I've got a cock down to my knee

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Shithead, Aug 15, 2015.

  1. Shithead

    Shithead Well-Known Member

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    Husband dumped over penis tattoo stretching six-and-a-half inches down his leg after drunken prank
    Stuart Valentino, 34, got the X-rated inking on his thigh as a drunken joke but the prank backfired horribly
    • 1 Share

    [​IMG]
    Prank: Stuart Valentino got the tattoo as a drunken jape
    A husband has been kicked out by his wife after getting a comedy penis tattoo stretching halfway down his leg.

    Stuart Valentino, 34, got the X-rated inking on his thigh as a drunken joke but the prank backfired horribly.

    Wife Samantha, 35, decided she could take no more after it meant the family had to scrap a holiday and swimming trips with three-year-old daughter Ayla.

    Stuart, from Southsea, Hampshire, said: "My wife hates it. In retrospect, I'm not surprised, it really is the stupidest thing I've ever done.

    "After I did it, my wife woke up in the morning screaming, because there was this massive penis poking out of the duvet. And the tattoo on my leg.

    "It caused no end of rows, and she's now kicked me out of home. I deserve it, I suppose."



    SWNS [​IMG]
    Dumped: Samantha Valentino has kicked out prankster Stuart
    Samantha bought Stuart a tattoo gun as a Christmas present but immediately regretted the gift when he tattooed the six-and-a-half inch member down his thigh.

    He said: "After a boozy night me and my mate Danny both stupidly agreed to get the tattoos done on our legs.

    "Danny chickened out when he saw mine, but there was nothing I could do at that point."

    The father, who has other inkings across his arms and legs, said: "I didn't realise how it would hinder my life.

    "We had just begun taking our three-year-old daughter swimming, and I could no longer get involved because it looked as though my penis was poking out.

    "We wanted to plan a holiday, but the penis would be sticking out and when I was in boxer shorts it was a constant reminder to Samantha of how stupid I had been."



    SWNS [​IMG]
    'Stupid': Stuart says he regrets the home-wrecking tattoo
    Sam - mother to kids Callum, 16, Luke, 12, and Lana, 11 - from a previous relationship - ended their marriage last month, after almost seven solid months of rowing.

    Stuart added: "We argued non-stop. It would cost nearly £1,000 to remove, something that could have been spent on a family holiday.

    "Finally last month, Samantha announced she couldn't take it any longer, and left me.

    "I had no idea that a joke could ruin my life. I'm devastated I've lost my family, and frustrated with myself. I can't blame anyone else.

    "I have a constant reminder poking out of my shorts every day of how stupid I've been."
     
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  2. Shortwave98

    Shortwave98 A-Number 1 Banned User

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    What a dope!:rolleyes:
     
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  3. Mr Fantastic

    Mr Fantastic Found Nemo VIP

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  4. Cinnaminion

    Cinnaminion All Shadowy Light Gold

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    Sounds like there are likely a bzillion other reasons to leave this idiot.

    Besides, with his own tattoo equipment why not just tattoo over it instead of spending the cash to remove?

    Holy shit people are stupid. :coffee:


    Edited to give points to the OP for making me click with that title.
     
    Last edited: Aug 15, 2015
  5. Tipsey Russell

    Tipsey Russell VIP Extreme Gold

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    that chair or whatever is some type of blue

    and that shirt is something i believe only a gay man should attempt to wear
     
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  6. Notfunorfunny

    Notfunorfunny I Can Pull It

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    Fuck his wife. She needs a wide load warning sign on that ass. I hope he gets drunk and picks up some hot pussy with his new tatoo. Just sayin
     
  7. Pooh bear

    Pooh bear Well-Known Member VIP

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    Wtf?? :eek:
     
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  8. Slow

    Slow All The Pieces Matter DawgShed News

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    He could just buy long swim trunks. The wife was just looking for a reason to bail. She knew about his personality. This reeks of publicity stunt.
     
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  9. FishySausage

    FishySausage Original Nuttah VIP Gold

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  10. Snotty

    Snotty My Snothand be strong!!! VIP Gold

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    He's a Brit.......Those fuck sticks love them some speedo's
     
  11. IfTheyOnlyKnew

    IfTheyOnlyKnew VIP Extreme Gold

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    I think you meant "What a dick!"


    :giggle:
     
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  12. FishySausage

    FishySausage Original Nuttah VIP Gold

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  13. Limo Wreck

    Limo Wreck Aboard the great mothership Staff Member

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    You know, I was about to spoiler this... all the while thinking this guy knows better. :backlol2:
     
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  14. Weed

    Weed Well-Known Member

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    I suppose that the good news to come out of this story is that all of the people walking around with neck tattoos finally have someone who even they can make fun of.
     
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  15. Shithead

    Shithead Well-Known Member

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    WTF????????
     
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  16. Limo Wreck

    Limo Wreck Aboard the great mothership Staff Member

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    [​IMG]


    Happy 2nd wedding anniversary to my crazy fucker of a husband! love you like Kanye loves Kanye



    She had some sense of humor, this idiot probably just pushed her over the edge. She aint half bad for spitting out four kids.
     
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  17. Limo Wreck

    Limo Wreck Aboard the great mothership Staff Member

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    This guys FB page has videos of him brushing his teeth and shaving with a vibrating dick attached to his tooth brush and razor. I think hes obsessed with cock and yes its a slow day at work. :pissoff:
     
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  18. Woof

    Woof Liver Shots? VIP

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  19. Woof

    Woof Liver Shots? VIP

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  20. hugh jasol

    hugh jasol white trash on dope Gold

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    But enough about Howard....
     
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