know any jokes

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by bennymuso, May 29, 2015.

  1. bennymuso

    bennymuso Italian by name, British by nature

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    I have a pakistani who lives next door to me, He said the other day to me "I'm a better man than you" I said "I never said you fucking wasn't, but what makes you think your a better man than me?" He said "I don't have a fucking Paki, living next door to me.
     
  2. HowieStearn

    HowieStearn HateClub

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  3. Nick Mondo

    Nick Mondo VIP Extreme Gold

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  4. bennymuso

    bennymuso Italian by name, British by nature

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    Q: Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? A: They named him Sum Ting Wong.
     
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  5. HowieStearn

    HowieStearn HateClub

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  6. reno

    reno VIP Extreme Gold

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    That's killer shit right there. (said in Jackie's voice)
     
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  7. reno

    reno VIP Extreme Gold

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    Did you hear about the constipated Math teacher?

    She worked it out with a pencil.
     
    Last edited: May 30, 2015
  8. greenchiclets

    greenchiclets Well-Known Member

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  9. captbill

    captbill Well-Known Member

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    Three guys are on safari in Africa. They had been out in the bush for about 3 months and had not had a woman in all that time. One of them comes up with the idea of capturing a female gorilla, staking her arms and legs out and doing her. The other two guys say, "no, that's not right."

    Another 3 months goes by and by then they are pretty desperate. So the female gorilla is brought up again. This time they do it.

    She is staked out and the first guy starts to do her but stops and says, "No, I just can't, she's too ugly." One of the other guys says to wait. He goes into their tent and comes out with a bucket. He puts the pail over her head and the handle under her chin like a strap. He asks, "How's that?" The guys says that as long as he doesn't have to look at her face it is OK.

    After a few minutes the gorilla gets turned on. Being very strong she yanks all for stakes out of the ground. She wraps her arms and legs around him and starts pumping back and forth like there is no tomorrow.

    The guys starts yelling, "Get it off! Get it off!" The other guys reply, "We can't, she's too strong'"

    The guy says, "Not her, the bucket, I want to kiss her!"
     
  10. broccoli rob

    broccoli rob thanks for the memories DW3

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    Guy walks into a bank and says I want to open a fucking bank account
    [​IMG]
     
  11. IfTheyOnlyKnew

    IfTheyOnlyKnew VIP Extreme Gold

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    o_O
    :puke:


    :hilarious:
     
  12. Chicken Soda

    Chicken Soda Unknown Member

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    Demeaning to shorten the word to Paki?


    Unfair for the term Jap and Americunt to be on the same level.
     
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  13. killallposers

    killallposers VIP Extreme Gold

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    Yes.
     
  14. joyceface

    joyceface Queen of Everything VIP

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    Why did the policeman smell bad?
    he was on duty ;)
     
  15. ChimneySweep

    ChimneySweep Well-Known Member

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    A horn player who had been playing with Buddy Rich for many years heard that Buddy had died. He wanted to be sure, so he phoned Buddy's wife... "Can I speak to Buddy please?" he asked.

    Buddy's wife said, "I'm sorry, Buddy passed away last week."

    The horn player hung up.

    A couple of hours later, he called her again. "Is Buddy there please?"

    "No, I'm sorry. Buddy's no longer with us," said Buddy's wife. And hung up the phone.

    Ten minutes later, he called Buddy's wife again. "Can I speak to Buddy please?" he said.

    She recognized his voice, and said: "Look, I've told you before, BUDDY'S DEAD!" And slammed down the phone.

    Two minutes later, and the phone rang again... "is Buddy there?" the horn player asked.

    Buddy's wife screamed "I'm not going to tell you again, Buddy is dead.. D. E. A. D., DEAD! Now, why do you keep calling???!!!!"

    The horn player replied, ..."I just never get tired of hearing it."
     
  16. shrinkage

    shrinkage Well-Known Member

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    What are the only items left on the shelf at the looted CVS in Baltimore?

    Sun tan lotion & Father's Day cards
     
  17. John Walker

    John Walker Well-Known Member

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    Some jews did something or other and it turns out that they owned the bar. Bada bing. I'm here all week folks. Try the salad bar.
     
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  18. joe361

    joe361 Well-Known Member

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    What do you call a blonde girl doing a handstand?
    A brunette with bad breath.
     
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  19. LawyerLarry

    LawyerLarry Mr. Fuckmoney in the Bank VIP

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    "Give Rodney a chance" is my favorite joke.
     
  20. Leykis101

    Leykis101 Well-Known Member

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    Did you hear that joke about the baby who died of AIDS? It never gets old...