I've just been appointed "Primary Bathroom-Searcher" at work.

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Jennicide, Feb 3, 2015.

  1. Jennicide

    Jennicide Active Member Banned User

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    As Primary Bathroom-Searcher of the 7th floor, I am responsible for searching/checking the bathroom to make sure it has been cleared of all employees in the event of a fire or any other type of building evacuation.

    There are Secondary Bathroom-Searchers as well, but I am the Primary. The HBIC of bathroom-checkers, if you will.

    I want to thank everyone for their support. I want you all to know that I do not take this position lightly, and I will do my best to make sure all 7th floor bathrooms are evacuated promptly in the event of an emergency.

    Thank you for your time.
     
    Summer likes this.
  2. Gitfiddle

    Gitfiddle Live Deliciously

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    Oh
     
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  3. Billy Brown

    Billy Brown Bigly VIP

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    :widestance:

    Are people so dumb that they think they can hide from a fire in a bathroom?

    Are the bathroom walls so thick that they can't hear a fire alarm in there?
     
  4. Stevie

    Stevie Now go...Ohm.

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    Fuck off.
     
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  5. Jennicide

    Jennicide Active Member Banned User

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    Yes and no.

    On a side note, Vincent Gallo is the most handsome man to ever exist, and Buffalo '66 is one of my favorite films.

    That being said, if Vincent Gallo were standing in front of me during a fire evacuation, I would push him aside to check the bathrooms. I am serious about my position.
     
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  6. Jennicide

    Jennicide Active Member Banned User

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    You seem jealous.
     
  7. Stevie

    Stevie Now go...Ohm.

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    You seem boring.
     
  8. Jennicide

    Jennicide Active Member Banned User

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    Tell me about your day. I bet no one has entrusted you with their lives.
     
  9. Stevie

    Stevie Now go...Ohm.

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    Tell me Im pretty first...
     
  10. Kanye West

    Kanye West Yeezus! Gold

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    this account is total schtick
     
  11. Billy Brown

    Billy Brown Bigly VIP

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    :up:
     
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  12. Jennicide

    Jennicide Active Member Banned User

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    No. I remember you, hoof-print head.
     
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  13. Stevie

    Stevie Now go...Ohm.

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    I hate you.
     
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  14. freds

    freds no mayo VIP

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    :jj: i like this guy.
     
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  15. Babs

    Babs Well-Known Member VIP

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    So when the plane hits the 15th floor, you will be dutifully caring out your assignment?
     
  16. Jennicide

    Jennicide Active Member Banned User

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    Even Jesus had his detractors and naysayers. I would still rescue you from the bathroom. It's my duty.
     
  17. BrulesRules

    BrulesRules Just grab 'em in the biscuits VIP

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    Sounds very important, hope you asked for a raise.
     
  18. WillyBest

    WillyBest Achiever Gold

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    Who's your #2?
     
  19. Babs

    Babs Well-Known Member VIP

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    Men's or Women's bathroom?
     
  20. Jennicide

    Jennicide Active Member Banned User

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    I can't comment on that at this time.