Mad shitter running loose in Ohio

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Cheri, Mar 12, 2015.

  1. Cheri

    Cheri Skunk VIP

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    WATERCOOLER
    'Bowel Movement Bandit"

    Akron Police
    March 11, 2015: Officials seek to identify suspect seen in footage.
    AKRON, Ohio -- Officials are seeking to identify a man believed to have defecated on multiple cars and children's front yard toys in an Akron neighborhood over the last three years.

    Overnight Monday into Tuesday one resident who asked not to be identified set up a time lapse camera, capturing the vandal mid-act.
    "This guy defecated on our vehicle eight times since last fall," the resident said.
    The sleuth photographer said between his house and those on his block, this guy has struck at least 20 times. The vast majority of cases were never reported to police.
    "My mother-in-law walked out of our house one day, and the kids' front yard slide had to be sanitized," says neighbor Rob Brunson.
    "People up and down our streets here in the Castle Homes neighborhood were playing the blame game," he said.

    Until recently everyone who was a victim thought they were the only ones being targeted.
    A small calculation among neighbors estimates this guy has struck over 100 times but likely many than that.
    "I was questioning my son: Who do you have mad at you? People were pointing fingers all over the place," said the photographer.
    So he set up a time-lapse camera overnight Monday, and when he woke up -- one of those two-thousand pictures snagged the suspect.
    "I got a good shot," he said. "This guy needs help. That's my message to him: get help."
    "The photo shows this guy bent over on the hood, pants to ankles defecating on the car," says Akron police Lt. Rick Edwards. "We need to know who this person is."
    Whoever it is will likely face criminal mischief charges. Anyone with information is asked to call Akron police.

    635616898088333206-IMG-0570-thumbnail.jpg
     
  2. Mack

    Mack Well-Known Member VIP

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    He looks like he knows he's caught. :hhh:
     
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  3. Cheri

    Cheri Skunk VIP

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    Looks like Benjy
     
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  4. banksy

    banksy Like a 40 degree day VIP

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    Looks like Mr. Clutch
     
  5. Mlaw

    Mlaw Quite Contrarian VIP Gold

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    Are you shitting me? :c
     
  6. Cheri

    Cheri Skunk VIP

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    Why shit on the kids toys :jj:
     
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  7. PullMyFinger

    PullMyFinger Hors d'oeuvre Addict VIP

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    If I found a strange turd on my kid's slide, I think I'd have to toss it instead of sanitizing it. Just saying.
     
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  8. DrSublux

    DrSublux Who am dis VIP

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  9. banksy

    banksy Like a 40 degree day VIP

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    I'm thinking this guy lives in the barrio and is tired of looking at kids toys and cars on blocks, as is often found in the front yards of "those people".
     
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  10. Shivvy

    Shivvy Well-Known Member

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    That's where Dave Matthews lives :bigthink
     
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  11. DarkFriday

    DarkFriday Fired as a MOD...Twice. Gold

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    :ss:
     
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  12. EasyJesus

    EasyJesus Papi Gold

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    That's your neighborhood isn't it? :jj:
     
  13. Shivvy

    Shivvy Well-Known Member

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    He wears the perfect outfit for that type of behavior
     
  14. Blackened

    Blackened Commitment to Excellence VIP

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    if/when i ever start shitting on the neighbor kids' toys, I would dress like that
     
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  15. Blackened

    Blackened Commitment to Excellence VIP

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    I may utilize the hoodie tho
     
  16. RobsDad

    RobsDad Well-Known Member VIP

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    It's pretty obvious he's not a Chevy man....
     
  17. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal Message Board Poster VIP

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    This makes the time El Salvadorans threw chicken bones and lime slices on my car seem quite inoffensive.
     
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  18. Chief

    Chief I'm all sixes & sevens & nines Staff Member

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    They mistook you for their native God and was leaving an offering.
     
  19. Scott

    Scott Masshole Staff Member

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    Too bad the police in Ohio close at 5:00. They'll never catch him.

    @Nikkerz @Duracell Derek @Haunted School
     
  20. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal Message Board Poster VIP

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    They used to put up a blue lawn tarp for a patio awning and barbecue underneath it during the rain. Animals.