Mad, Bad and Unfunny To Know: What's up with the post-divorce Gunkster?

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by BeerCanThick, Aug 18, 2015.

  1. BeerCanThick

    BeerCanThick Well-Known Member

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    So, part of the Howard Stern mythos for years now was his non-stop womanizing and fucking after he divorced his first wife, Alison Berns, in 2001. As the marriage was crashing and burning and the divorce was happening, STERN was a man's man getting his calligraphy brush wet all over Manhattan and Hollywood.

    Now it didn't happen, according to Howard Stern himself! Stern even took issue with a reporter saying he had been with "many women." Is that the reaction the summer camp Casanova and the DJ Don Juan should have? Sometimes he even says that he was almost fired from a job because he was running through every woman in the company!

    And now?
     
  2. DinnerSocks

    DinnerSocks Well-Known Member

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    What day is it and how is the wind of the left wing, PC-police blowing? Maybe Gunky's "mad tear" era is considered too mysoginist at the moment? In reality, the truth is that all the girls he was with were Scores strippers that he paid for, I would probably want to "re-write" that era too.
     
  3. Mr Fantastic

    Mr Fantastic Found Nemo VIP

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    If he didn't have three female clones zoo-zoo-zooing around, I'd argue that he's never been with a woman.
     
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  4. HorsetoothBeth

    HorsetoothBeth Well-Known Member

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    Middle-America loved Howard would never treat women as sex objects. He found his true love Beth and there was no looking back.
     
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  5. PSU Shower Room

    PSU Shower Room Well-Known Member

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    Let's not forget all those female Buchwald clients he banged during the mad tear.

    True story.
     
  6. ScottBaiosPenis

    ScottBaiosPenis Well-Known Member

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    the only "tear" was ralphs sphincter
     
  7. Murcielago

    Murcielago Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast

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    His Summer camp stories remind me of the nerd in "Breakfast Club" talking about his conquests in Canada.
     
  8. BeerCanThick

    BeerCanThick Well-Known Member

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    Alison and Beth are the only women he ever slept with and Beth seems debatable. All the ladykiller stuff was just stuff he said because he thought as a shock jock guy it would appeal to his male audience. He was always funnier when he said what an inept little gunk he was. Being cool is not funny, being funny is not cool. Too many people don't grasp that.
     
  9. Benjamen

    Benjamen Well-Known Member

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    Fred shrieked an incredulous "What?!" when the Lexington newscaster described Howard as a man who got divorced and was with a lot of women. Why would this confuse Fred? Howard has boasted for 15 years about his post-separation womanizing -- famously known as his Mad Tear. Many times he's described the encounter where a woman was so turned on by him that she forced his penis into her whole asshole. He's described tying a woman up and teasing her until she begged him to put it in. He's described meeting women at a club during the early bird special and getting blown moments later. He "dated" Angie Everhart and Robin Givens, and tried to seduce Leila Arcieri (the black woman from Son of the Beach) at his apartment, according to a story she told on the air. "Yeah, I was using them for sex, but they were using me for my fame," he's said many times. He's claimed that he's since learned that promiscuity left him feeling cold, and that loving monogamy in a respectful relationship is was truly makes him happy.

    (And don't forget about Camp Welmet, where Shades of Blue did so much co-worker crushing that his boss threatened to fire him.)

    Yet today, he threw all of that boasting out the window in his argument against an audio tape. He claims he was only with "some" women after leaving his first wife. And Robin chimed in that Howard was with Beth 8 months after his divorce.

    RIP Mad Tear. You are being omitted from the History of Howard Stern because you are no longer convenient.
     
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2015
  10. Lster

    Lster Well-Known Member VIP

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    Who is this "gunk" you speak of? Howard's nickname was Shades of Blue because he was such a cool cat. :guitar:
     
  11. Benjamen

    Benjamen Well-Known Member

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    New camper: "What's up with Shades of Blue, anyway?"

    Veteran camper: "Oh, Gunk? We tell him that we call him Shades of Blue because he always wears sunglasses."

    New camper: "But we all wear sunglasses. It's summertime and we're outdoors all day."

    Veteran camper: "I know. We call him Shades of Blue because of his creepy, rapidly-darting eyes. We just don't want to hurt the poor Gunk's feelings."

    [​IMG]
     
  12. smichal

    smichal A1 Dick Game

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    It's around... like everything else
     
  13. TallTyrion

    TallTyrion Triggered like a mofo VIP

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    He was quite the Casanova at Ponce de Leon Junior high...
     
  14. reno

    reno VIP Extreme Gold

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    His mad tear was with his right hand and the computer.
     
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  15. Benjamen

    Benjamen Well-Known Member

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    "I love breaking people up, so people always say to me, 'You must've been the class clown.' And I say, 'No, I wasn't. But I sat next to him. And I studied him.'"
     
  16. TallTyrion

    TallTyrion Triggered like a mofo VIP

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    it's almost Michael Scott-ish

    Best line is the Wikipedia one and it sounds like something Hmus would say....
     
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  17. kicksave7

    kicksave7 Well-Known Member

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    If Howard is so "left wing" then why does he watch Fox News 24/7?
     
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  18. SalsMasterShake

    SalsMasterShake Mouthpiece VIP

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    Excellent post, @Benjamen!

    There was also the pre-Mad Tear era when Gunkward was in college banging hot models day and night. Didn't he almost get canned at BU's college radio station for getting so much tang in the studio? :rolleyes:
     
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2015
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  19. DinnerSocks

    DinnerSocks Well-Known Member

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    FOX News is info-tainment with a right wing slant. It's not exactly a bastion for real conservatives. FN just has better looking anchors than CNN so that Gunky can pretend to get all worked up.

    It's undeniable, however, that he has aligned himself with the left in recent years. Aside from his die-hard support for the state of Israel, every major lib cause has been the subject of many a Gunky rant. Abortion, gay rights, feminism (remember the embarrassing Lena Dunham episode) have had far more air time than whack packers, weirdos, and pornstars/strippers in the Sirius years.
     
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  20. kicksave7

    kicksave7 Well-Known Member

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    He has always been pro choice...that goes back to the 80's with him...nothing new there.
     
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