Discussion in 'The Bar' started by baltimore mike, Jul 17, 2012.
Bet you could eat both
"Its my favorite mythical creature."
My balls sweat smells good tonight
Is this a crack about Mike's husky frame?
Spoiler alert !!!!!!!!!!!
im a member of team hal
Hmm? I got one, from India where they once co-existed, here...31â€™st of March, 1851, In the â€œLandshuter Zeitungâ€ (â€œLandshut Newspaperâ€) A drama at the Ganges. Iâ€™ll tell of one of these terrible fights, one you wouldnâ€™t see again in a hundred years, a scene of blood and death that forever will haunt my mind. [â€¦] The lion and his rival, the tiger, need air and space in great quantity. Here, and only here, are they really able to live and to rule. [â€¦] (A long description of lions and tigers and how fierce both of them are, the actual event follows now) A Malayan slave ran towards us and shouted: â€œLion! Lion! Down there, at the river! Itâ€™s a big, fierce lion!â€ â€œOne more reason to take shelter in the house,â€ continued the colonel. â€œCome, my friends, take the weapons! The lion is a troublesome guest.â€ We closed the houseâ€™s doors; the slaves got weapons and guarded the basement. We, to welcome this guest admirably, climbed up to the gallery from which we could overlook the Ganges. An unusually big lion walked haughtily down there, not looking around as he does when he has to fight an opponent, but instead ambling slowly and thoughtfully like a philosopher, he walked there. He stopped from time to time to rest a minute, and then continued majestically his way. Under a magnificent palm, he stopped, turned around two times, and finally lay down in the shadow. This was the rest of a magnificent ruler that had nothing to fear from any adversary. He rested easily, as do those who have made no enemies. Scarcely ten minutes had the lion lain there, when suddenly, he jumped up as though struck by lightning, roaring very deeply and scratching the ground with both hind legs, as though challenging an adversary. He lowered his head and, in a single bound, jumped at the palmâ€™s stem to look about, to the right and left. Then he jumped down to ground to wait again, and his gaze lingered at one particular spot on the horizon. â€œAn enemy seems to approach,â€ the colonel said, â€œa terrible enemy, if we look at the lionâ€™s reaction. I predict that it will be a fierce fight, and many rich people would pay a great sum to see it if they were here right now.â€ â€œAnd why,â€ I asked, â€œdonâ€™t they stage some fights from time to time, if they would pay so much?â€ â€œBecause what we have here is very rare. The lion wonâ€™t fight against a human but against a fierce animal, one as strong as he himself, such as a rhinoceros, an elephant, or a tiger.â€ â€œA tiger! Itâ€™s really a tiger!â€ one of us shouted pointing a finger at the dangerous beast which jumped in huge leaps towards the lion. It was breathtaking, our eyes wandered from the lion to the tiger and from the tiger to the lion. The lion still was lurking. It was a terrible spectacle and we wagered who will win. Now they stood eyeball to eyeball with each other. Theyâ€™d seen each other and wouldnâ€™t leave unless one of them was lying dead at the ground. The tiger was unbelievably huge and beautiful with his long black stripes distributed all over his yellowish body. His fearful eyes seemed to burn, his head was lowered. We stood, at the most, 200 feet away. The sun shone brightly, so we could see their every move. I donâ€™t think I have to mention that our hearts were in our mouths. The tiger closed in on the lion, but the lion remained calm. In the latter, we could see the force of the calmness in his powerful position; in the tiger, one could believe to see the violent tension of someone who has the impudence to disrespect a close danger, one who had the will to assault it. We could see a certain twitch in his legs, but he wasnâ€™t about to flee. Did the crouching tiger want to kill the lion? I believe it did, and I admire the royal tigerâ€™s courage, he would rather lie down in a burning furnace than be accused of cowardice! The lion had not moved at all, but we could see what was happening inside him by looking at his erected mane. From time to time, his countenance suggested a submissive gesture. But he, the king of animals, didnâ€™t want to show any fear, but rather boldness, to his opponent. A duel was now inevitable. For the tiger it may be a glorious day, but for the lion it was certainly a festive day. With one leap, they could grab, bite, tear each other; with one leap theyâ€™d jump over the space of 20 feet that separated them from each other. Then, they leaped! The crash equaled the crash of two ships in a tempest! We could hear the bones breaking under the weight of their terrible paws, we could see chunks of flesh falling to the ground. They made no sound, but their gruff moaning indicated their rage and pain. Neither showed superiority and we wondered who would win. If the lion were to think that he had overpowered the tiger, the latter could earn the victory with a single move, shattering the surprised lion. The fight now lasted 10 minutes, and suddenly, as if they came to an agreement, both loosened their grip to gain their breath again. It was the motionlessness of the rage, but it was the calmness of the king. A few moments later, an unexpected incident which resurrected the fight took place: The tiger, which saw not only his defeat but also his death, used the moment. While his opponent was licking his wounded hind leg, he leaped 10 feet up the palmâ€™s stem and stayed there. The lion looked around and couldnâ€™t see his foe anymore; he roared, looked upwards, and he jumped at the tiger. But in this position it was impossible to continue the fight. They knew that only one of them would survive. The tiger jumped down and the lion followed him, but his leg caused him to shiver. A long fight wasnâ€™t possible any more. Their claws were blunted, their jaws were tired, and they had lost much blood. The fightersâ€™ jaws were wedged in each other as they bit at each othersâ€™ heads; we could feel the bones crushing. Suddenly the tiger retreated, wavered and fell down. The lion seized him with his terrible paws and it seemed like he wanted to punish the defeated opponent for his resistance. He didnâ€™t loosen his grip, the merciless king of the forest, the feared lord of the wilderness; he tore the tiger apart, he crushed its skull. Suddenly a crocodile appeared out of the river. It seized the lion at his injured hind leg and dragged him into the water. The only remains of this fight were the dead tiger under the palm and some read streams of blood on the water surface. Translated into English by Leofwin. -http://books.google.de/books?id=ghtEAAAAcAAJ&pg=RA1-PA50&dq=l%C3%B6we+tiger+kampf&hl=de&ei=aSZETeLmFYTAswbU6IHVDg&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=1&ved=0CDEQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&q=l%C3%B6we%20tiger%20kampf&f=false-Read em an weap. lol