Just bought property in Detroit...

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Beth143nacho, Aug 6, 2013.

  1. Beth143nacho

    Beth143nacho Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    64,696
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2012
    Messages:
    19,874
    Likes Received:
    16,666
    So I took a bundle of cash thy ice been saving up and joined a cooperative that's buying land in Detroit... Holy shit can you get a huge deal there if you're hooked up the right way. Homes are commonly selling for $1, but are packed full of hidden fees. One of the other coop members is a retired construction services company owner, so they raze the lot and backfill the foundation at cost... The only major liability is the tax burden....

    1 acre in Detroit is literally running $1 for the house/land, about $10k for the razing and $4k/yr taxes... Gonna be great once the city is bailed out...

    The only problem is... The city is sooooo fucked up. I'm wondering if I can ever be fixed.
     
  2. Butcher

    Butcher ?

    Reputations:
    16,203
    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2010
    Messages:
    40,120
    Likes Received:
    3,382
    bailed out :jj:
     
  3. MyLazyHand

    MyLazyHand Russia and France Know What to Do

    Reputations:
    162,029
    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2010
    Messages:
    15,280
    Likes Received:
    23,040
    $4,000 per year in taxes for a vacant lot? What kind of services is that vacant lot using from the city?

    I hate to burst your bubble, but you just threw away $4,000 per year to keep welfare rats in Cheerios. How is that "an investment" if you spend $10,000 up front and lose $4,000 every year? Are you expecting the property to someday be worth hundreds of dollars?

    I have a house worth $450,000 and I don't pay that much in property taxes. It appreciated in value about $30,000 last year (off some lows, admittedly).





    Nowhere in the history of mankind has a "plan" to destroy things and return them to grade been a "strategy." For some reason, Detroit thinks eliminating things qualifies as a plan.
     
    Last edited: Aug 6, 2013
  4. Chimney Portions

    Chimney Portions I drink cum Banned User

    Reputations:
    53,779
    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2011
    Messages:
    30,067
    Likes Received:
    2,253
    [video=youtube;I-_uX2ZfqRI]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-_uX2ZfqRI[/video]
     
  5. Robert Higgins

    Robert Higgins Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    86,762
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2012
    Messages:
    13,177
    Likes Received:
    20,287
    Sounds like buying swamp land to me. No offense
     
  6. MyLazyHand

    MyLazyHand Russia and France Know What to Do

    Reputations:
    162,029
    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2010
    Messages:
    15,280
    Likes Received:
    23,040
    Swamp land doesn't carry a $4,000 annual tax bill.

    Sorry Nacho, that was an incredible waste of money. The only way those deals work is if you're buying hundreds of properties, leveling them, and building a CASH PRODUCING ASSET. A factory. A strip mall. An apartment complex.

    Will Detroit ever be worth anything? Let's be honest. It's full of the ghetto culture, run by crooks, and devoid of any real industry. There is no time in the next 20 years where Detroit will have any value.
     
  7. SEGA

    SEGA Permanent Vacation VIP

    Reputations:
    5,396
    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2013
    Messages:
    7,156
    Likes Received:
    399
    [​IMG]
     
  8. Eton Twots

    Eton Twots Member

    Reputations:
    -144
    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2013
    Messages:
    159
    Likes Received:
    3
    If I was going to do it, I'd buy an acre and turn it into a parking lot. Rent out a shuttle bus that takes people to the Tigers/Lions games. 81 Tigers home games a year and 8 Lions home games. You figure you could get 30-40 cars in an acre lot. Charge, say, $20 to park and $5 per head to catch a ride on the shuttle. That's some nice income. Also can figure in events at the Fox theater. Not sure how much property is available within a mile of the stadiums, but it's an interesting concept. I don't know shit about real estate and business but that's just my idea.
     
  9. P3ndula

    P3ndula Member

    Reputations:
    36
    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2012
    Messages:
    189
    Likes Received:
    12
    RT also did a recent report about a mini revival in Detroit. Wasn't paying too much attention but something about IT companies setting up shop there because commercial real estate prices are at rock bottom.
     
  10. EndOfLine

    EndOfLine PLATINUM SPONSOR VIP

    Reputations:
    71,280
    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2010
    Messages:
    7,390
    Likes Received:
    9,711
    4K a yr tax on a backfilled lot?

    :facepalm:
     
  11. MyLazyHand

    MyLazyHand Russia and France Know What to Do

    Reputations:
    162,029
    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2010
    Messages:
    15,280
    Likes Received:
    23,040
    OK, let's go through what would really happen if you did that:

    1) Your property tax bill would skyrocket as it's now a business.
    2) The city would figure out how to charge you an event tax.
    3) The rainwater from your parking lot would need to be controlled, so you would need to hook into the city sewer. Connection tax and ongoing use tax.
    4) You would need to hire union bus drivers, and contribute heavily to their underfunded pensions.
    5) You would need to hire security to collect parking fees and watch the cars, because the Trayvons would be on that parking lot like white on rice.
    6) The security people will steal your cash.
    7) You'll need to pay for insurance. And I'm sure that costs a fortune in that crime zone.
    8) And I won't get into all of the payoffs you'll need to make to corrupt officials.


    I figure instead of losing $4,000 per year, you'll lose $100,000 per year.
     
  12. Wigward Hairhat

    Wigward Hairhat Active Member

    Reputations:
    94
    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2013
    Messages:
    1,583
    Likes Received:
    24
    For this particular job you're gonna need this guy.

    [​IMG]
     
  13. EndOfLine

    EndOfLine PLATINUM SPONSOR VIP

    Reputations:
    71,280
    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2010
    Messages:
    7,390
    Likes Received:
    9,711

    How the hell is your tax bill less than 4K on a 450K house? Are your schools shit?
     
  14. PI Nate

    PI Nate Disenfranchised since 1984... Gold

    Reputations:
    269,451
    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2011
    Messages:
    52,265
    Likes Received:
    52,031
    I tried to buy a few adjoining vacant lots in a shitty neighborhood in the 90's, they were owned by the city. I was told they werent for sale, for ANY price. I tried again a few years later and offered more than the appraised/assessed value, I was again turned away. Fast forward two years, I took a ride passed and saw new construction taking place. The contractor had ties to the local alderman and mayor at the time. :cuss:
     
  15. Eton Twots

    Eton Twots Member

    Reputations:
    -144
    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2013
    Messages:
    159
    Likes Received:
    3

    Gut punch. No you are 100% correct.
     
  16. Ruffypup

    Ruffypup Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    162,480
    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2011
    Messages:
    23,254
    Likes Received:
    3,484
  17. Billy Brown

    Billy Brown Thinking big VIP

    Reputations:
    68,742
    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2011
    Messages:
    37,677
    Likes Received:
    5,234
    Detroit is not going to get bailed out.
     
  18. PI Nate

    PI Nate Disenfranchised since 1984... Gold

    Reputations:
    269,451
    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2011
    Messages:
    52,265
    Likes Received:
    52,031
    [​IMG]
     
  19. Walrus

    Walrus Active Member VIP

    Reputations:
    230
    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2012
    Messages:
    325
    Likes Received:
    57

    Is this area even zoned to be a business? You may have to add in bribing the council men and women into agreeing to change the zoning in that area.

    Unless you can buy hundreds of acres and turn them into farmland I think you got a bad deal. I agree with Wigward, you are going to need RoboCop for this.
     
  20. zerokarma

    zerokarma Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    7,103
    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2012
    Messages:
    1,629
    Likes Received:
    1,733
    Detroit is a shit hole that will never recover, at least not in any of our lifetimes.

    It should just be returned to nature or farm land. Bulldoze all remaining abandoned houses and structures. Scrap whatever can be scrapped. End all remaining services there and just be done with it.