As you know, the days of the Artie Lange Show are numbered, so now we should start to consider career alternatives for the staff of ALS. Since the twins lack talent, personality and proficiency at any type of skilled labor and because they aren't pretty enough to be real actresses, their future careers are clearly going to be in porn. They are white, blue-eyed and blonde twins, so they have that marketable aspect to their lives and a gimmick to get a foot in the porn door. Here's my porn idea for The Canavan Twins: "Doppel-Bang-Her" Meet Marie, 29 years old. Marie works as a call girl. She finds out from her abusive, alcoholic, dying father that she has a twin sister. The other twin lived with their mother and was left with a massive inheritance when she passed away that triggers on her 30th birthday. Feeling jealous, she plots to steal the other twin's identity and money, but not before ruining her life. Meet Liz, 29 years old. Her job as a psychotherapist for the county and the long hours she dedicates to her job prevents her from having a social life. One day, sexually repressed Liz meets Marie through a seemingly chance encounter. They develop a relationship and Liz, not knowing Marie's true intentions, reveals all her personal information through conversation. Liz suddenly loses her job for violating an ambiguous "morality clause" given by her boss. Liz's bank accounts/credit cards are suspended after Marie racks up tons of debt through newly created credit card accounts (of which one purchase are much needed breast implants). Liz is told by her bank that she will be evicted from her home in 60 days if she cannot find a new job to pay off her mortgage. Now busty Marie plans a way to make even more money at the expense of Liz. Marie uses the name "Liz" and tells new clients that she is going to take their sex calls at the good twin's home. She collects their money up front and sends them to good twin's house for said services. Good twin Liz is puzzled at the appearance of new men at her door every night who want to have sex with her, but starts to experience sexual freedom from her frequent male guests. Liz's now former boss, who was a long-time client of evil Marie's services, is accidentally sent to good twin's home for a sex call. Realizing who it is as she opens the door, Liz pieces together evil twin Marie's scheme to ruin her life and steal her inheritance. Liz plots to get revenge. Good twin reverses the tables on evil twin and prompts men to go to evil twin's home for sex. However, the men "good" twin sends to "evil" twin's house are violent sex offenders that she counseled at her former job as a psychotherapist for the county. She sends 10 of them on one night and gives them the key to her house. Marie is raped and killed and Liz attends funeral of evil twin and sees a woman who looks familiar and realizes that they weren't just twins, they were triplets.... "Cumming next Summer: Doppel-Bang-Her 2: Evil InCarnavan" flashes on the screen Other titles: Doppel-Bang-Her 2: From Twinsanity to Absurditriplets Doppel-Bang-Her 2: The Quickening. Doppel-Bang-Her 2: Dead Woman's Chest. Doppel-Bang-Her 2: Attack of the Clones.