Jerkoffs at the Gym

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Quedee, Apr 18, 2015.

  1. Quedee

    Quedee Wise Ass Extraordinaire

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    Here's a list of my gym annoyances. Most of these are from real experiences. What pisses you off at the gym?

    -The Parking Spot Pricks. It starts here. These people will circle around looking for a close spot towards the front door. You're going to the GYM to burn calories. Walk a little, you might burn a few extra calories.
    -The guy who always asks the hot girl if she's done with the machine that she isn't even anywhere near just so they can try to make small talk.
    -The "In your space" treadmill users: Every treadmill is empty and you are doing your business and here comes Mr. Smelly who picks the one right next to you.
    -The phone fanatics: From the point they get in, they are staring at their screen non-stop between every set. You're not that important, just work out.
    -The February Flyers: These douchebags join every January as their "resolution" and are gone before the end of February. They are a gym owner's dream.
    -The Social Butterfly: This guy spends most of his time talking about working out and telling you how he "just finished" xxx minutes of (Name the body part) yet you never actually catch him doing anything for more than 15 minutes.
    -The "Can I work in with you?" guy who again, is just trying to talk to the hot girl. She' not interested.
    -The Posers: Always flexing and looking at themselves in the mirror. Sometimes we get a bonus and we get to watch them take a selfie to post on Facebook.
    -The fucks that post every workout on Facebook or Twitter. It's just not that important to us that you decided to work your fat ass out.
    View attachment 31276 View attachment 31277
     
  2. MrPPV

    MrPPV The Shed Stopper

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    don't forget about the guy that pees in the shower,

    guy that doesn't wipe his sweat off the machine
     
  3. SlinkyNeckStern

    SlinkyNeckStern High Pitch Mike Lookalike

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    All the hot chicks who stare at my junk while I'm just trying to workout.
     
  4. vaporizer

    vaporizer Well-Known Member

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  5. SlinkyNeckStern

    SlinkyNeckStern High Pitch Mike Lookalike

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    I don't even really go to the gym. I'm not in good enough shape. I wanna be super buff before I let people see me work out.
     
  6. Head Censor

    Head Censor Turgid Member VIP

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    I like the weightlifting grunter. Guy's bench pressing 185 lbs and he sounds like Monica Seles in the middle of a grand slam tennis match.
     
  7. Shart Garfunkel

    Shart Garfunkel I brought the magic suitcase Gold

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    "Robin, my gym pet peeve are the guys who wear towels around their waists in the locker room. I mean, what are they hiding? Am I right, Robin?"
     
  8. AmishGirl

    AmishGirl Well-Known Member VIP

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    At my old gym, there was this woman who I kept seeing there, but her body NEVER changed, and her body wasn't great - serious bingo-arms, bad stomach, always had this "blah" look on her face - OK, whatever, but she ALWAYS wore pink cut offs and a sports bra, and nothing else, to work out in. Shoot I'm in better shape & I wear a T-Shirt and knee-length shorts. It's like Jeff Foxworthy said, if you're over 18, YOU'RE NOT JUICY!!! Time to put the clothes with words on your butt AWAY! :banghead:
     
  9. Wainegro

    Wainegro Well-Known Member

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  10. todd packer

    todd packer Well-Known Member

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  11. JessOnCrack

    JessOnCrack Check out my maniacal laugh! Banned User

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    - people who sign up for the Mac-hine at 5pm and at 4:58 they're just standing there starring at you looking at their watch making you feel uncomfortable and then when they get on they're there for 5 whole minutes
     
  12. RonHeinzkaboot

    RonHeinzkaboot Adultophile VIP

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    You suffer from Misophonia.
    It's not Jay Coulter fault
     
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  13. BringBackJackie

    BringBackJackie Well-Known Member Banned User

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  14. RonHeinzkaboot

    RonHeinzkaboot Adultophile VIP

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    You know what
    I have no problem with him
    He's got a proper towel
    And he looks properly dressed
    No hair
    And he is sitting on a useless machine

    Birch shouldn't have taken this pic
    Why shame him out of a positive endeavor
     
  15. RonHeinzkaboot

    RonHeinzkaboot Adultophile VIP

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    I always pic the treadmill next to or surrounded by the ones that don't work

    Without fail morons still try to use them.
    They waste 10 minutes trying
    One right after another
    Even if you tell them it doesntvwork
     
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  16. Quedee

    Quedee Wise Ass Extraordinaire

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    I forgot about this guy. He's usually reading a book or a magazine and peddling at a brisk 2 miles per hour.
    [​IMG]
     
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  17. Rupert Pupkin

    Rupert Pupkin That Ass is Attached to Daniela Lopez Gold

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    Dealt with that 90 minutes ago. Guy and cute girl right next to me. It pissed me off when the entire row of treadmills was empty, but it was the TV on ESPN which was the lure. The other TVs have shitty stations on. I blame myself for that.

    I don't take the treadmill or bike next to someone if we can maintain space. I will get creeped out if there are 15 empty treadmills and a dude uses the one right next to me.
     
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  18. Stan Beeman

    Stan Beeman Well-Known Member VIP

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    people that fart in the cardio area should be shot
     
  19. Caffeinated

    Caffeinated Well-Known Member

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    BringBackJackie likes this.
  20. SouthernListen

    SouthernListen I don't follow the crowd. Sorry about that. VIP

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    You don't need to go to the gym. Get a couple gallons of milk, a big rubber band, and get to work.
     
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