Late Breaking News!!!: Engaged Chicken's 100,000th Post, Where Were You When It Happened?

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by pheelios, Aug 2, 2014.

  1. pheelios

    pheelios Well-Known Member VIP

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    [​IMG]

    Mortons salt is just as good as sea salt there is no difference, you have A cups, you have big saggy boobs, your arms are fat, you hang around with your daughter too much, you don’t pay any attention to your daughter, you are a maid, you have to work for a living, you live on alimony, you live in a three room hovel by the El tracks, you live in a tacky subdivision, you don’t know anything about cooking because you look up recipes on the internet, you use chafing gel on your thighs, you use twat cream on your face, you shouldn’t wear makeup nobody cares it doesn’t matter, you shouldn’t color your hair nobody cares it doesn’t matter, you are menopausal, you are in you mid fifties, you are vain, you are a short order cook, you think you are an expert on Brooklyn because you visited there fifteen years ago, you buy shirts you like in more than one color, you turned your ex husband gay, your daughter is a lesbian, you have pink hair, you have a grey streak in your hair, Vizios are not good tvs, you have a cleaning service which means that you live in filth, you live in an apartment, you get maintenance from your ex husband even though in your state there is no such thing if you have lived with another member of the opposite sex, you shouldn’t spend money at Starbucks, you shouldn’t drink pretentious bottled kombucha tea, people do not want a cook to make their dinners to reheat later, you can’t heat steak that has remained grilled, fennel pollen is too expensive, you only work 9 hours a week, you make Kraft Macaroni and cheese and can soup for your clients, fish sauce doesn’t make a difference, if you can’t taste it in a dish there is no reason to use it, you have a posse of e knights, nobody likes you, your friends defend you, you don’t have any friends, you are fat, you have never been fat you don’t understand my pain, typing on an Ipad while strolling through Central Park is good exercise, your ex husband pays all your bills, you gave your first blowjob at 14, you should instill shame in your daughter and make sure it’s not ok if she turns out gay, you don’t have sex with anybody, you have sex with men on the internet, you are celibate, you shouldn’t trust that your clients will pay you you should get the money upfront, you are not on an email list for your neighborhood police department, you decorate with books, your sixty five year old lamp is ugly, alimony is called maintenance it doesn’t matter that you lived with another man in Illinois you still get maintenance, you earn $17 an hour, you only go to the gym to be seen, you should just work out at home, nobody goes to the gym unless they are looking for attention, you shouldn’t let your daughter dye her hair blue, you only date young boys, you broke your hammock, your neighbors don’t like you, you should not make LC’s lunch, you should not make LC’s breakfast, you are in love with the people you have on ignore, you read all of the posts of people you have on ignore, you should not order Chinese delivery since you cook for a living, you are not a chef, chefs do not order pizza, your pizza is cut wrong into squares it’s supposed to be in triangles, you should go pick up your pizza not have it delivered, can soup is fine there is nothing wrong with can soup, the crockpot is good for every kind of cooking no matter what, you get paid for googling menus, your clients throw all of your food in the trash, you leave groceries in the driveway, you pee in your clients driveway, you can braise in the crockpot, corned beef is not corned beef if it doesn’t have nitrates, you have a bake sale business, you only work part time, you should work harder and not have a waiting list, you have big feet, you have a crooked toe, this is why everybody hates you.



    #FuckMeRunning
    #ItWasn'tADate
    #WhatIMiss?
    @Seminash
    @fenderbaum
    @Munny
    #StupidFuckinCoffeeSmiley
    #ShitTheBed
    @Engaged Chicken


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    Congratulations EC, you finally did it... [​IMG]



    :hippie:
     
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2014
  2. Shivvy

    Shivvy 100k Post Club

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  3. doughhead63

    doughhead63 OD'd on life itself Staff Member

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    Damn, P.

    How long did that take to type up?
     
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  4. pheelios

    pheelios Well-Known Member VIP

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    That Sir is a direct quote from the one and only EC. :D
     
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  5. jonpow

    jonpow Tennessee Jed VIP

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    It's not a date. Let's skip the pleasantries and get busy
     
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  6. pheelios

    pheelios Well-Known Member VIP

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    This is a celebration :up:
     
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  7. Shivvy

    Shivvy 100k Post Club

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    I heart EC
     
  8. gwartney

    gwartney Unafilliated Gold

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    OP needs to learn sentence structure.
     
  9. pheelios

    pheelios Well-Known Member VIP

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    We all do Shivvy. :up:

    [​IMG]
     
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  10. pheelios

    pheelios Well-Known Member VIP

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    Oh boy, now you've done it.
     
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  11. gwartney

    gwartney Unafilliated Gold

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    Grammar nazi name was already taken so I settled for gwartney.
     
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  12. doughhead63

    doughhead63 OD'd on life itself Staff Member

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    Golly.
     
  13. jonpow

    jonpow Tennessee Jed VIP

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    Oh sorry, I thought the title said 100,000th pot roast.

    Carry on :toptip:
     
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  14. doughhead63

    doughhead63 OD'd on life itself Staff Member

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  15. pheelios

    pheelios Well-Known Member VIP

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    That would be Phil or Bro.
     
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  16. BaddFunn

    BaddFunn Kick ass fuck yeah VIP

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  17. doughhead63

    doughhead63 OD'd on life itself Staff Member

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    Is that a Gadmus original?
     
  18. pheelios

    pheelios Well-Known Member VIP

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    Oh boy, now it's an official roast.
     
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  19. BaddFunn

    BaddFunn Kick ass fuck yeah VIP

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    I made it but she was my inspiration.
     
  20. doughhead63

    doughhead63 OD'd on life itself Staff Member

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    Wow...well done. She really has her own style.
     
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