Jon Ritchie Thread

Discussion in 'The Artie Lange Show' started by Asshat, May 28, 2013.

  1. Asshat

    Asshat Well-Known Member

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    -got angry boners as a kid
    -after work, wanders around Times Square staring at shit
    -had no idea that Joe Buck was cool with Artie
    -lifelong dream is to pull off wearing leather pants
    -recently realized that his own kids are little people, and as such not sure if he likes them
    -is still depressed about getting cut from the NFL

    feel free to add
     
  2. neckbeard

    neckbeard New Member

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    - pounds Cherry Coke Zero like Dan Falato at a cum drinking contest
    - had no idea people were doing steroids while he was in the NFL
    - only washes his hair when he gets it cut
    - commutes via train from Harrisburg to Manhattan each week
    - hasn't seen any Woody Allen films
     
    Last edited: May 28, 2013
  3. Undercarriage

    Undercarriage Active Member

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    -nice guy. not the cocky ahole a lot of former big time athletes are. not too cool to laugh at himself
    -slow talker at times
    -very passionate about music. he seems more interested in talking about this than sports
    -wife is hot and seemed sweet
    -has horns
    -says hedid not bang raiderettes or groupies
    -angry boners too funny to be listed just once
     
  4. John

    John Member VIP

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    - Has Romulan brow ridges
    - Is addicted to tic tacs
    - Was recruited by Jerry Sandusky
    - Father and grandfather also have the name Jon
    - Has a love for meat
    - Is "Americana" according to bocchetti
    - Fears that his wife might be taking advantage of his memory problems
    - Has a dog that understands french commands
    - Is left handed
     
  5. Asshat

    Asshat Well-Known Member

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    I agree, I can appreciate his stable presence on the show plus the insight on professional football he brings to the show is outstanding.
     
  6. octex

    octex Well-Known Member

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    zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
     
  7. ltd86

    ltd86 Racist Banned User

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    -Strikes fear into the hearts of listeners/viewers just by opening his mouth to speak
    -Ability to turn six word sentence into a 90 second adventure
    -Wants to ruin football by suing NFL
    -Will hack his family to death and kill himself Chris Benoit style one day when concussion effects mix with lingering steroid effects mix with regret over being cut to create unstoppable beast rage
     
  8. ltd86

    ltd86 Racist Banned User

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    -Unsure if Artie is really a fan of Married to Jonas
     
  9. Peau de Soie

    Peau de Soie Edit Button? Thanks LaserTilt!

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    THIS!

    - Makes an effort to host and contribute to the show only when Artie is far from the studio.

    - Thinks his job as a radio host is to "sit and listen" while Artie does everything.

    - Is tolerated by Artie fans ONLY because he is not QUITE as terrible a co-host and personality as Brent Stover.

    - Is the show's resident sports expert and claim to sports credibility... and doesn't like, play, or follow the sport of baseball.


    Pretty sure that was the unlamented Stover on his single recent studio appearance. Did Ritchie exhibit the same confusion?
     
  10. Asshat

    Asshat Well-Known Member

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    -gets starstruck when meeting anyone who holds a Guinness world record
    -enjoyed "Notting Hill"

    :facepalm:
     
  11. ltd86

    ltd86 Racist Banned User

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    Sadly, Ritchie was perplexed the first 2-3 nights that Artie was doing the bit as to whether or not it was a serious thing. He even asked out loud at one point if Artie was really a fan or if it was a joke (he also made some serious observations about the show). Artie overlooked what JR said (probably because of how shockingly dense of a comment it was). It seems like lately he's caught on for the most part.
     
  12. thegame310

    thegame310 Member

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    Shit he commutes from Harrisburg? That's my neck of the woods.
     
  13. ILoveYayo

    ILoveYayo New Member

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    I don't think he commutes every day. Sounds like one of their sponsors provides corporate/executive housing for him in the city during the week. I guess that also means he only sees his family on the weekends.
     
  14. Chucky

    Chucky Member

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    I think hes gotten better as hes gotten more comfortable with Artie goofing on him. He did alright as Neckfat in that bit, or maybe that's because I had low expectations for him. They need him there for the sports guests, Artie completely handed over the NHL segment to him on Wednesday's show and he did okay. I wonder if his slow speech has anything to do with his getting smashed for seven fucking years? I remember him when he was with the Eagles and he took some pretty get hits and his head was always bleeding because they couldn't make a helmet big enough for his fucking melon head.
     
  15. TelegramSam

    TelegramSam I love Sam's cock Banned User

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    I know I'm in the minority, but I really don't mind Ritchie at all. He's just not my pick for the job, as I've said many times, but he's my favorite co-host that they've had (and as many have pointed out, until Nick's contract is up, he's probably the best value for the money we're going to get).
     
  16. Chucky

    Chucky Member

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    Yeah I don't mind him either, he seems to know his role on the show.
     
  17. octex

    octex Well-Known Member

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    Being the best co-host they've had is like being the smartest kid with Down's Syndrome.
     
  18. Brew

    Brew Member

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    I don't think you're in the minority and I agree with what you said 100%. People just criticize Ritchie because he's not PERFECT for the show. I think as long as you have someone there who gets Artie's humor and can go with flow, not get in Artie's way, and give a little energy to the show, it's fine.
     
  19. starlit dreamzz

    starlit dreamzz Active Member

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    -CLAIMS he wasn't fucked by Sandusky.

    what are the chances of that? dude's gotta be lying.
     
  20. release

    release New Member

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    I'm starting to think Ritchie was as dense as a child as he is now, regardless of chronic traumatic encephalopathy. He probably said "No" to Sandusky's advances, but it took 5 minutes for the words to leave his head hole and Sandusky was finished by then.

    As for Ritchie himself, he's the best of a bad situation. As someone already said, Artie chose Ritchie because he wanted to be the smartest and funniest guy in the room. With Nick around, that clearly wasn't the case. There's no way another comic will ever be another permanent co-host.