Just got attacked by a pack of wild Zipperheads!!!

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Swayze, Jan 16, 2013.

  1. Swayze

    Swayze Guest

    Reputations:
    0
    I was doing my personal shopping at Home Hardware - mainly looking for a new plunger, and these FUCKING asian punks came into the store.

    I pretended that I didn't notice them but they started walking straight towards me like they knew me. They started asking me all kinds of questions about plungers and my bowel movements, being really rude like. Then one of the zippers got down on all fours behind me and the leader pushed me over him and thats when they all started bootfucking me.

    I'm in the emergency room now. Stiches, cracked ribs, my best shirt got totally torn off so I have no shirt to wear.
     
  2. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP Gold

    Reputations:
    84,015
    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2010
    Messages:
    199,141
    Likes Received:
    85,012
  3. DrivenByDemons

    DrivenByDemons Spinoff Jesus Staff Member

    Reputations:
    7,848
    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2010
    Messages:
    71,763
    Likes Received:
    44,477
    That's why I only travel with my posse of waterheads.
     
  4. Avery

    Avery Well-Known Member Banned User

    Reputations:
    -441
    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2010
    Messages:
    44,521
    Likes Received:
    24,209
    We gotta do something about these pan-faced animals!

    Time to take out the trash.
     
  5. Swayze

    Swayze Guest

    Reputations:
    0
    Worst part is I was strapped for such an occassion. See below.

    But I couldn't get to my weapons in time as I was "swarmed" like you hear on the news.

    [​IMG]

    They took my Sears gift card.
     
  6. wigtropolis

    wigtropolis Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    3,508
    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2012
    Messages:
    20,516
    Likes Received:
    11,685
    are you ok?
     
  7. Kanye West

    Kanye West Yeezus!

    Reputations:
    21
    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2011
    Messages:
    120,890
    Likes Received:
    24,049
    this
     
  8. Swayze

    Swayze Guest

    Reputations:
    0
    I'm shaking right now

    So no

    I"m not OK
     
  9. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter Gold

    Reputations:
    16,823
    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2010
    Messages:
    215,901
    Likes Received:
    42,216
    Link :fail:!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:cwl:
     
  10. Avery

    Avery Well-Known Member Banned User

    Reputations:
    -441
    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2010
    Messages:
    44,521
    Likes Received:
    24,209
    It's a sentence underlined for emphasis. :rolleyes:
     
  11. Popeye Saavedra

    Popeye Saavedra Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2012
    Messages:
    37,710
    Likes Received:
    2,138
  12. fletchman71

    fletchman71 Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    811
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    10,784
    Likes Received:
    2,228
    You need to change your name because the real Swayze would have torn the throats out of those zipperheads' necks. You are a disgrace to the Swayze name.
     
  13. face palm

    face palm Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    May 4, 2012
    Messages:
    30,644
    Likes Received:
    8,698
    did they jack your swag again?
     
  14. Stjtoday

    Stjtoday Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    1,438
    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2012
    Messages:
    387
    Likes Received:
    350
    Don't worry, I hear the president is going to outlaw plungers.. problem solved
     
  15. Swayze

    Swayze Guest

    Reputations:
    0
    Stoopy strikes again!!!