Jack Black gets roasted

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Nemo, Apr 6, 2013.

  1. Nemo

    Nemo Beer Can Thick Gold

    Reputations:
    339,542
    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2010
    Messages:
    94,550
    Likes Received:
    58,665
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    http://popwatch.ew.com/2013/04/06/jack-black-gets-roasted-here-are-the-top-15-zingers-of-the-night/

    Here are the top 15 zingers of the roast:

    Best Digs at Jack
    “Jack Black. That’s what Kim Kardashian does every night.†-Bob Saget

    “He’s not your typical leading gnome.†-Bob Saget

    “[Jack] prefers to be left alone, which is why he made Nacho Libre.†-Sarah Silverman

    “Next up Jack is starring in Kung Fu Panda 3, cause he always goes back for thirds. Roger Ebert was going to review that movie but he took the easy way out.†-Jeff Ross

    Best digs at Bob Saget
    “Anyone who’s seen Bob’s stand-up knows it’s nothing like Full House. He played a sweet dad for Full House; he plays a terrible comedian for a half-full house.†-Sarah Silverman

    “Thank you, Uncle Jesse.†-Amadeo Fusca

    “I was so nervous for the roast today I wanted to go over my lines. Bob Saget snorted them all.†-Amadeo Fusca

    “Bob is currently on a stand-up tour of colleges, and it’s just nice to see someone not killing at a school these days.†-Jeff Ross

    “Do you know the myriad of emotions you go through when you find out you’re going to be the second lead in an MGM comedy then immediately find out it’s being directed by Bob Saget? It’s like finding out your 12-year-old star quarterback son is being recruited by a big college coach, and that coach is Jerry Sandusky.†-Artie Lange

    Best Digs at other attendees
    “These aren’t comedians, actors, musicians and a studio head. These are Jerry’s pall-bearers.†-Bob Saget on Jerry Lewis

    “If you want to see more of Oliver [Platt], he’s in a different canceled show every year.†-Bob Saget

    “You’re a bad actor Richard. You make Ice-T look like Sidney Poitier, let’s be honest.†-Amy Schumer to Law & Order: SVU’s Richard Belzer

    “I loved you in Slumdog Millionaire.†–Amy Schumer to Padma Lakshmi

    “What a turnout: Dee Snider, Debbie Harry, Joan Osborne. Last time I saw these three musicians together was in a $1 CD bin.†-Jeff Ross

    “Is this a roast or a charity concert for shingles. The Beach Boys. Don’t you think it’s about time you change the name of the band to something more age appropriate, like The Grateful Dead?†-Jeff Ross

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
     
  2. Nemo

    Nemo Beer Can Thick Gold

    Reputations:
    339,542
    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2010
    Messages:
    94,550
    Likes Received:
    58,665
    [​IMG]




    headshot in 1994
    [​IMG]
     
  3. openmike11

    openmike11 New Member

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2011
    Messages:
    1,915
    Likes Received:
    1
    Running out of people to roast I take it...
     
  4. NotMyBro

    NotMyBro VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    68,396
    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2012
    Messages:
    6,790
    Likes Received:
    4,975
    These were funny! Except for Amy Schumer... holy shit does she suck. Who is she blowing to be on here?? Did Sal do a set???
     
  5. Chimney Portions

    Chimney Portions I drink cum Banned User

    Reputations:
    53,779
    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2011
    Messages:
    30,067
    Likes Received:
    2,253
    [​IMG]

    Yuck.
     
  6. R.P. McMurphy

    R.P. McMurphy Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    199,092
    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2012
    Messages:
    41,581
    Likes Received:
    40,972
    ...nice teeth sal. showbiz here we come!
     
  7. MISERABLE66

    MISERABLE66 Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    12,917
    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2012
    Messages:
    1,425
    Likes Received:
    784
    Agreed. This bitch is so ugly. That fuckin chin is a weapon.
     
  8. Gator

    Gator What?

    Reputations:
    51,042
    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2013
    Messages:
    6,259
    Likes Received:
    9,094
    Jeff Ross' hair looks stupid
     
  9. RobinsBedSores

    RobinsBedSores VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    -6,272
    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2012
    Messages:
    9,944
    Likes Received:
    25
    Were any Goyim involved?
     
  10. EndOfLine

    EndOfLine PLATINUM SPONSOR VIP

    Reputations:
    71,109
    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2010
    Messages:
    7,374
    Likes Received:
    9,654
    Why is Jeff Ross so funny at roasts while his show blows donkeys? Some of those lines are hilarious.

    And I can hear all the teeth conversations in my head when I see Sal in these pictures. Good for him being there, though.
     
  11. knu3421

    knu3421 Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    36,270
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2012
    Messages:
    22,801
    Likes Received:
    5,999
    I was watching arties show on directv and Arthur said Sarah Silverman said Artie used a butter knife to off himself for one of her jokes.
     
  12. cah155

    cah155 Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    -47,096
    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2012
    Messages:
    3,180
    Likes Received:
    1,802
    Wish this was on tv. I like some of the jokes
     
  13. knu3421

    knu3421 Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    36,270
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2012
    Messages:
    22,801
    Likes Received:
    5,999
    When jack black eats white castle he gets Kyle gass.

    I wish jack black was jack white right now

    Jack black is a retarded way to say you've got black jack
     
  14. Nemo

    Nemo Beer Can Thick Gold

    Reputations:
    339,542
    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2010
    Messages:
    94,550
    Likes Received:
    58,665
    Sal there as a joke writer?
     
  15. knu3421

    knu3421 Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    36,270
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2012
    Messages:
    22,801
    Likes Received:
    5,999
    Nah, they shot paintballs at sal's ass at halftime
     
  16. Nemo

    Nemo Beer Can Thick Gold

    Reputations:
    339,542
    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2010
    Messages:
    94,550
    Likes Received:
    58,665
  17. RobinsBedSores

    RobinsBedSores VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    -6,272
    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2012
    Messages:
    9,944
    Likes Received:
    25
    Yimmy!!!!!
     
  18. NotMyBro

    NotMyBro VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    68,396
    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2012
    Messages:
    6,790
    Likes Received:
    4,975
    They shuld have asked Sal to roast. He's got a talent for being a mean prick and he would have tore Jack Black a few new assholes. Sal's way funnier on roasts than half of these nobodies they had on.
     
  19. joe361

    joe361 Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    195,259
    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2012
    Messages:
    4,567
    Likes Received:
    4,180
    I'd screw Amy Schumer:sex:
     
  20. Nemo

    Nemo Beer Can Thick Gold

    Reputations:
    339,542
    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2010
    Messages:
    94,550
    Likes Received:
    58,665
    [​IMG]