Man breaks into lingerie store, spends hours trying on outfits, using sex toys...

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by HS Cult Leader, Feb 26, 2013.

  1. HS Cult Leader

    HS Cult Leader Elite Member Gold

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    Man Breaks Into Lingerie Store, Gets Very Freaky

    Cops: 325-pound burglar filmed wearing garments, using sex toys


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    FEBRUARY 25--An Iowa man who broke into a lingerie store spent two hours inside trying on garments and experimenting with sex toys, cops allege.

    Jose Angel Perales, 24, was arrested Friday on burglary and theft charges in connection with the February 17 break-in at Dr. John's Lingerie Store in Davenport. Perales, seen in the adjacent mug shot, was released from custody after posting $5000 bond.

    According to a court complaint, Perales entered the lingerie store through an unlocked door around 4:10 AM. A police review of store surveillance video revealed that Perales--5’ 11†and 325 pounds--“walked around the store and shopped.â€
    Then, in what will surely repulse Dr. John's staffers, Perales walked into the manager’s office, removed his clothes, opened some of the merchandise, and “began to please himself anally on the manager’s desk and futon/couch.â€
    The burglar “then walked out of the office naked showing the large tattoo on his back. The tattoo read “PERALES†in Old English lettering.†The distinctive ink helped cops eventually identify Perales.
    During his time inside the store, “Perales proceeded to try on female lingerie and experiment with sex toys for approximately two hours,†the complaint notes. When he departed Dr. John's he was “wearing a dress and blond wig belonging to the business.†He also left with a bag “containing various items belonging to the business.â€
    Investigators estimate that the items “used and/or taken†were worth between $1000 and $2000. However, cops added, the merchandise “could not be resold and were thrown away as they had bodily fluid on them.â€
    After being read his rights, Perales reportedly confessed to the heist. “Some of the taken items were located in his residence along with the clothing he was wearing the night o the burglary,†reported investigators.
     
  2. Scott

    Scott Masshole Staff Member

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    They have lingerie and sex toy stores in Iowa?
     
  3. Chimney Portions

    Chimney Portions I drink cum Banned User

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    Howard used to use his mom's vibrator when he was home alone. True story.
     
  4. MyLazyHand

    MyLazyHand Russia and France Know What to Do

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    Wait wait wait.

    The PC thing to do is to release him as a political prisoner and allow him to marry his anal sex toys!

    Freedom for all queer/break-in/minority men! Maybe he's an illegal, too. We can only hope.

    He deserves his own show on MSNBC.
     
  5. username

    username Well-Known Member VIP

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    I heard that it was Howard's mom that used it on Howard?
    "Mom, give me some of that horse cock"
     
  6. The Snork

    The Snork Well-Known Member VIP Gold

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    All he wanted is to be loved ... is that so wrooong?
     
  7. bucketbuddy

    bucketbuddy New Member

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    that's some hairline. guy's a freaking caveman.
     
  8. HowieStearn

    HowieStearn HateClub

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    guess he was bored..
     
  9. jrstinkfish

    jrstinkfish The Slow Adult VIP

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    They have Hispanic people in Iowa?!?
     
  10. MobyDick

    MobyDick Well-Known Member

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    Hanzi?
     
  11. Keyless Chuck

    Keyless Chuck Barely a VIP

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    Can you imagine if it was your office & couch that was defiled by this 325 lbs monster? Ass juice and used sex toys all over your office :right:
     
  12. DaBUU

    DaBUU Active Member

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    I can understand the sex toys, but trying on lingerie, c'mon that's REALLY gay.
     
  13. Teeney

    Teeney My friends call me Lissette Gold

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    I sure hope while walking down the street, with the big bag of dildos, the bag didn't break having them all fall to the ground . Now that would be embarrassing.

    Oh nevermind that was Beth's fake story.
     
  14. dude

    dude New Member

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    this guy is probably going to enjoy prison way too much for it to be considered an appropriate punishment
     
  15. SouthernListen

    SouthernListen I don't follow the crowd. Sorry about that. VIP

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    Just doing the ass play with toys American fetishists are too lazy to do.
     
  16. HS Cult Leader

    HS Cult Leader Elite Member Gold

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    The real question is, is the shop owner going to trash all the toys and take the loss?

    Or is he going to pull out the Clorox wipes and get the toys ready to go back on sale? :bigthink
     
  17. smichal

    smichal A1 Dick Game

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    santorum everywhere!
     
  18. Shine

    Shine 2012 rookie of the year VIP

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    Why would there be lingerie that fits a 325 pound person :wtf:
     
  19. Beth Eats Hay

    Beth Eats Hay Well-Known Member

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    Despite wearing lingerie and shoving various items into his anus, when Perales was asked if he tried on any scarfs, he replied "Fuck no.....that's gay."


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  20. Scott

    Scott Masshole Staff Member

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    :jj: and :puke: