori Brah

    Satori Brah Well-Known Member

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    I was 18 and banging my hot new girlfriend for the first time. Right when I was about to cum, she's like:

    "Don't cum inside me...I'm not on the pill!"

    I was pretty drunk, so I pull out and shot this tremendous load all over her parents curtains....lol

    :facepalm:
     
  2. blairg

    blairg loving Mari VIP

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    I was about 16, wearing a condom and I came, me and the chick were pretty close so we were all cuddling while I was still inside, then I pulled out and the condom had broke :facepalm: Next thing I know she's all on the toilet trying to push it out and I'm taking her to walk in clinics and shit.
     
  3. PullMyFinger

    PullMyFinger Hors d'oeuvre Addict 2010 OG VIP

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    So the eating your own cum wasn't the first thing that would pop into your head in this thread? :facepalm: :c
     
  4. Super Mario

    Super Mario Well-Known Member

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    :jj: straight problems.
     
  5. SIPAWITZ

    SIPAWITZ Bialy Whore Banned User

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    lol!!!

    zinggggg
     
  6. Super Mario

    Super Mario Well-Known Member

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    I hate telling this but...

    I brought this really butch dude back to my own apartment and we go in to the kitchen and we start making out. a few minutes later he just pulls his head back and SPITS directly in my face!!!

    I was in complete shock and my first thought was Oh my god I just brought home a gay basher!! I punched him right in his nose and he said What the fuck are you doing?!!? I thought you would like that? I said why the fuck would you think I like that?!!?

    I went over and grabbed a towel for my face and gave him one because his nose started bleeding I said Hey man Im sorry but this is not going to work out you have to go.
     
  7. PullMyFinger

    PullMyFinger Hors d'oeuvre Addict 2010 OG VIP

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    :lol: That dude had issues.
     
  8. banksy

    banksy My fav chil VIP

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    drunk and banging my then girlfriend/now wife, I called her a hot co-worker's name :facepalm:
     
  9. banksy

    banksy My fav chil VIP

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    he's been hurted
     
  10. XuXu

    XuXu Well-Known Member Banned User

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    blairg=butthead?
     
  11. XuXu

    XuXu Well-Known Member Banned User

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    I can't believe she stayed with you after that, it would be a dealbreaker for me...lol
     
  12. PullMyFinger

    PullMyFinger Hors d'oeuvre Addict 2010 OG VIP

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    Did she catch it or let it go? I've done that a few times with women, but they never called me on it.
     
  13. banksy

    banksy My fav chil VIP

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    oh. she caught it. went to sleep drunk and blue-balled. next day was awkward, but she doesn't hold grudges. :happy:
     
  14. PullMyFinger

    PullMyFinger Hors d'oeuvre Addict 2010 OG VIP

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    Don't worry. Give her another 20 years and she'll bring it up. :c
     
  15. walleye

    walleye Active Member Banned User

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    Samething happened to me, gave myself a facial!
     
  16. Satori Brah

    Satori Brah Well-Known Member

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    :jj: she must have been on top

    I practically lept off the bed and sprayed all over the curtains. She was like: "Noooooooooooo!!!!!!" :nooo:
     
  17. PullMyFinger

    PullMyFinger Hors d'oeuvre Addict 2010 OG VIP

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    We're all friends here. You can tell the truth. Did you get any in your eye?
     
  18. keywordpk

    keywordpk Perpetual Geek Gold

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    What's so weird about a dude tasting his own cum? :c
     
  19. Super Mario

    Super Mario Well-Known Member

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    they have all tried it:secret:
     
  20. walleye

    walleye Active Member Banned User

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    Yes friend.