Local dumbshit mimics 'A Christmas Story' and tongues a flagpole...

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Phan Neepack, Jan 5, 2014.

  1. Phan Neepack

    Phan Neepack Well-Known Member

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    With predictable results

    The future of America, folks..........



    [​IMG]


    EAST KINGSTON, N.H. -
    An East Kingston girl is doing OK after she got her tongue stuck to the flag pole in her front yard.

    Maddie Gilmartin, 12, was helping her dad in Thursday's snow storm. On a whim, she decided to touch the flag pole with her tongue and she got stuck.

    In this incident, there was no "sinister triple dog dare," just some innocent curiosity.

    It took her seconds to realize it was a big mistake, and that she's a complete imbecile.

    "It just kind of popped into my head, 'Hey what would happen if I stuck my tongue to a flag pole?'" Maddie Gilmartin said. "At the moment, I was like, it will come right off."

    But it didn't. "I'm stuck here in the middle of our yard just trying to get help," she said.


    With her dad snow plowing at the end of the driveway and her mom inside, Maddie Gilmartin tried pulling.

    "I see her standing at the flag pole, her arms are waving," said Maddie's dad Shawn Gilmartin. "I'm not sure what's going on until I got closer."


    "I was just like, did I really just do that to myself, like did I really just do that?" said Maddie GIlmartin.


    "She tried to pull her tongue off of it as soon as it happened and that's what made it bleed," said Shawn Gilmartin. "I had my hands cupped, I was blowing, breathing on her lips and tongue."

    Maddie Gilmartin was stuck to the flag pole for 15 minutes. Her parents were able to get her free by using some warm water while waiting for EMS to arrive. Then they took her to the emergency room.


    She'll be fine but said her lips feel like like they've been stung by a lot of bees. "I'm still sore, and I’m still taking Motrin and cold compresses," Maddie Gilmartin said. The swelling in her mouth is expected to last about six weeks.


    Maddie Gilmartin said she'll try to not be a retard anymore, and learned her lesson. "Just think before you do something, retard."


    http://m.wmur.com/news/local-girl-g...le/-/17440650/23773574/-/knrcb5z/-/index.html
     
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2014
  2. HelloCleveland!

    HelloCleveland! Well-Known Member

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    :jj: we just flipped over to Dumb and Dumber and the 'tongue stuck to chairlift' scene was on.
     
  3. stripes

    stripes Active Member Banned User

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    Maddie Gilmartin said she'll try to not be a retard anymore, and learned her lesson. "Just think before you do something, retard."

    i'm sure the retard community will be up in arms over that quote, here we go:facepalm:
     
  4. Scott

    Scott Masshole Staff Member

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    I think Phan added that last line.
     
  5. Just Peachy

    Just Peachy VIP Extreme Gold

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    I did that to metal in the freezer when I was a kid. It got stuck but I was able to get it off. I was a dope.
     
  6. stripes

    stripes Active Member Banned User

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    k, thanks, should we alert the authorities?
     
  7. AmishGirl

    AmishGirl Well-Known Member VIP

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  8. Harry Gibbs

    Harry Gibbs the boss of all men

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    just calm the fuck down, faggit.
     
  9. banksy

    banksy You wrote "I love you" in lipstick on the mirror VIP

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    yeah
     
  10. Cutlass

    Cutlass New Member

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    Stupid shit always and will happen, except now we have 24 hours of news to fill and a girl licking a frozen pole makes the news.

    For fuck sake we have a 24 hour weather channel...
     
  11. Harry Gibbs

    Harry Gibbs the boss of all men

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    dude's all pissed off because a kid did something stupid and it's going to destroy america in the future. :jj:
     
  12. banksy

    banksy You wrote "I love you" in lipstick on the mirror VIP

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    I'm sure she saw A Christmas Story and wondered if that scene was based in reality.

    what a stupid little girl. :jj:
     
  13. Phan Neepack

    Phan Neepack Well-Known Member

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    Fraaahhh-jeeeeeel-aaaaay ....
     
  14. Phan Neepack

    Phan Neepack Well-Known Member

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    . . . :rolleyes: Lonely little virgin boy, alllllllways lookin' for attention :(
     
  15. Harry Gibbs

    Harry Gibbs the boss of all men

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    that is so gay. :jj:
     
  16. Capn Crud

    Capn Crud The Pride of Cucamonga VIP Gold

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    The retard community doesn't know what the word retard​ even means. Their handlers will have fake outrage.
     
  17. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal Oh, that's a nice headlock, sir. VIP

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    Bear Grylls says to pee on her tongue and it will slide right off.
     
  18. crazypreacher

    crazypreacher reDragon Gold

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  19. Scott

    Scott Masshole Staff Member

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    [​IMG]
     
  20. P-B

    P-B Honourary Canuck Gold

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    Notice the comments are disabled for that particular story. I guess little dumbass wants her 5 minutes of fame, but doesn't want anybody calling her a dumbass.