News Jessica Alba's Company Eyed by Unilever for $1 Billion

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by kinneyjames, Sep 16, 2016.

  1. kinneyjames

    kinneyjames Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
    http://finance.yahoo.com/news/jessica-albas-diaper-company-may-122927215.html

    Jessica Alba's The Honest Company may be acquired by the maker of Dove soap for a price well below its $1.7 billion valuation, according to The Wall Street Journal,

    The talks with Unilever (London Stock Exchange: ULVR-GB) are in the early stages, the Journal said. The potential deal is valued at over $1 billion, according to the newspaper, which cited sources familiar with the matter. Alba's green products company was valued at $1.7 billion last year, the Journal reports.

    More at link

    What an earner!
     
  2. Calloused Shins

    Calloused Shins Well-Known Member

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    Look at that mons veneris
     
  3. Walygatr

    Walygatr Well-Known Member

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    She's no fun.
     
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  4. bluedevil30

    bluedevil30 Well-Known Member

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    How much of the company does she own?
     
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  5. DrSublux

    DrSublux Who am dis VIP

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    I would eat a yard of her shit just to get to that ass
     
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2016
  6. Walygatr

    Walygatr Well-Known Member

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    She makes baby diapers. You should be ashamed of yourself.
     
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  7. Flabo

    Flabo Well-Known Member

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    She ain't ever gonna get naked in a movie if she's got that much cash in the bank.
     
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  8. DrSublux

    DrSublux Who am dis VIP

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    I should be ashamed of many things :facepalm:
     
  9. kinneyjames

    kinneyjames Well-Known Member

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    15-20%
     
  10. Dorb

    Dorb Lovable Old Pig VIP Gold

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    Nuthin but a poor old social security pig here. :(
    I wonder if she will mary me?
     
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  11. Walygatr

    Walygatr Well-Known Member

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    You need to hold on long enough for full virtual reality. We're all going to have our way with her.
     
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  12. HS Cult Leader

    HS Cult Leader Elite Member Gold

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  13. Dorb

    Dorb Lovable Old Pig VIP Gold

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    Ima gonna try but this guy is knocking on my door. :chair:
    image.jpeg
     
  14. Walygatr

    Walygatr Well-Known Member

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    It's ok. I hear they're providing " Virtual Viagra™ ".
     
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  15. SouthernListen

    SouthernListen I don't follow the crowd. Sorry about that. VIP

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    So many idiots, with so much money to spend, buying companies that don't make money.

    1. Scandals damage brand

    A controversy resulted from Honest's SPF 30 sunblock, which resulted in multiple customers complaining of skin burns until it was reformulated (reduced zinc oxide levels) and repackaged in 2015.[17]

    In March 2016, it was reported[18] that Honest's liquid laundry detergent product contains "a significant amount" of sodium lauryl sulfate or SLS, a synthetic surfactant that the company claimed it would "never consider for use in anything. Period."[13][19] In immediate response to the WSJ article, Honest Co. stated that its product does not contain SLS, but does contain sodium coco sulfate which is characterised by The Honest Co. as the "gentler alternative" to SLS.[20] However, sodium coco sulfate is a mixture of synthetic chemicals composed primarily of SLS.[21] Honest's detergent is sourced from Earth Friendly Products (EFP) which didn't test for SLS. EFP in turn purchased untested chemicals from Trichromatic West which also did not test for SLS.[22] EFP had removed its claims of SLS-free product from its own website in late 2015.[23]

    In April 2016, Good Morning America reported that The Honest Company is being sued for "representing its Premium Infant Formula as 'organic' even though this product contains 11 synthetic substances prohibited under federal law in organic products.[24

    2. Sales

    They did a whopping $170M in sales. (tiny) Now, it's selling green bullshit to rubes, so maybe the margins are higher than usual, but what do you think the profits are on that? $30M maybe?

    Would you spend $1,700M to earn an income of $30M a year? That's a 1.7% return. With all the risks involved in running a business. You could just go buy bonds and make more than that.

    But Forbes says the company has "focused on growth rather than profits", so like so many Ponzi businesses of recent years, they may be making nothing or even losing money. Anyone can increase sales if they're willing to lose money doing it to lower prices. When you try to make a profit, you may see your sales plummet due to much higher prices.

    3. Competition.

    There are no barriers to entry for larger corporations with much deeper pockets to simply step into this market with similiarly "green" products, undercut Honest's prices, and put them out of business in a couple of years, then have the market to themselves.

    4. Growth.

    Companies selling real-world products, not electrons over the internet, see growth slow as they mature. Profit margins also tend to drop as a company gets bigger and harder to manage. How fast would it have to grow, while maintaining the high margins, to justify a $1.7B purchase price? A fair price for a mature company would be maybe 18 times earnings, so it would have to triple sales at the same margins just to be a mediocre purchase.

    5. Market potential.

    Who doesn't know this type of product exists already? Just how many more people are willing to pay extra to get this sort of product, which is not even proven to have any health or safety advantages? Their market is tiny, which is probably why large competitors have ignored it so far. Should it grow, they would simply step in and grab the market.

    6. Why do smart venture capitalists decide to pay so much?

    Because they have plans to take it public and using the "bigger sucker" theory, sell shares at the inflated price to rubes who don't understand all this. Pretty much the whole dot.com business model. They see more potential in the scam of selling shares than in the actual business.

    7. How much is hers?

    It is unclear that, despite "founding it" (of course she just signed her name to some papers for marketing purposes), how much she owns of it. Some sources say 15-20%, which would be a nice chunk. Her money will be made selling the company, not selling tampons and diapers.

    Classic new-era business model.
     
  16. lovetalkradio

    lovetalkradio Well-Known Member

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    Heard it was closer to 10%. Even so, if she walks away w/ 50mil after everything said and done, nice payck for not much of anything.
     
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  17. Night Ape

    Night Ape VIP Extreme Gold

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    She's gonna be the hottest, wealthiest, herpes carrier since Beth Ostrosky!
     
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  18. lovetalkradio

    lovetalkradio Well-Known Member

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    And you know this how?
     
  19. Night Ape

    Night Ape VIP Extreme Gold

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    I read the trades.
     
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  20. vaporizer

    vaporizer Well-Known Member

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    After this,
    [​IMG]

    she is the most boring, uninteresting, talentless chick on the planet so of course she's in line to make a huge pay day off of a shitty product line with her name on it.

    Nothing is fair and fuck my life. The universe, while fucking me in the ass figuratively, REALLY wants to fuck her in the ass - literally.