I've solved the riddle on how you geniuses justify tipping and gratuities

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Lucky Pierre, May 18, 2014.

  1. Lucky Pierre

    Lucky Pierre Well-Known Member

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    [HR][/HR]If you go through all of the reasons why people justify the system we have for tipping certain people but not others, it really boils down to complete and utter nonsense. So why then do you otherwise smart people completely ignore your own common sense and logic when it comes to this subject?

    I have solved this riddle and will share it with you shortly.

    First, as Chris Rock would say, let's cut the fucking bullshit:


    ".... but.... but... they don't make minimum wage"

    I worked as a server throughout my entire college and graduate school years, never once did I end a shift where I didn't make well over minimum wage, even on slow days. Plus in many states, including California, they actually do make minimum wage, plus their tips. Read that again. 40 million Californians adding gratuity "because they don't make minimum wage" when in fact, they receive the highest minimum wage in the country. AND... even in those states where they are paid the $2.13/hour minimum, bars and restaurants are required to pay at least minimum wage. Let's say there is a storm and not one customer shows up... the employer, by law, must make up the difference.

    Also, even if it were true (and it never is), how does this become the customer's issue? This is the job they agreed to do, right? Like everyone else, they can improve their job skills, they can demand better compensation, they can unionize, etc. Yet, in your mind, this (non-existent) issue becomes the customer's burden to fix. So incredibly odd.

    "... but .... but.... they provide a personal service"

    Now that we know they never (ever) make less than minimum wage, let's look at the people who provide a "personal service" you decided should absolutely not get a tip: the kid at subway who spends 5 minutes making your sandwich, the people at the dry cleaner neatly pressing your clothes, the front desk person of an airline or hotel who checks you in and handles all your reservations, the kitchen staff who cooks your food and washes your dishes, the hotel maintenance guy who shows up to plunge your toilet, the poor nurse's aid who has to change your grandmother's diapers every two hours at the retirement center, a cab driver yes... but a bus driver no. The list goes on and on and on.

    Mr. Pink and I agree... there is no logic in your decision that certain jobs are tip-worthy and certain jobs aren't. A bartender in California spends .0002 seconds twisting off the cap on Bud Light and you give him a dollar extra. He not only gets minimum wage, plus he gets an extra $170 for his six hour shift. Meanwhile, during those same six hours, the kid at Subway did 50 times the work and walked home with $0.00 extra.


    "...but ... but .... you get better service if you tip.... you know... To Insure Prompt Service".

    The word is "ensure" not "insure" and the only time this ever comes into reality are those rare instances where you find yourself at a crowded bar/nightclub and it's very hard to get the attention of staff because they're so overwhelmed. If you take care of them upfront they will make sure you get taken care of ahead of everyone else. Makes perfect sense. However, for the other 99.9999999999% of the time, this involves just normal service at standard bars and restaurants.

    A large majority of the time, you are paying with a credit card at the end as you're exiting. Meaning your server has no idea if you're a great tipper or not and won't find out until after you've left. Guess what? If you tipped 10% on your credit card receipt or tipped 30%, you just received the same service. You didn't "ensure" anything by tipping more. You're out the door as the server is collecting his tab. I don't think he's going to spit in your food at this point.

    The Riddle:

    So why all the madness?

    The answer is simple. The vast majority of people (like you, for example) are obedient sheep who just go along with whatever you're told to do. If you were answering honestly you would say, "I don't know why I do it the way that I do... everyone else does, so I just go along too. If I don't, I could be labeled a cheap asshole and I don't want that - especially in front of family, coworkers, some chick I want to fuck. They're sheeple too... they don't think freely either. I'm just going along with what society tells me what I'm suppose to do. Plus, I get to pat myself on my back and convince myself about how 'generous' I am".

    The riddle is solved.

    You're welcome and God Bless.

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: May 18, 2014
  2. Butcher

    Butcher ?

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    tl;dr


    cliff's notes version please
     
  3. Bro

    Bro Oligarchical Corporatocracy VIP Gold

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    Jesus fucking christ
     
  4. Diogenes1

    Diogenes1 VIP Extreme Gold

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    Mr. Pink already explained this . . .

    [video=youtube;V4sbYy0WdGQ]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4sbYy0WdGQ[/video]
     
  5. Stan Beeman

    Stan Beeman Well-Known Member VIP

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    only people in California should not tip
     
  6. Butcher

    Butcher ?

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    :hat:
     
  7. TonyJax

    TonyJax White Privilege Denied. VIP

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    Work as a waiter for 6 months and it will teach you all you need to know about the human species.
     
  8. Lemmy

    Lemmy Douchebag Extraordinaire Gold

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    Constant whining and complaining.
     
  9. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP

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    yet another unoriginal thread.
     
  10. Cheri

    Cheri Skunk VIP

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    Theres no fucking way Im reading all that.
     
  11. Lucky Pierre

    Lucky Pierre Well-Known Member

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    It's not easy admitting to being an obedient sheeple.

    I can't understand how people will react defensively. The truth isn't always pleasant.







    .
     
    Last edited: May 18, 2014
  12. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP

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    OP didn't either.
     
  13. TonyJax

    TonyJax White Privilege Denied. VIP

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    War and Peace would be an easier read.
     
  14. TonyJax

    TonyJax White Privilege Denied. VIP

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    Stay home and eat :idea:
     
  15. Danas Boyfrien

    Danas Boyfrien Trump's African American Gold

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    Those cheap A group of lovely people never tip.
     
  16. Danas Boyfrien

    Danas Boyfrien Trump's African American Gold

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    Also, tl;dr
     
  17. Summer

    Summer Shed Punisher VIP

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    I tip the girl at the dry cleaners.
     
  18. Lemmy

    Lemmy Douchebag Extraordinaire Gold

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    Oh shut the fuck up already. You find something to complain about in every human interaction that you have.

    You are so cutting edge and original. Such a elite non-sheepie. AKA "an asshole".
     
  19. Lemmy

    Lemmy Douchebag Extraordinaire Gold

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    I don't own anything that can't handle the washer/dryer. :facepalm:
     
  20. EasyJesus

    EasyJesus Pappy Gold

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    I just divide the bill by 5, use that as my tip amount and go one my way. Its crazy how much thought people put into this to save a couple of dollars. :rolleyes: